Saturday, 27 April 2013

Shakespeare's Casting Couch

00:00:00 Posted by Ashley Lister , , , 3 comments
 by Ashley Lister

Now old Shaky Bill
Had a very long quill
And wrote plays filled with kings, queens and knights
But in those bygone days,
To play in his plays,
You first had to get in his tights.

Of course it helped no end
That Shakespeare liked men
He chose all those that liked his caresses.
(His roles for women
Are surprisingly thin
And were all played by blokes who wore dresses).

Now it might sound rude
And it’s possibly crude
To say this was how he cast his plays
But we’ve all watched TV
And it’s quite plain to see
That’s how most stuff’s still cast nowadays.

I’ve seen those folks
Who’re in Hollyoaks,
And I’ll try saying this with some tact
The show does well on balance
But the cast have no talents:
No one’s on there because they can act.

This same problem plagued Bill
Though he bore no ill will –
He’d hold auditions backstage and disrobe
And he’d say to each player
As he took off each layer:
“I’ve got a large part for you in the Globe.”



Cerridwen said...

Made my day :D

Lisa McFleeca said...

Hollyoaks - plague ridden drivel... Love the poem :-)

L :-)

Ashley R Lister said...

Cerri & Lisa -

Thank you. I had a giggle writing this one.