written and posted by members of Lancashire Dead Good Poets' Society

Sunday 7 April 2013

Jokes of the week.

15:58:00 Posted by Unknown , , , , 2 comments

Good Afternoon readers,

This week on the Dead Good Blog we've been looking at jokes, being April 1st and all that.
In the week we've had the benefits system change, politicians protesting their ability to get by on a pittence and the chancellor wading in to a matter that frankly didn't concern him, you could say we've had our fair share of fools.
Speaking of which, I've just returned from a major supermarket petrol station- where I must warn you the thirteenth pump has a twitch. It twitched over the ten pound mark when I first replaced it. I thought, what the hell, I'll make it fifteen. It twitched again, after me checking the bloody thing had definitely stopped. Anyway, I wasn't having it and promptly explained this to the cashier. Apparently, I wouldn't get away with it in the big store- they'd call security. She didn't call security, despite my insistence that they should come and have a go on the pump, but there you go. As a result of their incredible customer satisfaction policy, I've dedicated them a haiku below. There is also one for IDS, Philpott, the puppet from Team America's lad and of course, George.
That about sums the week up, doesn't it?

Please scan your clubcard
Expand customer knowledge
We spy... milk you dry. 


Poor old IDS
Said "Wheels came off the wagon"
History repeats. 

Icarus Philpott
Did you even consider
Light six candles, think. 


Funny little man
Toddler with trigger finger
Perhaps try to talk. 


Chancellor, desist
Spurring on the Daily Mail
Vile product indeed.

Thanks for reading,
Shaun.

2 comments:

Ashley Lister said...

Love these.

The Kim Jong Un one is slightly sad. I thought the guy was much more likeable when he was singing Gangnam Style.

Ash

Damp incendiary device said...

Bloody Tesco. Great haikus.