Charm

Preamble: With royalty commanding so much media attention recently, I thought I'd write my Saturday blog about Henry VIII, considered back in Tudor times to be a man of great charm, certainly in his younger days, and a bit of a favourite. You may draw some oblique historical parallels if you wish. Henry was also believed to be possessed of 'thaumaturgic' powers, (that's my word of the week), the ability to heal the sick by the laying on of hands, a demonstration of his divinity known as the 'royal touch '. But to begin at the beginning...

Part One (Up): Prince Henry, as he was formerly known, was born at the Palace of the Placenta in Greenwich village in 1491, although his mother was not American. (President Trump was wrong about that one.) Henry never expected to be king, because he had an elder brother Arthur. So his upbringing was entitled and carefree. Henry was tutored by Ladies and became versed in the arts, music and poetry, though he was also a good horse-rider and fluent in French and Latin and Particle Physics.

Unfortunately for Henry, brother Arthur went and died when he was fifteen and Henry was only ten. Henry's dad, the King, then wanted young Henry to marry Arthur's widow, Catherine the Arrogant, but Henry refused because he was still a lad and having a good time, though smoking hadn't been invented yet.

Henry VIII as a charming young man with healing hands (circa 1509)

Part Two (Down): When his dad, the King, eventually died, young Henry was obliged to ascend to the throne of England, aged just seventeen. The nation (i.e. London, some things never change) took him to their hearts, delighted by this charming and charismatic young monarch, tired as they had become of his grumpy old papa. There was much merriment and partying and Henry's new single 'Greensleeves' was number one for weeks. 

His closet advisor, Wolsey, urged the young king to prove himself a man by marrying Catherine the Arrogant anyway, as she was available, road tested and still only twenty-three. The next day Henry said to his courtiers "Gentlemen, last night I was in Spain." Charming.

Disclaimer: By the way, everything I'm telling you I've gleaned from Sir Mandeville de Karma*, the leading historical scholar and TV presenter who has written tomes about the life and reign of this most famous Tudor king, including two blockbuster best-sellers, 'The Disillusion of the Monsters' and 'The Sex Lives of Henry VIII '. The latter has been turned into a six-part Netflix mini-series starring Quark Phoenix as Henry the charmer and Sir Mandeville's own youngest daughter Lemony de Karma as all six of Henry's wives. Rotten Tomatoes website has described the series as 'a tour de farce '. 

Interlude: Greensleeves as performed by another Baleine girl, Karliene. (Click on the song title to fire up the YouTube rendition.)

Part Three (Charm): Meanwhile, young King Henry's closet advisor, the weasley Wolsey, set up his own hosiery company and used the profits to build a magnificent house on the banks of the Thames at Richmond, where he entertained the rich and powerful of the time. Henry was a frequent visitor and used to enjoy the company there of several very young ladies, away from the prying eyes of his Queen. These included one or both of the sisters of the Duke of Buckingham, Anne and Elizbeth Stafford, in addition to courtiers Elizabeth Carew, only 15 at the time, and Elizabeth Blount, who was 17 when she fathered Henry's bastard son, Henry Fitzroy. Apparently Catherine the Arrogant didn't mind the affairs so much as the fact that Henry now had the son (albeit illegitimate) she had been unable to provide for him.

Part Four (Strange): Given that failure of his wife to produce a male heir, he decided to divorce her and marry somebody else he'd been having a whale of a time with, 15 year old Mary Baleine. Apparently she too bore him a child, but later when his divorce from Catherine was eventually resolved, he'd taken a shine instead to Mary's sister Anne Baleine. Catherine and Henry being Catholics (as everybody was at that point in history), the Pope refused to grant their divorce. So Henry ousted Wolsey and seized Hampton Court for himself. The first thing he did was add on a magnificent ballroom. He also appointed Thomas Cromwell as his new top advisor. 

Cromwell's top advice was for Henry to break with Rome, the obstructive Pope and the idolatrous Catholic church, and to create the Church of England with himself by Divine Right of Kings as its earthly head and Defender of the Faith, so that he could divorce Catherine and marry Anne of a Thousand Days, at the end of which time he had her head chopped off because a) she too failed to bear him a son, b) she was adulterous, c) she laughed at him in bed.

Henry VIII exercising his divine rights

Part Five (Top): Never mind, transparent Henry already had Jane Seemore, one of Anne's ladies in waiting, in the wings ready to be wife number three. She certainly showed him. Jane finally produced the legitimate son and heir Henry had been longing for. There were more celebrations throughout the land (well, In London at least) but sadly Jane died within weeks of the birth, citing post-natal complications, an honourable way out for her. She was rather old, after all, nearly 30. At least young Edward would continue the Tudor dynasty in due course.

Part Six (Bottom): Not wishing to be a widower and having grown somewhat lardy and lecherous in his middle age, Henry was persuaded to make a diplomatic marriage of Allianz to some hot continental totty, Anne of Cloves. The theory was she would keep him sweet in bed, be good for his toothache and help prevent an invasion of the country by dodgy foreigners. It was the first time he'd wedded someone he hadn't bedded first - big mistake. He decided he didn't like her in that way and the marriage was annulled within months on the grounds of 'non-consummation'. She was allowed to keep her head, but Cromwell, whose last top advice it had been, lost his. Henry also made a generous financial settlement on Anne of Cloves who was henceforth known as 'the King's Beloved Sister'.

Henry's predilection was for much younger flesh and he was soon smitten by milky 17 year old Catherine Cowherd, whose father had secured her a place at court as lady-in-waiting to Anne of Cloves. Catherine was described in contemporary chronicles as "pretty and vivacious, small in stature but full of frame." She was a shoo-in as wife number five. Unfortunately Henry couldn't keep up and she took to dallying where the grass was greener. One can only imagine what her father felt like when his darling daughter was beheaded, aged just 19, on the grounds that she had committed adultery with her cousin. Such was the price of royal patronage.

Henry's last marriage was to the first woman in England to publish a work under her own name in her native language. In fact she wrote three books and had been involved in the education of two of Henry's children, Elizabeth and Edward, with whom she continued to enjoy a close relationship after their father's death. By this time he was no longer a charming man, and she outlived him. Catherine Parricide is remembered as the wife who survived the 'royal touch' relatively unscathed. She bore him no children, didn't get divorced or beheaded or otherwise 'deaded'. Henry was her third husband, and she even remarried after his death.

Postamble: You didn't think I'd let you go without a poem did you? Here's one by the charming man himself. 

Lusty Youth Should Us Ensue

Lusty Youth should us ensue,
His merry heart shall sure all rue.
For whatsoever they do him tell,
It is not for him, we know it well.

For they would have him his Liberty refrain
And all merry company for to disdain,
But I will not so whatsoever they say,
But follow his mind in all that we may.

How should Youth himself best use
But all disdainers for to refuse?
Youth has, as chief assurance,
Honest Mirth with Virtue's pastance.

For in them consisteth great honour,
Though that disdainers would therein put error,
For they do sue to get them grace
All only riches to purchase.

With Good Order, Counsel, and Equity,
Good Lord, grant us our mansion to be!
For without their good guidance
Youth should fall in great mischance.

For Youth is frail and prompt to do,
As well vices as virtues to ensue.
Wherefore by these he must be guided
And Virtue's pastance must be therein used.

Now unto God this prayer we make,
That this rude play may well be take,
And that we may our faults amend,
An bliss obtain at our last end.

                                     Henry VIII, King of England 1509-1547

 

Next week: 'Odes to Joy, Julia, Tracey and Virginia Cakes' by A. Battenburg-Windsor

*Sir Mandeville (aged 93.5) is Emeritus Professor of History at the University of Caracas in Venezuela. He is researching and writing his latest work, 'The Book of Moron ', about Donald J. Trump.

Thanks for reading, S ;-)

Read More

Hag Stone Charms

According to the dictionary, charm can mean a quality that makes you like or feel attracted to someone or something. For instance, “she was a woman of great charm” or “I don’t trust that easy charm of his”. A charm can also be deemed to have magical powers, to ward off evil spirits such as an amulet like a rabbit’s foot (not so lucky for the rabbit). Charms can also be imbued with supernatural powers and magic to protect the wearer.

Historically, charms can found way back in time in natural things such as rocks, stones or pebbles and these charms are to be found all over Britain. One such example of these is a hag stone or witch stone, fairy stone or holy (sacred) stone, and it is a small piece of rock/stone with a naturally occurring hole in it caused by water erosion whether by a river or the sea. The stone has also been rounded by the actions of water.

Image of a collection of Hag Stones

In folklore, hag stones are believed to possess potent protective powers. Their associations with witches and the supernatural stem from the belief that the hole in the stone acts as a portal, a window through which harmful magic or evil spirits can be warded off. Placing a hag stone above a doorway or tying it to a key ring was thought to prevent witches from entering the home or causing harm. Farmers would attach them to their barns to protect livestock, while sailors carried them for luck and safe passage across treacherous waters. The hag stone’s reputation as a talisman was widespread, and stories of its powers abound in local legends.

Image of Hag Stone as lucky charm to be placed over a house doorway

One of the most fascinating aspects of hag stones is their ability to reveal the unseen. Tradition holds that peering through the hole of a hag stone allows one to glimpse into the realm of fairies, spirits, or other supernatural beings. This belief is rooted in the idea that the hag stone’s aperture acts as a lens, transforming the ordinary landscape into a magical vista. The stone became a tool for divination and discovery, a bridge between worlds.

The name ‘hag stone’ itself is evocative, conjuring images of witches and wise women. In some traditions, these stones were said to offer protection against the ‘hag’—a term once used for witches or malevolent spirits. The adder stone, as it’s sometimes called, links the object to serpents and ancient Druidic practices. The intertwining of pagan rituals and later Christian beliefs ensured that hag stones retained their mystique, even as the nature of their magic was debated and reinterpreted.

Today, hag stones are often collected as souvenirs or displayed as decorative items. Beachcombers and enthusiasts delight in finding them, recognising their rarity and the folklore attached. The stones are sometimes incorporated into jewellery, hung in gardens, or placed on altars, maintaining a link to the ancient traditions and superstitions that once governed rural life.

Image of Hag Stone jewellery by John Smith

Hag stones are much more than mere rocks with holes. They are embodiments of cultural history, symbols of protection, and gateways to the imagination. Whether seen as magical artefacts or geological curiosities, their presence on a beach or in a collection speaks to a deep human desire to find meaning and mystery in the world around us. To discover a hag stone is to stumble upon a story, one that stretches across time and continues to enchant those who seek the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Hag Stones

Ambling along the beach
absent minded yet looking
for clues

in amongst the driftwood
and sea holly there
you were

unassuming, not shouting your
presence despite the wind,
rain, sea’s restless churning

the world can be traced with
your eye, protection descends
from celestial power

ancient reminder of time’s
endless line and an echo
reframing the past.

Dermot.

Read More

Charm

I’ve always been fascinated by the following as explained by the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN):

All matter around us is made of elementary particles, the building blocks of matter. These particles occur in two basic types called quarks and leptons. Each group consists of six particles, which are related in pairs, or ‘generations’. The lightest and most stable particles make up the first generation, whereas the heavier and less-stable particles belong to the second and third generations.

All stable matter in the universe is made from particles that belong to the first generation; any heavier particles quickly decay to more stable ones. The six quarks are paired in three generations – the ‘up quark’ and the ‘down quark’ form the first generation, followed by the ‘charm quark’ and ‘strange quark’, then the ‘top quark’ and ‘bottom (or beauty) quark’.

Quarks also come in three different ‘colours’ and only mix in such ways as to form colourless objects. The six leptons are similarly arranged in three generations – the “electron” and the “electron neutrino”, the “muon” and the “muon neutrino”, and the “tau” and the “tau neutrino”. The electron, the muon and the tau all have an electric charge and a sizeable mass, whereas the neutrinos are electrically neutral and have very little mass.

The best understanding of how these particles and three of the forces are related to each other is encapsulated in the Standard Model of particle physics but I’m not going down that path. Let’s stick with quarks. Why Quark?

In the early 1960s, American physicist Murray Gell-Man came up with the word quork, which he used to refer to his concept of an elementary particle smaller than a proton or neutron (by his own account he was in the habit of using names like ‘squeak’ and ‘squork’ for peculiar objects). He later settled on the spelling quark after reading a line from James Joyce’s Finnegans Wake: “Three quarks for Muster Mark!” This name was chosen because it was originally theorized that all of composite matter was built from 3 quarks.

In 1970, physicists Sheldon L. Glashow, John Iliopoulos and Luciano Maiani proposed a fourth quark, serving as a counterpart to the strange quark much like top and bottom. And so, on by what most accounts call a whim, they named it the charm quark. The first charmed particles were observed in 1974.

I have no idea what the following means:

‘It is known as the Glashow–Iliopoulos–Maiani (GIM) mechanism through which flavour-changing neutral currents (FCNCs) are suppressed in loop diagrams. It also explains why weak interactions that change strangeness by 2 (ΔS = 2 transitions) are suppressed, while those that change strangeness by 1 (ΔS = 1 transitions) are allowed, but only in charged current interactions.’

Glashow said the name was because of the “symmetry it brought to the subnuclear world”, balancing the number of known quarks and leptons. He also associated charms with warding off evil. The charm quark prevented particle decays predicted by the three-quark theory, which can look evil to a particle physicist when the timing is bad enough.

I remember starting Finnegans Wake years ago but giving up after a few pages.

from Finnegans Wake by James Joyce

Three quarks for Muster Mark!
Sure he hasn't got much of a bark
And sure any he has it's all beside the mark.
But O, Wreneagle Almighty, wouldn't un be a sky of a lark
To see that old buzzard whooping about for uns shirt in the dark
And he hunting round for uns speckled trousers around by Palmer-stown Park?
Hohohoho, moulty Mark!
You're the rummest old rooster ever flopped out of a Noah's ark
And you think you're cock of the wark.
Fowls, up! Tristy's the spry young spark
That'll tread her and wed her and bed her and red her
Without ever winking the tail of a feather
And that's how that chap's going to make his money and mark!

Thanks for reading, Terry Q.

Read More

Charm - In Search of Charm

‘In Search of Charm’ by Mary Young. This book should have been returned to Palatine Secondary School library in 1970. Oops, my mistake, but now that I’ve dug it out from one of my many bookcases, I think I’ll read it again and see how the world has changed fifty odd years on. At school, we were encouraged to walk properly upright, shoulders back, no slouching. Deportment included doing this carrying a book on our heads. This was the sort of thing covered in the book. I remember learning the correct way to open and close a door when entering or exiting a room. I also remember that it was considered acceptable to smoke on a train, but not on a bus, and certainly not outside on the street. This was all aimed at girls becoming ladies. I’ve no idea what the boys did, if anything. They continued to charge about like apes.

I was an impressionable fifteen year old in 1970. I idolised Twiggy, though all I had in common with her was incredibly skinny legs and an eye for fashion. I didn’t have her gorgeous face, still don’t. I was a young lady, behaving mostly in a lady-like manner. I loved my trips to stay with family in London which would always include a visit to Carnaby Street where I would look for something delicate and floaty to wear. And beads, they were my signature accessory.

It’s obvious to me now, as a mature, hopefully lady-like woman, that I grew up in a time when girls were being trained, if that’s the right description, to become good wives. My aunt told me that the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. I get by, but I’m not the Cordon Bleu that she once was. Luckily, I married a man who is an excellent cook and perfectly capable of making a delicious meal. Presenting ourselves as easy on the eye by looking nicely groomed was important, too. Um, for self-esteem, first.

A friend of my mother’s had a fascinating charm bracelet that gave me such joy to look at. It was gold and stuffed with many charms. Something had a folded ten-shilling note inside, something else a pound note. I’d never remember it all, but I loved looking at it and finding things I’d previously missed. It must have been worth a small fortune and it must have been really heavy. Just something that has stuck in my memory.

I expect that re-reading ‘In Search of Charm’ will fill me with horror. Women are equal. We can come out of the kitchen. I had my own mortgage when I was single.

I chose this poem because I liked it.  

The Charm

Thrice toss these oaken ashes in the air,
Thrice sit thou mute in this enchanted chair,
Then thrice three times tie up this true love’s knot,
And murmur soft ‘She will, or she will not.’
Go burn these pois’nous weeds in yon blue fire,
These screech-owl’s feathers and this prickling briar,
This cypress gathered at a dead man’s grave,
That all my fears and cares an end may have.
Then come, you fairies! Dance with me a round;
Melt her hard heart with your melodious sound.
In vain are all the charms I can devise:
She hath an art to break them with her eyes.

Thomas Campion (1567 – 1620)

Thanks for reading, Pam x

Read More