Lucky Ashley

 by Ashley Lister

 In the past some ignorant people (thinking-challenged people) have accused me of being politically incorrect.

I refute these allegations.

Certainly, I have written poems that touch on sensitive issues such as weight (fatties), anorexia (metabolic underachievers) and stereotypical images of gender identity (fat women eating cake).

But this does not mean that I’m politically incorrect. I prefer to think of myself as being lucky.

Oftentimes these accusations come from masturbators (Tories) and rectums (Tories) who are prone to moaning about every damned (spiritually-opposed) thing they read. I’ll be honest (Liberal-Democrat-Challenged) and admit that these types of people make me want to vomit (undergo an unplanned re-examination of recent food choices). But the intention behind my choices has never been to upset or offend or insult.

I don’t write about those who follow Christian religions (morons/God-botherers/paedophiles) because I have never been sufficiently invested in religion to understand its nuances. Similarly I wouldn’t comment about other religions (terrorists/women-haters/Ninja) because my uninformed opinions have no weight or pertinence and are only likely to embellish or add to our national pool of egregious stupidity and misconceptions (tabloid newspapers).

By the same token I know so very little of issues relating to skin colour and hair colour that these subjects don’t fall under the rubric of my opus. I’m embarrassingly white (melanin incompatible) and the little hair I possess (follically under privileged) means that I have insufficient experience to broach these subjects with any level of authority.

But I count myself lucky for three reasons:

     

          1.    I’m lucky because I write with a supportive community of colleagues who are good enough to help me make appropriate lexical choices when this becomes an issue.

          2.    I’m lucky because I live in a culture where, although some word choices are questioned and discussed they are seldom treated as prosecutable offences.

          3.    And I’m lucky because, if the need arises, I can usually piss people off without resorting to being politically incorrect.