Answers - Who Am I?

Over the last few evenings I’ve been searching my ancestry for possible answers. I was able to confirm to another family member that the details he’d passed on to me of a young man killed in action during WW1 was one of us, but I couldn’t leave it there. My ancestors had massive families and there are many brothers and cousins likely to have been involved in the conflict.  It is on-going and taking me in many directions, enough to give me a headache and a fear of forgetting what my hand-written notes mean. And, to keep me on my toes, eldest sons are often named after their father.

With the use of websites I started to research my family tree in 2004 when I was housebound, recovering from illness.  It gave me something to focus on and took me on a fascinating journey of discovery. I’ve learnt a lot about my background through the lives of past generations.  I wish such information could have been so readily available thirty-plus years ago when my father was alive.

Dad knew very little about his mother’s family. My Nanna Hetty was orphaned when she was a baby. I’m still unsure if she was formally adopted or just taken in by the people who raised her, it was 1896, but I have found details of her birth family and obtained marriage and death certificates for her parents. I have the answers my father always wanted.

Up to now I’ve been able to track my ancestry back to around 1810, some of which is backed up with birth, marriage and death certificates and information from census records. I know who they were, where they lived, what they did and how they died. If only I could find out what their personalities were like or what made them tick.

 

I found this poem by Sandra Osborne:

Answers

How many souls
Have come and gone
Before me?

How many had
The same questions?
How many
Found the answers?

And if they found them,
Then why does my soul
Long for the reasons
For their deaths,
For their lives,
The reasons for mine.

And if I should find them,
Will I have the wisdom
To know them as answers,
Or will I lack the understanding,
And see them as questions.

 

 

Thanks for reading, Pam x

 

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Building Bridges

My history skills aren’t quite polished, so when I was given the theme of Building Bridges, my mind immediately jumped to the expression, the idea where two different people compromise to create something new. When I think of actual, physical bridges, I imagine structures which are valued on their flexibility. Some are stubborn, uncompromising and can withstand practically anything. Others, which you often see in chase scenes set in a jungle are less stable, more adventurous and the worst nightmare for those afraid of heights.

 

                                                                                                                                                 While two people can definitely reconcile and build a bridge between them, to me I normally see the term associated with larger collectives or organisations, working together to qualm a conflict in ideology. But as good as the idea is, you don’t really see it happen that often. When I was at university, there was a battle being waged between the chancellor and the rest of the academic staff. Now, instead of mutually working to build a bridge, the chancellor simply continued to raise her own wage while not really spending the university budget on issues that affected the wider community. And then after her damage had been done, she resigned. But this is an issue you’ll see in many places, in various academic institutions, in workplaces, politics (once a blue moon!) and in friendship groups.

                                                                                                                                                     
 The poem I include here today focuses on the bridges, but also on their effect on the people around them. The act of compromise between two otherwise different groups is something extraordinary in itself. But when you begin to apply its effects on the individuals around them, then imagining its scale becomes impossible. I hope the poem does the topic justice!

The Bridge

Two hands shake,

the fingers spin and weave a silky

wooden metal

A structure

that allows silhouettes to glide

across the water

A road in the sky

for the traffic jams to spread

through toasted heat like butter

A meeting spot

for birds to catch

the gentle wind and waves

And a shelter for the creatures

light had tucked away

Dean Tsang

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