written and posted by members of Lancashire Dead Good Poets' Society

Friday 6 July 2012

Hallmark Schmallmark


I have a pet peeve that is linked to anniversaries. Cards. On birthdays, Christmas and now Easter we’re expected to exchange the buggers. Wedding anniversaries; well done for putting up with me for another year, here’s a crappy piece of card with a shit poem in it.  It seems to have become a social rule that we celebrate these things. I don’t like being told what to do so it’s grudgingly I enter the cheap card shop and purchase the piece of pulped tree I’m obligated to. I also receive these pieces of paper. Supposedly chosen especially for me but I’d have preferred a phone call or email to be honest. It all seems so wasteful; someone else has chosen the image on the card, someone else has written the ‘witty’ quip or saccharine rhyme inside it. The next day it goes in the recycling bin and a card making company is richer. There’s nothing personal apart from the handwriting. Maybe it’s the fact that someone has taken the time to choose it, but who spends that much time in Card Warehouse? Seriously? I’m in and out before someone belts me with a handbag while trying to reach the ‘Congratulations, you popped another child well done for breeding’ card. Anyone can buy a card. It contains no effort other than a trip to the shop. Relatives who dislike you intensely can buy you cards which contain the opposite of their true sentiments and you’re supposed to be grateful.

Don’t get me wrong I like an excuse to buy people presents. I LOVE buying people things I know they will love. I like to make things for people that I know they will appreciate. I draw portraits of their kids, and spend time looking for the perfect thing that reflects their personality which shows I have paid attention to them as a person, I know what they like and that I care. I do however resent the fact that with the gift I have to go and buy something unnecessary to go with it. The gift says I care, why do I have to be ripped off for an overpriced middle of the road card?

Kids have the right idea, but we tell them off for it, “Open the card FIRST, not the present” mums bark at them. Why? To them it’s pointless, and it is. Happy anniversary Dead Good Blog, you won’t be getting a card from me.

6 comments:

Jo said...

I dunno, I like 'em. I like the pictures.

Louise Barklam said...

Soooooooooo glad that I wrote a separate poem inside the card I gave you when you got married then. Ok, you may not have liked the picture, or the standard greeting inside, but I personalised it kinda, didn't I? :-$

Lol. Can truly see your point, but I admit to liking them myself. Same with flowers, wasteful, yet I like receiving them. Ho-hum.

;-) xxx

Lindsay said...

The cards themselves can be very pretty, but flowers are different, they are beautiful naturally unlike cards which are man made and very prescriptive. There is a space we are suppose to write 'to friend' and at the bottom 'from me' and it doesn't really allow for anything else. I think it's the social obligation bit that bugs me the most to be quite honest. I really don't like being told what to do or how I should show affection. It also makes it easy to fake it, which irritates me.

Looby, all my wedding cards have been kept in a box and yours is the one I remember best, because yours was special, you made it personal with your poem, written especially for us, with thought and affection. The card was the way you managed to give that poem to us, and it's something I'll never forget, thankyou xx

Danielle Rose said...

Congratulations, you popped another child well done for breeding - you should work for hallmark with that one ;].

When i was alot younger I told my mum that I only liked cards with money in. It's great how honest you can be when your a kid :]x

Ashley Lister said...

Is this the sort of card you don't like?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csxGJv89lJ0

Great post,

Ash

Lindsay said...

That card just gave me the fear Ash.