Thursday, 27 December 2012

The bitch hit me with a toaster!

08:30:00 Posted by Damp incendiary device , , , , , 4 comments

Upon inspection of my kitchen, I found an abundance of spirits of the past (3 year old Advocaat and empty bottles) and spirits of the future (desire for spirits) but only one spirit of the present (Whisky).  Given this sorrowful state of affairs, I have decided to use an imaginary alchemical procedure to conjure up a whimsical collection of Christmas Spirits.  I say whimsical, some of these concoctions are quite terrifying; imagine waking to find the Eggnog Gnome sitting on your pillow.  It's also a possibility that this list is not made up but is in fact an accurate representation of what passes for humanity in Talbot Square on New Year's Eve. 

The only way you will know the truth is by printing this list and taking it to a bar.  Buy a measure of everything on the list and drink your way to the end.  When you get out of hospital, please share your findings using the comments form below.

Festive Spirits

Amaretto Angel
Baileys Banshee
Beer Boggarts 
Benedictine Bugbear
Brandy Brownie
Campari Cockatrice
Cider Siren
Cointreau Cu Sith
Creme de menthe Chimaera
Drambuie Dragon
Eggnog Gnomes
Gin Grim
Grand Marnier Gremlin
Lager Lubber Fiend
Mead Magog
Mezcal Mermaid
Port Poltergeist
Rum Revenant
Tequila Troll
Sake Seko
Sangria Satyr
Stout Cyclops
Ouzo Undead
Unicum Unicorn
Vermouth Valkyrie 
Vodka Vampire
Whisky Will-o'-the-Wisp
Wine Wyrm
Absinthe Fairy



Lisa McFleeca said...

Sat with a hangover, I'm finding this very apt!!

It's great ;-)

Lisa x

Ashley R Lister said...

I met the Absinthe Fairy this Christmas. He's coming to the next poetry event.


Anonymous said...

I could read the Green Fairy...

Adele said...

Don't you just hate alliterate drinkers?

Open another bottle of champers please. Hic!

There is a huge white ring round the moon tonight. First time I ever saw that so let's party.