written and posted by members of Lancashire Dead Good Poets' Society

Showing posts with label mothers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mothers. Show all posts

Saturday, 8 March 2014

Serendipity

A guest post by C J Heyworth.

Given that my mother was a widow who chose not to remarry after my father's death when I was seven in the Summer of 1953, I suppose her second important choice from my point of view was to work as a school dinner lady so as to "be there" for me when I was not at school, even though her pittance wages did not allow us a 'grand lifestyle" at all.

What I am grateful for is Mum's determination that I should never miss out on the extras organised by teachers at my primary and secondary schools - country days out to Garstang, Fairsnape, Parlick and Brock, and city trips to Lancaster, Manchester, Liverpool, York mainly related to the History syllabus.  Best of all (and I still do not know how it was afforded as light Summer clothes were needed for predicted higher daytime temperatures) a European tour which took us to London and Dover, by ferry to Calais and through Belgium, Germany, Austria and across The Brenner Pass to Riva at the northern tip of Lake Garda with day visits to Milan and Venice - a splendid introduction to matters European.

But the visits which had most lasting influence on me were the Fifth and Sixth Form trips each November to see the RSC perform at The Memorial Theatre, a lasting shaping of how I should choose many hours of life in enjoyment of theatre both as an audience member and a participant.

Attending the performance by the touring RSC Ensemble of an abridged Taming of the Shrew at The Grand revivified my memories of "back then". I'm sure the standards today insisted on by Tourist Boards such as Visit England and Stratford's own Accommodation Bureau would have made the sort of Wednesday to Saturday Coach Trip we took impossible for a school to organise today, mostly because of arrangements for sleeping in the guest house within walking distance of the theatre.

To keep costs to a minimum, each bedroom was shared by ten of us in double beds which completely occupied the floor-space in the room, there was one bathroom/toilet on each floor, and the two spinsters who ran the place were not brilliant cooks.  They also loved what my mother used to refer to as "dust-gatherers" - the Guest Lounge was crowded with all sorts of mainly wooden ornaments - "They do not break," explained one of who we referred to as Macbeth's Witches.  Being teenagers we labelled them as "immensely old".  They were probably in their late fifties at least!

I work this out as a couple of years after I had left Baines to become an undergraduate at Reading University, one of my best friends of the time, the late Bob Glass, explained that his parents, who ran a guest house on Lord Street near Blackpool North Station, had sold their place in Blackpool and moved to Stratford-upon-Avon having bought another guest house.  Bob was living in London, and I visited him there quite frequently, hitch-hiking from Reading, an easy matter.  In his generous way, Bob invited me to see his parents' new home in Stratford, and, lo and behold, which was the guest house they had bought ?

The one we used to stay in for our school trips, but modified to the high standard Mrs. Glass always insisted on - no more five beds to a room, and the target visitors were American Literary Junkies wanting what Visit England now calls Shakespeare Country.



Thursday, 22 August 2013

The Most Important Thing in the World

08:30:00 Posted by Damp incendiary device , , , , 4 comments
The most important thing in the world is to be kind.

This is the lesson my mother taught me.  She taught me lots of things, obviously, but this one vital idea was repeated many times over the years.  If this is your doctrine, you don't need other rules, because this covers most eventualities. 

Kindness is a modest proposal.  It requires understanding and empathy towards each other along with the extra effort of being helpful and generous. 

One of the stories of Enid Blyton which always stayed with me was The Girl Who Was Left Behind which appeared in her Stories for Bedtime book.  The tale involves a young girl who is on her way for a day out, with her school, at the beach.  She has been looking forward to the day out for some time.  On her way to catch the bus, she sees a boy fall off his bicycle.  Although she knows she will miss the bus, and her day out, she stops and helps the boy, walking him home to his mother who is so moved by the kindness that she takes the three of them for a day out by the sea in her car (cars were a big deal when this book was written). 

Personally, I know that I've missed many opportunities to be kind simply because I considered myself to be too busy.  It's an easy get out.  There are other excuses which go through my head when I see someone in need.  One of them is the idea that a person begging for money on the street can get help by going to a shelter or through the 'proper channels'.  And maybe they're not really destitute anyway.  Who can tell?

I've watched a neighbour's child run to school in the rain, even though I was driving in that direction, because I didn't want to make my own daughter late (I know - I'm a monster).  I even watched my neighbours stand outside in the evening while they waited for the gas company to check for a leak because my place was a mess and I was too embarrassed to ask them in (at least it wasn't raining this time).  So much for kindness.

Although I know I do kind things for people regularly, it's the instances when I could have helped and didn't that stick in my mind.  I feel ashamed that I didn't do that little bit.

Recently, I was walking with my daughter in the park.  We were tired and had our arms full of stuff.  A young girl ran up to a bin by the path and tried to put a bag of rubbish into the bin.  The bag split and rubbish fell all over the ground.  I felt sorry for the girl but was planning to carry on my way when my daughter turned to me and handed me her bags.  She ran over to the young girl and told her not to worry, that she would sort it out.  The young girl smiled and ran back to her family.  My daughter picked all the rubbish up and, as it wouldn't fit in the bin, put it back into the bag, re-tying it at the side so it wouldn't spill. 

Last week, this same daughter took part in the GISHWHES international scavenger hunt.  She co-operated with a group of 14 other girls from across the globe.  They did all sorts of crazy things to get points which included making a bikini out of tea bags, helping to break the Guinness World Record for hugs given in a week, covering my car in rubbish, hosting a traditional Japanese tea ceremony in a lift, making an origami crane in the rain, and posting a haiku about waiting in a bus stop. 

If you know how awkward teenagers can find social situations, you'll realise that to do all this meant going beyond their comfort zones.  Which makes me think that making myself late for work or feeling embarrassed isn't so bad compared to the opportunity to help someone in need or cheer someone up. 

Now I happen to know that the bloggers and readers of this blog are incredibly kind people.   My modest proposal is that we all go that little bit further this week and commit to an extra act of kindness.  If you'd like an idea, you can find plenty on the Random Act of Kindness website


Thursday, 18 October 2012

Memento Moribund

08:30:00 Posted by Damp incendiary device , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 comments
*Contains words which some people (probably not my friends and for reasons which I've never really understood) may find offensive*

Last week I killed a cat.  So my teenage daughter tells me.  I took a popular image of a grumpy cat and added some text.  It was a political comment.  It required a bit of thinking.  It wasn't funny.  Contemporary humour - I'm doing it wrong.  It's an age thing.

This week an old lady phoned my workplace and told me about the trouble she was having with her new phone.  You're thinking about the difficulty in adapting to the Android platform after using iOS arent you?  No - she was struggling with a new touchpad phone...On her landline (remember those?).  For her, this was a mammoth leap.  Not for her trending buzzwords or memes.  And not for me either it appears.  I don't have the necessary inclination, or youth, to keep up with that shit.  I only just figured out how to copy and paste on my tablet.  It took me 2 weeks.

And now, with a hop to the right, a shuffle backwards and an undignified lurch into a ditch, here are some vaguely comedic offerings which grew out of the awkward theme: Child's Play. 


Vicky's Very Helpful Guide to Register 
(or How to Paint Your Personality a Likeable Shade of Puce)

Describing Your Manager's Job Description

To your colleague: I accept that what she does could be described as challenging.
To your mother: It's child's play mum, seriously - even you could do it...Ow!  What was that for?
To your friend: What she does right, it's a fucking piece of piss...A piece...of...piss.


Declaring Your Sincere Gratitude

To your colleague: Ahhh.  You know what, you make a really great brew you do.
To your mother: What? I can't hear you.  Hang on a sec.  Right, what were you saying?  Oh yeah - thanks.
To your friend: Without you, I wouldn't even be here mate.  No, I mean it - you are a hero to me, a bloody hero - you know?  Hero...Like Gandalf or something.


Apologising

To your colleague: I might not have sent that e-mail after all but it really doesn't make much difference if you look at the big picture.
To your mother: Well if you'd said you wanted to leave at 11am, I'd have been here at 11am.  One of us must have got it wrong.
To your friend: No, no, it was me.  Don't you apologise - it's all me.  I'm a right moron.  Here, take my first born in compensation.


Asking a Favour

To a colleague: Ooh, that's going to be awkward....Oh no - I can't believe that's happened...Eek - what am I going to do now?....Ah, seeing as you asked...
To your mother: I'm taking the black dress with the slit up the back.  Remind me to bring it back will you?
To your friend: Right, I'm up the shitty river and I can't roll my sleeves up any further.  What have you got that's paddle-shaped and useful at S&M parties?


Responding to Political Controversy

To a colleague: I'm sure you're right - it'll be good to have a bit of a change.  After all, how much damage can they do in 5 years?
To your mother: I don't care if it was in the Daily Mail - it doesn't make it true in the real world.
To your friend: Cunts.  Creepy, cretinous, clownish cunts.  Huh?  Feminism?  OK...Cocks.  Creepy, cretinous, clownish cocks.