Previous Experience Necessary

by Ashley Lister

I’m a writer. Or, as my mother would say: I can’t hold down a job.

I’ve been a bingo caller. A nurse. A funeral director’s assistant. An admin assistant in a company that was involved in nuclear decommissioning. An IT manager. A cleaner. A reporter. A student. A stay-at-home-Dad. The manager of a charity shop. A teacher. I spent two years working in the civil service. I spent one hour working as a secret shopper. I spent a few years working in an accounts department. I spent twenty eight minutes working as a door-to-door-salesman.

And of course, I’ve been a writer.

I once flew an aeroplane – but only for half an hour. I’ve driven limousines at weddings and I’ve driven hearses at funerals – it’s helpful to do it the right way round with those two: there are less complaints. I’ve driven ambulances. I’ve performed poetry on stage before dozens. I’ve addressed a live audience of hundreds. I’ve spoken to a radio audience of thousands.

But, throughout each and every one of these jobs and occupations and diversions – and throughout the countless others that have proved too banal to stick to the self-protecting gloss of my memory – I have remained a writer.

I have a CV that reads like a pilot script for What’s My Line? It’s a career that’s more accurately described as paisley rather than chequered. I’ve had more jobs than monster.com. And all the time I’ve only ever been a writer.

Sometimes I’ll find myself doing other things for the necessity of finances. As I mentioned last week, writing doesn’t pay huge amounts of money. Sometimes I’ll find myself doing other things for the pleasure of the role. Teaching can be quite rewarding spiritually – it’s particularly satisfying to teach creative writing and see the subject afresh through the approach of new learners.

But, always, if I’m not doing something that helps feed my face, I find myself doing things that will later feed my writing.

So in answer to the prompt of this week’s theme, if I wasn’t writing: I’d be doing more research with a view to doing some writing later.