Saturday, 26 October 2013

David Cameron's Things To Do List


by Ashley Lister

 sell some UK assets
help an oxbridge chum
screw the country's voters
soundly up the backside

line the bankers’ pockets
get Nick Clegg on his knees
sanction fuel price hikes
make the old folk freeze

give away Royal Mail
make sure my friends get stocks
keep employing Georgie Osborne
keep sucking Tory lollipops

help my friends dodge taxes
do my business chums a favour
advise the poor to buy jumpers
blame it all on labour

beatify dear Maggie
locate George Osborne's brain
kill more old folk than Harold Shipman
screw Nick Clegg again

destroy a once proud nation
reside at number 10
screw Cleggy for one final time
get voted in again


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6 comments:

Colin Davies said...

I didn't kniw Cameron was so good at rhyming. And after killing all thos people in Emmerdale as well. Pffft.

Anonymous said...

I might regret asking but what does a Tory lollipop taste like?

vicky

Adele said...

Latest government advice - if you can't afford your heating - just heat one room. Makes bloody sense -especially not heating a flipping empty bedroom that is taking all your heating money Tory policy for reducing unemployment and poverty - cryogenic storage in your own home. Why didn't I think of that.

Ashley R Lister said...

Colin,

Cameron is a lovely bloke. He's got a granny for sale at the moment and she's going cheap.

Ashley R Lister said...

Vicky,

I do believe a Tory lollipop tastes of crushed hopes and exploited work forces. Ben and Jerry could bring that out as a flavour now I think about it.

Ashley R Lister said...

Adele,

Good point. We'll all be in cryogenic storage before this winter is over. Still, if I could be thawed when Cameron et al have been disposed, I'd happily jump in the ice bucket.

Ash