Saturday, 12 January 2013

And road rage and Spike and nationalism and swearing and dancing

00:00:00 Posted by Ashley Lister , , , , , 10 comments

 by Ashley Lister

 Below are five things I don’t tell people about myself:

1) I’m a lousy driver. I drive in a state of constant road rage. Sitting next to me whilst I’m in rush hour traffic is like sitting next to a sailor on shore leave, suffering from Tourette’s, trying to recite Eminem lyrics.



2) Out of our four dogs, I have a favourite: Spike. I appreciate that a good dog owner does not have favourites but I'm not a good dog owner and Spike is my favourite dog. He holds a position of esteem above all the other pets and some of the human members of the family. He is laid-back, possesses a pot-belly and has a weakness for chocolate biscuits. I think we have a lot in common. Except only one of us eats turds.

3) I love to display the Union Flag because I have national pride but I worry that it makes me look like a racist or a sport enthusiast: neither of which are looks I would wish to cultivate.



4) Whenever I’m writing short fiction I have a habit of starting too many sentences in the first draft with the word ‘and’. Obviously these instances of the word ‘and’ get deleted as the second draft is processed but they’re always there at the start, like clumsy thumbprints in moulded plaster.

5) I have a strong desire to learn how to do the Gangnam Style dance. Consideration and respect for my colleagues prevents me from attempting this.


Reactions:

10 comments:

Remittance Girl said...

"I have a habit of starting too many sentences in the first draft with the word ‘and’"

Busted. So busted! Me too.

Ashley R Lister said...

RG - thank God I'm not the only one.

:-)

Wordrabbit said...

And what's wrong with that?

Wordrabbit said...

And what's wrong with that?

Wordrabbit said...

And what's wrong with that?

Cerridwen said...

I think there's no issue at all with the desire to learn the Gangnam style dance. Do it :)

Ashley R Lister said...

Colin,

And I knew you were going to say that. And I knew you were going to...

:-)

Ashley R Lister said...

Cerridwen,

I think gangnam style would be the start of a slippery slope. After that I'd want to start twerkin. No one would want to see that.

Ash

Brewt.Blacklist said...

I have too many "that"'s. And too many "and"'s at the beginning, middle, and end of sentences; too many semicolons, too many commas, sometimes my sentences drag out for---what seems like an absolute complete---eternity, that just doesn't ever seem to end sometimes. Oh, and just plain too darn many "just"'s, colloquialisms, I-really-don't-care-opportunities for hyphens, and...

Ashley R Lister said...

Brewt,

"that" is another of those words that I can happily delete from most revisions. Sometimes I think I could tell MS Word to simply delete the word THAT from a a manuscript and it would not spoil the draft at all.

Ash