Sunday, 24 March 2013

Please Sir, can we have some more?

This week on the blog, we've been looking at the road less travelled or, as I call it, the fightback of the British economy. You may be wondering what this has to do with poetry but, as we're stagnant again and it seems the chancellor has absolutely no idea which way is up, I figured it was my chance to vent at him. 
Okay, so that wasn't very subtle but neither was George with his little red briefcase- and at least I've not tried to bugger you this morning. Had I attempted it, there'd be plenty of squealing done as I've torn the ligaments in my foot playing football. Here I am then, playing through the pain and making sure I get a topical boot in. Enjoy (which is probably not the right word). 

Please sir, can we have some more?

Dear George, I'm rather curious
Just what is it you do
It seems that our economy 
Is faltering with you
The only growth is growing old
We're stagnant in our 'spacious' homes
Please tax us, so we feel we own
A stake in this great fightback. 

Without you George, we'd all be stuck
Probably in some deeper rut
Where all the doors are slamming shut
with no chance to escape.
Your fresh idea of bigger cuts
Most excellent, let's stop those scruffs
and reward those who enter Crufts
the foresight is quite staggering. 

Whilst you're on a roll, why not attack
The families with nothing yet put back
Why shouldn't strivers pay extra tax
and be thankful, just for working?
For curiously, we're going backwards
With all these cuts and stealthy taxes
Bedrooms are a privilege for lower classes
Anyone for a second home?

Yes George, we all now live in fear
Despite 4 pence less tax on our pint of beer
Can you still not see that your numbers are queer
Maybe someone can tell you on twitter.
There's no money George and with you, there won't be
Stop your messing with the British economy
We've been downgraded, so hashtag that
Now trending: @george_osborne, twat.

Thanks for reading, 



Colin Davies said...

Of course, the road less travelled would have been a poem in support of the Chancellor.

Very please you stood shoulder to shoulder with busy highway.

Thank you

Ashley R Lister said...

Love the poem - hope you'll be reading this at the next DGP event. I can imagine it annoying one or two stalwart supporters of Mr Osborne.

Frankie Boyle suggested that Osborne could easily raise £1 Billion if he simply charged people £5 a shot to punch him in the face with a travel iron.

Lisa McFleeca said...

I'm struggling to come to terms with the fact that anyone could support Osborne - I had a rude awakening this week and not of the pleasant variety!

I'm also devastated that I can't find his official twitter account to tweet this to him every 5 minutes until he reads it? Has it been taken down I wonder...

Amazingly, I think the road less travelled would be to actually win one against that bunch of inbred monstrosities.

Enjoyed it!

L :-)

Shaun Brookes said...

Morning folks... thanks for the comments :)

Lisa: that is his actual twitter account in the last line. Feel free to forward it his way- I have.


Lisa McFleeca said...

fabulous - am on it :-)