Roll of the Dice - Take a Chance

I was completely out of my comfort zone in the casino. I’ve got an almost zero gambling ethic – I do the lottery, that’s all – and the clientele around the roulette tables were nothing like I’d seen in the James Bond films, disappointingly.  The ‘let’s do something different for our Christmas night out’ had fallen a bit flat with some colleagues leaving soon after the meal. The food was delicious. All three courses cooked to perfection, presented well and plenty of it. Afterwards, a few of us milled around various games, being shown how to play and maybe having a go. We had complimentary chips to use. One of us won herself a small fortune and had real money to take home, not me. I dabbled with pontoon and something else to do with cards, watched someone rolling dice and quietly sipped my drink, biding time until I could leave. I was aware of someone playing the same slot machine hours on end and it bothered me. It was certainly not my business and I wouldn’t dream of interfering. They might have all the money in the world to lose, but I don’t want to be in that place. I remember wishing I was at home with Gogglebox and my knitting, where I would have been if I hadn’t volunteered to drive a few of us. And I didn’t want to be thought of as boring.

I think I’ve always leaned towards ‘cautious’ rather than ‘risky’ which makes me wonder what would have happened had I taken the less safe choice. Our lives are built on decisions and choices over one path or another and doing what it right for us at a particular time. How daring it might be to do the exact opposite. And, ‘To thine own self be true’, might surprise others, but you’ve got to go for it.

When I was younger, I thought nothing of taking off in my car, belting down motorways into unknown places for no special reason. Looking back, I think it was daring – old car, before mobile phones, no RAC cover, the list is endless – an empty, dark M6, so that dates it nearly fifty years ago, feeling scared listening to Pink Floyd’s Meddle and turning the cassette off in fear. My fear should have been the possibility of car failure and being alone. I wouldn’t chance anything like that now. I only drive if I have to and I keep off motorways.

Our five year old grandson likes to play Snakes and Ladders. He’s just about stopped throwing himself down on the floor with a whingy whine if the big snake gets him. He is teaching himself various methods of rolling the dice, usually from a shaker, to determine what number he gets. It’s useless, of course, he can’t program the dice, but I have caught him flicking it over, the little monkey.

Roll the Dice

If you're going to try, go all the way

otherwise, don't even start.

If you're going to try, go all the way,

this could mean losing girlfriends,

wives, relatives, jobs and

maybe your mind.

Go all the way

it could mean not eating for 3 or 4 days.

it could mean freezing on a 

park bench.

it could mean jail,

it could mean derision,

mockery.

isolation.

Isolation is the gift,

all the others are a test of your

endurance, of

how much you really want to

do it

and you'll do it

despite rejection and the worst odds

and it will be better than

anything else

you can imagine.

If you're going to try

go all the way

there is no other feeling like

that

you will be alone with the gods

and the nights will flame with

fire

do it, do it, do it,

do it

all the way

all the way

you will ride life straight to

perfect laughter, it's

the only good fight

there is

Charles Bukowski  1920 - 1994

Thanks for reading, keep safe, Pam x

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Is this your pen?

It seems unfair for me to argue that pens are mightier than swords.  In quoting a slightly ridiculous phrase that's sullying click-bait articles across the internet at the moment, I think I need to 'check my privilege'.  Sure, I could argue that swords destroy life but it takes a pen to write a peace treaty.  I could refer to the limited damage which one sword can inflict compared to the thousands of minds which carefully chosen words can affect.  But honestly, who uses swords anymore? 

I know almost nothing about swords.  In my mind they are equated with pointy things that fall from the ceiling, a story about a boy who succeeded in life by hanging around with an old man and tugging on any stiff protrusions he happened upon, and the thing that Buffy used to kill Angel in an episode of Buffy which I'm told wasn't as sad as the one in which her mum died (I still contend that the first is more tragic because she had to kill her lover and stare into his eyes as he woke up from his murdery face wondering why she'd hurt him).

Presumably, if I were in a combat situation, and assuming I had the first clue about swordsmanship, I would be somewhat disheartened to find a Bic in my sheath.  Obviously Joe Pesci is the exception to this scenario.  Mafia psychopaths aside, swords were quite useful on the 16th century battlefield. They are somewhat overshadowed by the emergence of drones, but then my clean pants are somewhat overshadowed by drones.  Drones are the stuff of nightmares.

Without entering into the debate on whether pens are still necessary in the age of the iPad, the statement 'the keyboard is mightier than the drone' is a more fitting modern equivalent.  Both have an element of detachment and both are capable of remote harm which can dispense with the ickiness of facing those whom we insult/murder.  Words entered on a keyboard might have the illusion of power but do they have a real effect? 

Words fly across the internet and reveal the damage which the drones inflict.  We might enter horrified comments below an article.  Meanwhile, the drones continue on their cowardly missions, controlled, no doubt, by keyboard commands.  This leads me to surmise that it's not about pens or keyboards and it's not about swords or drones.  It's about inclination and humanity.  It's about that pernicious little comparative: mightier. 

Might is equivalent to power.  Power suggests imbalance.  It means winning more, having more, knowing more than the other side.  Power is wealth.  It's land, cars, trophies - in some places this includes women.  Power, as we know, corrupts. Power always diminishes the 'other'. 

Like I said, I don't really know about swords but I do know how to use a pen.  My pen is an extension of my thoughts, and capable of creating a window into my mind.  I want to use it to show you the discoveries I make, not mean observations and judgements.  Occasionally I'll slip up because I'm human.  Fortunately, as I'm not Joe Pesci, this almost certainly won't result in a fatality.

On a completely unrelated topic, the image at the top is the original Cheetara from Thundercats.  I caught an episode of the new series this week.  The image below is the new Cheetara.  Isn't it a relief that she's finally had the breast implants?  I used to worry about her ability to fight Mumm-Ra with those average-sized boobs but now she can distract him easily in combat.  Thanks for the sensitive alteration animators!

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