Tea set

I’m looking at my tea set now trying to get ideas for this blog. As it consists of a Birmingham City mug and a small flowery plate ready for a honey sandwich then this is not going to get me very far.

my tea set 

So what is a tea set:

Teapot – The main vessel for brewing and serving tea.
Teacups – Small cups designed for sipping tea, usually match the teapot in the set.
Saucers – Small plates placed beneath teacups to catch any drips and often used for placing small snacks.
Tea Tray – A tray used to collect excess water and spills, especially in traditional Chinese tea ceremonies.
Tea Strainer – A tool to filter tea leaves or herbs while pouring tea into cups.
Tea Infuser – A small device for holding loose tea leaves during steeping.
Creamer - A small pitcher for serving milk or cream with tea.
Sugar Bowl – A container for holding sugar cubes or loose sugar for sweetening tea.
Tea Caddy – A container for storing and preserving loose tea leaves.
Tea Spoon – A small spoon for stirring tea or adding sugar.
Tea Cosy – A fabric cover placed over the teapot to keep the tea warm.
Trivet – A heat-resistant pad or stand to protect surfaces from the hot teapot.
Lid Rest – A small tray or holder to place the teapot lid while serving.
Tongs – Utensil for handling sugar cubes or tea leaves.
Tea Towel – A cloth used for drying teacups or wiping spills.

That is according to Alix Attaway, writing in British Market (and other sources are very similar) who goes on to say that to create a more comprehensive tea service, consider investing in extra serving pieces like a sandwich plate or a cake stand. I came across one suggestion of having a tea timer as well.

a fancy tea

Choosing a tea set that complements the kind of tea you will be serving is also crucial. Say, for example, you might choose a tea set with a more robust design, like a stoneware set with a striking colour or pattern, if you like strong, powerful teas, or you could select a tea set with a more delicate design, such a fine China set with a floral pattern if you are serving delicate, floral teas.

Let’s just go back to that list of what makes a tea set. The first thing that leaps out at me is the requirement for Small cups designed for sipping tea. Oh no no no. When I want a cup of tea I want something that eases my thirst and lasts more than a microsecond.
I don’t need a saucer, I have table mats for that as I have that mug.
I do have a tea tray but it’s only for taking tea from the kitchen to the front room.
I did go through a phase of teapots, strainers and infusers and the joy of a tea cosy (I still have three of them) but all that fuss. It’s Yorkshire Gold teabags now and milk straight from the bottle and sugar from the packet.
I’d never heard of a trivet before and why would I when I have mats with images of trains or a nice garden.
I have no idea why or what a Lid Rest is used for.

trivet

I know this is a slight diversion but when I was looking for info on this subject I came across some fascinating facts regarding the etiquette of having tea with a tea set as above. For instance, under no circumstances must you stir tea in a circular motion. The correct way to stir is to place the spoon at a 12 o’clock position in the cup and softly fold the liquid back and forth 2-3 times to the 6 o’clock position, and never ever leave the tea spoon in the cup. When your tea spoon isn’t being used, pop it back on the saucer, to the right of the cup.

There are poems about tea sets but I can’t find a satisfactory one so here’s this effort done in a rush this afternoon in a rather nice café in Lancaster.

Game, Set and Match

It didn’t start well
I’d poured milk in first
used a tea spoon
for the sugar
used the wrong knife
buttering a scone
and rhymed it with gone
I’d finished a cup
and reached for the pot
mentioned tea bags
and of course Yorkshire Gold
she pointed out that
I’d stirred the tea in circles
and to be fair she was smiling
we both knew that
we weren’t a match
but it was fun while it lasted.

Thanks for reading, Terry Q.

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Slugs

I was having a cup of tea with my friend M in my kitchen, I hadn’t seen her for a while so was explaining the problem I was having with slugs gaining access from the yard. She looked thoughtful for a few seconds and then said “Are they like that?” pointing. I turned round my mug and there was a MASSIVE slug climbing up the side. And it was my Birmingham City one.

She couldn’t stop laughing and I was tempted to either give her a slug to the jaw or find a glass for a calming slug of whiskey. Actually I did neither, as my main concern was to get rid of the thing outside and then rescue my mug. But I couldn’t do it. Well, I could get rid of the slug but I had to chuck out my Blues one as well. Luckily, I had several others.

So slug is a funny type of word. When I envision the creature my image is of a soft, squelchy sort of thing making slimy tracks across concrete but a slug to the jaw is hard and a slug of Jameson looks smooth in the glass but packs a punch.

The problem with the kitchen slugs has gone so I suppose I now think of slug as in American hardboiled detective fiction. Here’s Raymond Chandler from ‘The Long Goodbye’:
She makes that helpless gesture and has that goddamned headache and you would like to slug her except that you are glad you found out about the headache...Because the headache will always be there, a weapon that never wears out and is as deadly as the bravo’s rapier or Lucrezia’s poison vial.

As for the Jameson, I remember back in the ‘80s when I was living in Hammersmith. I had the day off to watch a Test Match on the tv. A pal had given me a bottle of the stuff and told me to try it. I poured myself a slug and it looked quite attractive and was so smooth going down. I didn’t look so attractive when I stood up and went down after half the bottle.

By this time in the writing I thought I’d better look up the origins of slug and if there were any other meanings of the word as I’d remembered it could also be something to do with a bullet and blow me there are at least another 15 meanings of the word. 

Here are a few:
A slow lazy person (probably from the Old Norse)
A solid block or piece of roughly shaped metal.
A black screen (television editing).
A counterfeit coin, especially one used to steal from vending machines (from 1880s).
The last part of a clean URL, the displayed resource name, similar to a filename.
A discrete mass of a material that moves as a unit, usually through another material.
A title, name or header, a catchline, a short phrase or title to indicate the content of a newspaper or magazine story for editing use (from 1920s)

But this is my favourite:
The imperial (English) unit of mass that accelerates by 1 foot per second squared (1 ft/s²) when a force of one pound-force (lbf) is exerted on it. Rarely used now.
Synonym: geepound
The average slug has a mass of around 0.00002 slugs.

I’d never heard of it.

The poem has been chosen solely because I can then use the words used by Tr: ‘slugs are homeless snails’.

Slugs

Who could have dreamed them up? At least snails
have shells, but all these have is—nothing.
Small black antennae like fat pins wave
as if they could take in enough to get them through.
Turn them over, they’re the soles of new shoes,
pale and unmarked as babies. They flow,
the soil itself learning how to move and, moving,
almost staying still, their silver monorail
the only evidence of where they’d been.
And they die quiet, or at least (thankfully)
out of the human ear’s range, between two stones,
under heels, shriveling in salt or piss, at the tips
of sharp sticks. Fight back, I hear myself say,
do something. Don’t just take it. But they die
as they had lived, exuding slime, like
the smaller boys, who’d just
stand there, miserable in short pants,
school socks down to their ankles,
school tie unknotted and askew, and flowing
from noses slow cauls of snot that
from time to time they’d lick or sniff back up
part way, until it flowed again, coating
the upper lip, falling into the mouth, mixing
with tears before anything had been done,
the fear itself enough, so even if we wanted
we couldn’t let them off. Sometimes it was
the knee “where you daren’t show your mother,”
other times the kick in the shins, the stick over
the head, the punch in the mouth, while they
just stood there, or double up, gasping
for breath, and we did it again.

                                                        Brian Swann

Source: Poetry (July/August 2012)

Thanks for reading, Terry Q.

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