Saturday, 9 June 2018

Slippers - What's The Point?

20:42:00 Posted by Steve Rowland , , , 10 comments
It's nearly Midsummer and we're expected to bend our minds to slippers? I can't be doing with them at the best of times and haven't possessed a pair since I was a boy. Indoor shoes, maybe; slippers - certainly not: a badge of poor taste, old age and/or infirmity. (Yes, I know I'm being controversial and grossly unfair.)

As far as possible when at home I go around barefoot, especially in the warmer months. I used to go out and about barefoot as well and once had an altercation with a publican who objected to my bare feet. When I asked him how many of his punters washed their shoes three times a day he kicked me out! But I digress.

My abiding memory of slippers is of ugly footwear with shiny soles and fluffy interiors: ridiculous to look at, dangerously skiddy to walk about in and very bad for one's feet - which get far too hot, itchy and frankly smelly in them. Slippers - rank items fit only for dogs to chew on. Need I say more?

If I have to, then let's consider the fashion for oriental slippers like the fine example illustrated below:


It's a style that has been quite widespread throughout Arabia and the Middle East from ancient times to modern, sometimes called Aladdin shoes, more commonly Turkish slippers with their distinctive curling, tapered toes. What's the point?

Historical research suggests that the tapering and curling served no practical purpose but was decorative and a marker of prestige - the more exaggerated and elongated the curl, the higher the standing of the wearer. Would I have gotten thrown out of that pub if I'd been sporting a pair of Turkish slippers? In all likelihood.

That has pretty much exhausted me on the topic.

At the Dead Good poetry gig last night one of the poets performed a piece that had been constructed around ten randomly chosen words. It was something of an epic. I thought I might try by a similar exercise to arrive at a suitable poem for today's blog.

Here are my ten words: failed - thought -  impressed - downtrodden - test - immodestly - wrong-footed - shoddily - best - never.... a fairly random gaggle, would you agree?

Okay, here's the 'Slippers' poem I've rounded them up into, having taken the unusual but expedient decision not to add extra words. If, in reading it, you detect any sense of foreboding that the England team is going to crash and burn in the upcoming World Cup, can I suggest that is purely coincidental?

Slippers
Immodestly
thought best.
Wrong-footed.
Failed test
shoddily.
Never impressed!
Downtrodden.

Thanks for reading. Wishing you a footloose week, Steve ;-)
Reactions:

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ha ha... but Steve I think you're a bit harsh in condemning all slippers out of hand (or foot)!

Steve Rowland said...

You're probably right. My main target is those fluffy abominations. Let the slipper wars begin :-D

Matt West said...

Buddy I think your spot on with that poem. England to shuffle out early doors.

Anonymous said...

Agree with you. Slippers are rubbish. I'm hoping England are better!

Anonymous said...

Your poem does read like a telegram from sports reporter ;-(

Lady Curt said...

Oh ...Steve you do know I like my slippers...but not fluffy ones..I prefer more inconspicuous ones.....

Steve Rowland said...

Kath, you are a legend among the slipperati :-)

Anonymous said...

Entertaining as ever Mr R.

Pauline O'Rourke said...

Steve, only you could write such an entertaining piece about slippers and you're spot on. I expect to see you at our next BST meeting, totally naked. Your feet I'm talking about of course 😂

Anonymous said...

I see what you did there ;-)