Brand Loyal...

...featuring, contrarily, the return of the Doppelgänger. Yes, your Saturday Blogger has skipped town this weekend  and left me, his shadowy anti-self, to fill in for him. He claimed he was really busy with 'important stuff'. I didn't believe him. No loyalty to the brand!

It's not the first time he's asked me to cover. I stepped up once before, about ten years ago, and I thought I did a pretty witty job of it, as you can read here if you so wish: Doppelgänger's Blog

Actually, what I can tell you about him and brand loyalties is that he has a few strange and unshakeable affinities, but as he's not here to stop me, I shall reveal all and ridicule him and them, if you promise not to let on.

what it says on the box

I'll begin with personal hygiene. He only ever uses Pears Soap, you know, that transparent lozenge-shaped product. Says it's mild and made from natural products (ever since 1807) and he likes the smell. Doesn't mind that it's made in India these days as long as they don't mess with the formula. He takes a cake with him to the gym and whenever he goes away. As for teeth, it's Crest mild mint toothpaste. Well, that's made in Greece now, so that makes him happy, but he gets really annoyed if his usual shop doesn't have it in stock and he'll shop around till he finds it. As with the soap, he quite often buys half a dozen packs at a time just in case! His anti-perspirant is Sure for Men (with citrus tones) and if he ever uses a cologne, it's original BVLGARI pour homme Eau de Toilette. Wiffy!

What else? Clothes. Camper shoes. He always buys Camper shoes. Has done ever since the 1990s. Gets annoyed if they drop his favourite styles. What would he do if they want out of business? Go barefoot probably. He tried that for a while back in the late 1960s. Got thrown out of a pub once for being barefooted. Or was it because he argued with the landlord that his feet were cleaner than most people's shoes? To be fair, he doesn't have many other clothes fad loyalties, except for Blackpool FC tangerine football jerseys and sports tops. Loser!

Food and drink. Let me see. He doesn't have many serious brand loyalties in the kitchen. It used to be nothing but Lavazza Qualita Rossa coffee until he stopped drinking coffee two years ago. And of course Kourtaki retsina, bottled in Attica. He hasn't stopped drinking that yet, says it's the best, and always has a chilled botte in the fridge. I think he'd even order it from Amazon if he couldn't find it in a Blackpool supermarket. That's about it except for lime pickle, which has to be Patak's or nothing. Fussy! 

Oh, I nearly overlooked dining out, and that has to be Pizza Express. Not exclusively of course, but he's always (since the 1970s) been very partial to a Pizza Express American Hot. He's probably eaten a thousand of them. He even wrote a blog about them a few years ago: Pizza Express American Hot  Greedy!

Books now. He's got a lot but 90% of them are probably Penguins. Now that is brand loyal. Penguin Classics, Penguin Modern Classics, Penguin Classic Crime Fiction. Book cases of them in nearly every room in the house. It's probably his biggest loyalty of all. He's practically kept Penguin Books in business since his student days. If a tree falls in the forest, does it end up as a Penguin book in one of his bookcases? Probably!

Proust in three Penguin Classic volumes

Sport? Football - Blackpool FC obviously, but he's also got a soft spot for Coventry City (from his university days) and his first ever football jersey was actually an Arsenal one that an aunt bought him for Christmas when he was seven. Not quite Fever Pitch, but still. Dodgy!

Cars - Vauxhalls for at least the last 40 years. He says they're still a little bit British. Music - anything and everything by the Beatles. He's getting quite excited about Anthology 4. Holiday destinations - Greece. He's off to Thassos next month. Sweet Relief!

And Politics - Labour, obviously. Woke bastard!

What does that leave? He goes to the council gym regularly. Always has done ever since he moved to Blackpool. There are other, better equipped and frankly less expensive commercial gyms, but he's stubbornly devoted to the idea of supporting community ventures wherever possible. Loyal! 

Oh, he's left this poem for you all as well. It's probably rubbish, but I don't do poems so take it or leave it. (I'd leave it if I were you.)

Chlorine Corner

Steely cold January morning | a hint of frost where

I parked my car | as close to the gym as I could get

and as I walk around the corner |  a blast of hot air

issues from a vent | tangy with a punch of chlorine.

Proustian moment this | been reading him recently.

Only for me | not madeleine cake | but a treacle tart

after swimming lessons | at the Peterborough Lido.

As a nine year old | with glasses. | I hated that pool.

Sixty years on | a momentary pang | of sympathy for

my skinny, myopic shivering former self  | thankful

when the half hour was over | sat on the school bus 

with the sixpenny treat | which made his ordeal okay.

Thanks for your brand loyalty, S ;-)