written and posted by members of Lancashire Dead Good Poets' Society

Showing posts with label Vampires. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vampires. Show all posts

Thursday, 9 March 2023

Shape shifters

Our myths and legends are filled with tales of shape-shifting, fantastical creatures, from vampires who change into bats and hunan beings who morph into werewolves under the influence of a full moon.  Naturally, most shape-shifting creatures are pure fiction, however, I recently encountered twelve in an ordinary setting.  



Shape-shifters

Twelve of them walk into the room
fuss around boxes
assemble workspaces.
I am seated, draped
on a chez long as they
circle around me poised to strike.

The small silver haired man
shape-shifts into a hawk
perched on the back of a chair.
His steely eyes meet mine
then his intense stare
scans my legs, my hands.

The secretary bird
peers around her easel
measuring me up with a ruler
first vertical, then horizonal.

The big black bear
is a little too close
he growls and sighs
his hot breath brushing my skin.

The crane stands side on
and struts her left eye droops
half closed.

The elephant in the room
stands at the back
rooting in a plastic bag.

A badger scrapes among
her pastels taking time
to settle until she finds
the perfect tone.

The jackdaw sees
in monochrome
the peacock in colour.

The fox holds up a pencil
then disappears behind his screen
finally dipping his brush
into paint.

I sit, scrutinized stalked by
these creatures.

After a while the elephant
leaves the room.

Then when time is up
the others shape shift
back into human form
put on coats
then depart clutching
their portraits of me.

Thank you for reading. Adele

Wednesday, 2 November 2022

Monsters

In this bi-centenary year of the great Romantic poet Percy Bysshe Shelley, (1792-1822), let’s kick off this subject with that most famous of monsters; that created by Victor Frankenstein in the novel Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, the poet’s wife.

Penned in the summer of 1816, while the couple were guests of George Gordon, Lord Byron, this science fiction masterpiece tells the story of how an ambitious scientist creates a living creature from the limbs and parts of other dead people. The results are tragic, leading to the deaths of innocent people, the arrogant creator’s downfall and self-destruction of his creation. Byron, the writing workshop leader at his villa, commented to his publisher John Murray on 15th May 1819, p203, Byron Letters: “Methinks it is a wonderful work for a girl of nineteen – not nineteen indeed, at that time.”


Still in print two hundred years later, an achievement indeed for both author and workshop leader, Frankenstein is now on school literature syllabuses, or in literature exams and has been turned into numerous play adaptations, animation, comic strip books and films. By coincidence, I attended an online play reading last Halloween weekend of Frankenstein, a bold new work with a feminist slant, showing the work still has contemporary importance in our IT environment and social media world.

Nowadays, the monster is a favourite character for fancy dress parties. His image is also found on T-shirts, lollies or candy bars and even in cake form. Portrayed as green, the creature in the novel is grey. Rejected in this story because of his grotesque appearance, he ends up friendless and alone. Nowadays, we love him!

In the Rocky Horror Show, Frankenfurter, played by Tim Curry, is an obvious reference to Shelley’s creation, and a much sought-after role to sing along with. It is said that the iconic rock star Mick Jagger wanted to play this role and he certainly could have done! Firmly ingrained in our culture now, we can say he is one of us. He has been on a journey!

As a child, I thought the best monster was the Living Mummy. They are great! Popular characters in the 1970s because of the recent Tutankhamen exhibition in London, which reminded the world of the great discovery of British archaeologist Howard Carter in 1922 of the boy king’s tomb, which gave an unparalleled insight into ancient Egypt,

I became aware, as a youngster, of a superstition that was often written about in 1970s publications by writers who liked to encourage belief in the supernatural. Often referred to as the Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb, the public were told that no-one should open the coffins of the dead, otherwise the dead king’s ghost would come to get you. Stories abounded about the deaths of people who had dared to disturb the sacred land of the dead and how the king had claimed his revenge. Images emerged in comic strips, books and animation of a ghastly, supernatural undead creature dressed in bandages, chasing human prey, its hands held out. I remember watching an episode of Scooby Doo with just such a scene, absolutely enchanted.


There is, actually, a grain of truth in the superstition about the dead king’s ghost, which has a basis in scientific fact. People have died after opening the tombs of Egyptian kings because of diseases that existed in the ancient world that have since been eradicated, and which were present in the tomb. Bacteria in the coffin has increased over the intervening thousands of years. People living in a later age have caught an illness to which they have had no resistance, which existed on the dead king. Interesting, isn’t it?

Of course, short stories, comic strips and films have sprung up about this monster, along with documentaries about Carter and his enterprise. Who remembers The Mummy with Harrison Ford and Rachel Weiss? Wasn’t it a great pot-boiler?

The next monster in the line-up is simply a howl. You’ve guessed it – the werewolf. The subject of folklore, saga, legend, fairy tales, Gothic and horror fiction, fantasy fiction, poetry, comic strips, short story and film, this creature is a person in the normal course of day-to-day life who, on the night of a full moon, turns into a wolf. A curse is usually involved, or a bite from another werewolf.

First appearing in ancient Greek literature, the concept of this creature developed in the medieval age and many communities believed in the condition of lycanthropy.

This had disastrous consequences for a farmer from Cologne, Peter Stumpp, (1533-1589), who is known as The Werewolf of Bedburg. Under torture on the rack, he confessed to having received a belt from the Devil that facilitated him turning into a wolf. A search was ordered for this belt as evidence, which, needless to say, was never found. Herr Stumpp nevertheless, was executed on the wheel, his limbs broken and then he was beheaded, while his mistress and his daughter were strangled and burned. Who were the monsters here?


Such a creature is a gift to the film industry. The first film was Werewolf in London, in 1935, followed by the hit The Wolf Man in 1941 staring the great horror actor Lon Chaney. Does anyone remember him?

I remember An American Werewolf in London, with Jenny Agutter, in 1981, now a cult classic. The metamorphosis into a wolf was a tour-de-force of cinema for its time and the film won many awards. 

Anyone who wants to seek out fiction about werewolves should look up Fritz Leiber, H P Lovecraft and the English Saki. The latter’s Gabriel Ernest is sure to send a chill down the spine, while sacrificing none of the tongue-in-cheek trademark sardonic humour.

We now come to the ghoul, to the Western world, a creature who robs graves and devours corpses. Originating from pre-Islamic Arabian culture, it was, to them, a monster that dwelt in the desert or isolated places and lured hapless travellers astray. They were often hyena shaped, with hooves of a donkey. It was only when Orientalist scholar Antoine Galland translated the twelve to fourteen volumes of The Arabian Nights between 1704 and 1717 that these monsters took root in Western culture.

We must recall the old Scottish prayer,

“From ghoulies, ghosties and long leggety beasties
And things that go bump in the night
May the good Lord deliver us!”

By the twentieth century, ghouls were still hot property with the promise of box office success to theatres and cinemas and a cracking opportunity for the visual. The first film with this protagonist was The Ghoul, in 1933, starring Boris Karloff. Its success is indicated by the follow-up horror comedy which followed, What a Carve Up! produced in 1961 with Sid James.

To this day, happily undead and kicking, ghouls have maintained their importance in the cinema and theatre industry. They are part of the English Harry Potter franchise and the American Creepshow franchise written by Stephen King and George C Romero. A ghoul is the Weasley family’s beloved pet, while King and Romero creations cause shocks and shivers in their eager audience.

In Japan, the play, Tokyo Ghoul has extended into gaming, with A New Tokyo Ghoul coming out in this year 2022.

Finally, we come to the Vampire. The catalyst for making them central to spook culture, as we all know, is due to the novel Dracula by the Victorian theatre manager Bram Stoker, published in 1897. These guys turn into bats, hate garlic, make other people vampires by biting their neck and only die when struck through the heart by a stake. They follow a pattern of other monster creation over time and are now regarded as fodder for comedy rather than fear or tragedy and more inspiration for the food industry. An example are the snacks called fangs. There are also many chocolates, cakes, biscuits and candy around vampires, expressing a focus on consumer enjoyment of these cultural icons. In films nowadays, lots of vampires are young, becoming associated with the concept of eternal life rather than death and morbidity. The comedy horror film that has been re-produced titled The Lost Boys, is but one example of this youth-based genre.

As I mentioned the famous Byron at the beginning of my blog, it’s worth mentioning a story I heard about the actor Christopher Plummer, who suffered due to his screen image, but with far less disastrous consequences for himself than poor old Peter Stumpp. His car broke down while on holiday in France. He made his way to a French farmhouse to ask for help. The person who opened the door cried out, “Oh, mon Dieu, c’est lui!” (“Oh, my God, it’s him!”) The actor was left saying “Aidez moi, aidez moi!” (“Help me, help me!”)  I take no responsibility for its veracity but it’s a good story and another quote!


All these familiar monsters in this blog have become an expected part of the festivity of Halloween. Now, freed from the world of superstition, let’s celebrate monsters. They are entertaining, wonderful fodder for the imagination of succeeding generations and mean chill-out, laugh and groove away. Dine out on your hot blood soup, (tomato soup with roasted beetroot added), eyeball jellies, (lychees filled with blackcurrants covered with lemon jelly) and graveyard cake * paired with mulled wine and cinnamon or bloody Marys. Monsters are fun!

*For graveyard cake, make a simple chocolate cake from two sponge cakes with hot chocolate added to the regular ingredients, add chocolate buttercream or Nutella as a filling between the two sponges and add chocolate icing on top. Then cement chocolate malted milk biscuits to lolly sticks with royal icing and pipe RIP in icing on the biscuits, then stick them in the cake.

I am going to end with the words of my song The Vampire Boogie. The arranger is M. Jean Thibert.

Come and funk with the Vampire dudes now,
Come and join us up here and we’ll show you how.
Forward, back and turn around, now move the hips and click the fingers
Now jump way up high
Right, left, right left, boogie in the skies
Now raise your arms up
Shake your bod and start again
To chill out good in the Vampire’s food hall
It's the Vampire’s ball!

Chorus:

Lah, Tee Doh Re Mi Fi See Lah
Soh Fah Mi Ray Doh Tee Lah.

Verse 2:
Come, tuck into the vampires’ feast here,
Sup the black bat soup and taste the witches’ beer.
Eyeball pasty, dead-rat jellies
That’s the fare this starry night
But you must buy a graveyard pud
(Background voices: With real soil from the graveyard!)
Munch and crunch while grooving till the dawn.
That’s when the vampires’ have to go to sleepy-bye
So chill out good in the vampire’s food hall
At dawn, you’ll have to go!

The words for the chorus are an opportunity to teach your child/grandchild/nephew etc the words of the melodic minor scale. As they sing it, they move across the room stamping, being a grumpy ghoul. Then, when they reach Lah, they turn into a vampire and step to each word with their arms wide out. Have fun!

Anne

Tuesday, 1 November 2022

Monsters - Hallowe'en

 


They arrived in small groups or just pairs. We heard the giggles and the shuffling before the knock on the door sent us hurrying into the hall. We were ready. I was, as always once a year, the witchiest witch and this time I had the pale faced Wednesday Addams helping for a little while until it was time for her to join the others outside.  Our first visitors, Harry Potter with his friend, Hermione, had escaped Hogwarts to come scavenging and helped themselves from my cauldron of appealing sweets and chocolate.  Scary monsters and super-creeps (sing) turned up in day-glo and luminescent colours, all looking wonderful – some people have amazing artistic skills and come into their own at Hallowe’en. I always do my best to get into the swing of it. Years ago I worked at our local infant school and all the children and some parents knew me. I didn’t recognise them as ghosts, vampires and spooks, but they knew me well and laughed at my witch alter-ego. Now they bring their own children to knock on my door. I’m obviously older than I thought. Not all of our visitors looked like monsters. A group of very well dressed young men, aged around nine or ten hoped I was having a pleasant evening as they took items from the cauldron. Their grown-ups waited at the end of the drive. The boys were amused at me being dressed up.

“I’m a witch, you should be scared!”

“Nothing scares us, we’re Peaky Blinders.”

Well, that was me told. Fighting to keep my face straight, I returned to my witch duties indoors. They surely weren’t old enough to watch Peaky Blinders? They certainly looked the part, though, and no, they didn’t scare me. I would have turned them into frogs, or something.  The grandchildren came back with their tubs nearly overflowing. I tried to cadge a few bits, but no-one was sharing – poor Nanna. Before they went home I had my usual moan about lollipops being dangerous things - I bin them out of sweets multipacks - and I made my usual speech about brushing teeth properly to keep their mouths healthy and Peggy, the tooth fairy happy. Hallowe’en is done for another year. By eight o’clock my cauldron was empty so the pumpkin fairy lights were switched off and removed from the front window, real pumpkins rescued from the rain and I swapped my witch clothes for comfy pyjamas.

The scariest monsters are the demons that live within us. Actual people who caused trouble, problems or any form of upset that we can’t shake off. The monster isn’t there all the time, perhaps, but lurking in the background ready to pounce when spirits are low, we feel tired, or it’s the middle of the night when our worries are magnified. They might bite now and again, but don’t let them win.

Let’s stay upbeat with  Roger McGough and Dr JCC,


First Day at School

A millionbillionwillion miles from home
Waiting for the bell to go. (To go where?)
Why are they all so big, other children?
So noisy? So much at home they
Must have been born in uniform
Lived all their lives in playgrounds
Spent the years inventing games
That don't let me in. Games
That are rough, that swallow you up.

And the railings.
All around, the railings.
Are they to keep out wolves and monsters?
Things that carry off and eat children?
Things you don't take sweets from?
Perhaps they're to stop us getting out
Running away from the lessins. Lessin.
What does a lessin look like?
Sounds small and slimy.
They keep them in the glassrooms.
Whole rooms made out of glass. Imagine.

I wish I could remember my name
Mummy said it would come in useful.
Like wellies. When there's puddles.
Yellowwellies. I wish she was here.
I think my name is sewn on somewhere
Perhaps the teacher will read it for me.
Tea-cher. The one who makes the tea.

Roger McGough


I Married a Monster from Outer Space

The milky way she walks around
All feet firmly off the ground
Two worlds collide, two worlds collide
Here comes the future bride
Gimme a lift to the lunar base
I wanna marry a monster from outer space

I fell in love with an alien being
Whose skin was jelly – whose teeth were green
She had the big bug eyes and the death-ray glare
Feet like water wings – purple hair
I was over the moon – I asked her back to my place
Then I married the monster – from outer space

The days were numbered – the nights were spent
In a rent free furnished oxygen tent
When a cyborg chef served up moon beams
Done super rapid on a laser beam
I needed nutrition to keep up the pace
When I married the monster from outer space

We walked out – tentacle in hand
You could sense that the earthlings would not understand
They’d go.. nudge nudge …when we got off the bus
Saying it’s extra-terrestial – not like us
And it’s bad enough with another race
But fuck me… a monster …from outer space

In a cybernetic fit of rage
She pissed off to another age
She lives in 1999
With her new boyfriend – a blob of slime
Each time I see her translucent face
I remember the monster from outer space

Dr John Cooper Clarke


Thanks for reading, Pam x

Tuesday, 17 July 2018

Mask - Take Them Away


Masks are scary. I don’t like them at all, not even when they are meant to be fun like the ones of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Gareth Southgate and more recently, Donald Trump. I just find them sinister and I expect it stems from my childhood.

My father’s brother worked in Nigeria for a few years, late 1940s and early 1950s. Our family had lots of African bits and pieces he had brought on visits. Most of it is lost now but my sister still has a pair of beautiful occasional tables. One of the items thankfully lost, is a large, wooden Nigerian mask which was a gift to my father. It was plain, just black with eye holes and no decoration.  My father hung it on the office wall of which ever pub we were living in, probably because my mother wouldn’t have it anywhere else. It was horrible and scared the living daylights out of me. There was another one, almost the same and just as frightening, on my uncle’s bedroom wall at my grandparent’s house. In Africa they have a purpose. Masks are worn, or were once worn in certain rituals and they had a meaning. They weren’t made for décor. Some are quite ornate and more fierce looking than others, depending on what spirits they were designed to fight off.

The ‘Scream’ mask terrified me when I saw the film, but not as much as the V for Vendetta which is too creepy. The worst, by far is Hannibal Lecter’s lower face mask in The Silence of the Lambs. Although it looks nothing like our Nigerian one, something fearful reminds me of it.

Hallowe’en usually brings a constant stream of small vampires, witches and ghosts to my door. Last October there was a new trend of scary clowns like Stephen King’s ‘It’, wearing masks of the character. Ugh!

And the nips and tucks on real faces, trusting a surgeon with an extra-fine, extra-sharp scalpel. So many face-lifts end up looking like a mask. Too much Botox gives a startled, unchangeable expression. Sometimes, when I glance in the mirror and see the reflection of a much older woman, it is more frightening than all of these horrid masks. I can’t possibly have earned so many facial creases, not yet. I’ll learn to embrace these ‘over 60s’ dips and folds. For me, surgery is for a life or death situation.

I found these two poems, Dylan Thomas, making me wish I had a mask to hide behind sometimes, and Sylvia Plath, another favourite.
 
O Make Me A Mask
by Dylan Thomas
 O make me a mask and a wall to shut from your spies
Of the sharp, enamelled eyes and the spectacled claws
Rape and rebellion in the nurseries of my face,
Gag of dumbstruck tree to block from bare enemies
The bayonet tongue in this undefended prayerpiece,
The present mouth, and the sweetly blown trumpet of lies,
Shaped in old armour and oak the countenance of a dunce
To shield the glistening brain and blunt the examiners,
And a tear-stained widower grief drooped from the lashes
To veil belladonna and let the dry eyes perceive
Others betray the lamenting lies of their losses
By the curve of the nude mouth or the laugh up the sleeve.
 
 
Face Lift
by Sylvia Plath
 You bring me good news from the clinic,
Whipping off your silk scarf, exhibiting the tight white
Mummy-cloths, smiling: I'm all right.

When I was nine, a lime-green anesthetist
Fed me banana-gas through a frog mask.
 The nauseous vault
Boomed with bad dreams and the Jovian voices of surgeons.

Then mother swam up, holding a tin basin.

O I was sick.

They've changed all that.
 Traveling
Nude as Cleopatra in my well-boiled hospital shift,
Fizzy with sedatives and unusually humorous,
I roll to an anteroom where a kind man
Fists my fingers for me.
 He makes me feel something precious
Is leaking from the finger-vents.
 At the count of two,
Darkness wipes me out like chalk on a blackboard.
 .
 .

I don't know a thing.

For five days I lie in secret,
Tapped like a cask, the years draining into my pillow.

Even my best friend thinks I'm in the country.

Skin doesn't have roots, it peels away easy as paper.

When I grin, the stitches tauten.
 I grow backward.
 I'm twenty,
Broody and in long skirts on my first husband's sofa, my fingers
Buried in the lambswool of the dead poodle;
I hadn't a cat yet.

 
Now she's done for, the dewlapped lady
I watched settle, line by line, in my mirror—
Old sock-face, sagged on a darning egg.

They've trapped her in some laboratory jar.

Let her die there, or wither incessantly for the next fifty years,
Nodding and rocking and fingering her thin hair.

Mother to myself, I wake swaddled in gauze,
Pink and smooth as a baby.
 
Thanks for reading, Pam x

Monday, 15 July 2013

Did you check under your bed?

Whether you believe in fairies or not, one should never take the chance. Because what if you're wrong? What if all those things are real? That as you sleep Trolls come and try to steal your breath, or monsters as big as your room come to feast on your eyes.

What if every nightmare you've ever had wasn't a dream, but just your way of remember what actually happen that night? Is it worth taking the chance? For five minutes of your life each night, is it worth risking your very soul?

Take heed of the lessons of old written in the texts of tales. Centuries have morphed them into children's stories, rhymes of amusement. Read them and remember their lessons, for these are not just fanciful yarns designed to induce imagined creatures dancing in the shadows of the fires light. These so called 'fairy tales' are a warning to anyone who will listen. 

As the night draws near and dusk begins to snuff out the days sun, remember to doubt what you think you know, take the safe option. 

Are your sure your windows and doors locked?  Are the draft cracks covered? and...

Did you check under your bed?

When you lie alone at night,
Just before your eye shut tight,
And the journey of your dreams takes flight.
Did you check under your bed?

Make sure the monsters aren't hiding there,
In-between boxes discarded without care,
Waiting to jump out to give you nightmares.
Did you check under your bed?

Using your torch the examine the corners,
For wee little beasties and nocturnal marauders,
Often found in the pages of horror authors.
Did you check under your bed?

That scratching sound is it a cat?
Or maybe a giant mutated rat?
Looking for a new habitat?
Did you check under your bed?

Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies and Demons,
Ghosts, Ghouls and creatures of legions,
You could be moments away from being eaten?

Always check under your bed!

Sunday, 11 March 2012

Four Candles

by Kevin Baskin

This will be the shortest entry in the dead good blog, you'll be pleased to know. Already I feel very much out of my league, but here goes...

Before I loved poetry, I loved comedy. I'm a 70's reject and most proud of that. I was brought up on a healthy (or unhealthy, as the case may be) diet of The Two Ronnies, Some Mothers Do 'Av 'Em, Benny Hill and so on, and so forth. It was, I believe, the golden age of comedy, before the do gooding b*****ds took them all off in order not to offend the minority groups... Good job guys, look where we are now.

But back to the point...

So humour is most important to me, and yes I do laugh at myself. If I don't, then who will? Sadly, most of my heroes are either dead or contemplating it. I still howl at the four candles sketch,the insurance against being Jewish, the Japanese man at the immigration desk that Benny did so well - 'You Iriot, why you not rissening'? - and of course the Germans at a certain hotel. Stan Laurel was an expert in this field. I love them all dearly.

So when I write it's only natural that I'll lean to them for guidance. My son inspires me greatly. When I write I don't think about DGPS, sorry guys, I think about my son,and what he'll like. My work has to reach him and tickle his funny bone. So I often find the shorter the better suits me more. I refer a lot to the dictionary looking for double meanings, similar sounding words etc.

I remember as a youngster being knocked down by 'Fuzzy Wuzzy' at first school (sadly we didn't have the blame and claim culture then, as we do now), and all that afternoon I recited it with almost pure joy. The seed was sown, though for another twenty five years it lay dormant. And as much as I love funny poetry, I love scary poetry that little bit more.

Well, that's my entry done (Ohh, Matron!). Thanks for reading - you can stop grinding your teeth now.

'You asked for four candles'.
'No...'Andles for forks!'

Rest in peace, Sir Ronnie...













Nightlife of a Vampire
Kevin Baskin

I am the dreaded vampire
I'm always having fun-
Though it's been at least two hundred years
Since I last saw the sun.
I'm always out at nightclubs,
I'm such a party beast.
On Saturday's I'm spoilt for choice,
There's such a lovely feast.
But once in every full blue moon
I'll have a little break.
I'll go into a restaurant
And order chips, but NOT the steak!