The Christmas tree is up. This year I’ve
chosen our ‘pre-lit’ one, out of the three we have. I quickly realised how
dimly lit it is and ended up patiently winding a set of lights through the
branches to achieve an acceptable effect. The exercise served to remind me that we were
going to buy a new tree and brighter lights this year and that we’d kept the
three trees in case either of our offspring, now living in their own homes,
might want one. Of course, they don’t.
They have beautifully decorated well-lit trees. I can’t get this one quite
right and I know I’ll spend the duration of its presence rearranging baubles,
messing with the branches and twiddling the bead garlands. My family will humour
me and share knowing looks, like my sister and I used to do with our dad. I
take after my dad when it comes to perfectionism.
Dad
might have had OCD, had it been invented in his day. Everything was ‘just so’
everywhere from the pub cellar, his office, his side of the bedroom. On his
desk, pens were lined up in size order and the accounts ledgers that stayed on
top were neatly piled with the largest underneath and the smallest on top. Each
night, he emptied his pockets on to his chest of drawers, loose coins stacked
in order, wallet next to his keys and wristwatch placed in the box bearing the
jeweller’s name. His obsession with our curtains was far beyond his usual
neatness and attention to detail and has been the subject of many a family
tale, resulting in much laughter.
They
had to hang straight and be gathered evenly. They had to over-lap at an exact
point when closed and be symmetrical when open. Normal stuff that everyone
does? Not Dad. He was way over the top. My sister and I have families who think
we exaggerate things about our upbringing for their amusement. We don’t need
to. We introduce them to a grandfather they were born too late to know, a
witty, down-to-earth, hard-working man who loved us beyond measure. He would
have loved his grandchildren with all of his generous heart.
Dad
was old before his time. Years of running pubs took its toll and he suffered
with arthritis and a bad back from heaving barrels and lugging crates of
bottles up from the cellar. His pain or discomfort did not distract him from
seeing to the curtains. Refusing offers of help, he would struggle to stand up
from his armchair then shuffle across the sitting room just to straighten an
edge of fabric or check the over-lap that didn’t look quite right in his
eye-line. We’ve even stood there, in the window, putting the curtains how they
should be, according to his instruction. That wasn’t usually good enough and
he’d moan in a light-hearted way, insisting that he’d better do it himself.
My
sister and I didn’t dare to make eye contact at his funeral when the curtains
closed across his coffin. We both expected to see his hands slip through to
straighten the dark red velvet.
I
don’t have curtains, but I’m fussy about which way my vertical blinds are
turned. I’ll have another tweak with the
bead garlands on the Christmas Tree in a minute. What a pain they are. I can’t
understand is how everything that was wrapped and packed properly last January
could have become such a jumble? Maybe it wasn’t me who put it away?
My
photo shows the bedroom window of an hotel where I stayed with my husband this
autumn. It’s one of Dad’s pubs from my childhood and we happened to be staying
in what was my parent’s bedroom. Not the same curtains, but I’m sure my dad
would have stood at that window, surveying night-time on the street before
pulling them across and straightening the drape.
A
short poem for the father I love and miss so much.
Remember the curtains of gold
Draping over the window sill?
I really miss those days of old
And
wish you could touch them, still.
A
Merry Christmas to everyone and thanks for reading, Pam xx
1 comments:
Lovely blog, Pam. Very touching.
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