written and posted by members of Lancashire Dead Good Poets' Society

Showing posts with label writers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writers. Show all posts

Tuesday, 11 April 2017

Clerihews - Just For Laughs


With thanks to Edmund Clerihew Bentley for this form of light-hearted poetry. I hope my efforts here raise a smile. They may not stick exactly to his rules, but who cares? I had fun writing them and I’m happy to share them.
 

Remember Chuck Berry,
Sing and be merry,
Salute him as you know you should
By dancing all night to Johnny B Good.
 

Wordsmith James Joyce
An ‘A’ Level choice,
Dubliners short stories a welcome break
From my un-understanding of Ulysees or Finnegan’s Wake.

 
     Who’s got it in for Ken Barlow?
Do the writers even know?
I’ve followed Corrie for years on end
But this nonsense drives me round the bend.
 

Head girl, Theresa May
Always has a lot to say
And wears heavy jewellery round her neck
Like she’s weighed down by Tory policy, oh ‘eck.
 

Oh the talented Georgie Best,
He was oodles better than all the rest.
What a magician commanding the ball.
In a short career, he had it all.
 

Centre Court with Andy Murray
Confident stride well-timed, no hurry
On top of his game, his well-earned place
First serve in, a perfect ace.
 

Give me the work of Dr John Cooper Clarke,
The Bard of Salford from Higher Broughton Park.
He’s witty and clever and I just love all that
When I’m laughing out loud at the poem called ‘Twat’.
 

That darling, Robert Peston,
Has he got a vest on?
If I were single, there is no doubt
I’d make it my business to find out.

 
Thanks for reading. Keep smiling, Pam x

Thursday, 9 January 2014

Reading: The Next Generation

Like any aspiring poet I love books. Real books. The ones with spines and pages which discolour over time. The ones given as gifts with their personalised messages. The ones carrying signatures of the writers/poets I’ve met.

Within our tiny basement flat these books own a large percentage of the available space: crammed on bookcases, double stacked on shelves, piled on top of wardrobes and tucked into nooks. There are designated areas for poetry, fiction, art and the academic; hundreds of books decorating our home and filling it with words, imagination, knowledge, beauty and inspiration.

When I was little, after visiting a National Trust property, I dreamed of a house with a library, with bookcases so tall I’d require a ladder like Belle’s (from Beauty and the Beast) to reach the upper shelves. Despite neither of these things materialising the books did. They’ve accumulated in great numbers over the years, and I can chart some of the most significant times in my life by simply looking at the books around me. Therefore, the idea of storing away future markers inside a shiny electronic ‘book’ has never really appealed.

A few years ago when e-readers started to appear, and quickly became a must-have gadget for any avid reader, I stood strong. In fact I was almost Luddite in my thoughts towards them, refusing to own one and ranting that they could never substitute a proper book. However, I’ve finally relented and now find myself in the midst of books in 21st century format.

I wish I could say I absolutely hate my Kindle Fire, to say otherwise sort of feels like I’m cheating on the paperback. But I’ve (perhaps a little too speedily) fallen in love with this shiny rectangle. I can buy books without worrying about where to store them. I can read in the dark, and even change from white ‘paper’ to black ‘paper’. With just a single press on a word I can look up its dictionary definition, I can highlight without vandalising, make notes and store interesting quotes. I don’t need a makeshift Rizla bookmark because it remembers my page, and can even calculate my reading speed.

 I’m currently reading The Passage by Justin Cronin – in paperback form its 1008 pages means it has a 6cm spine and weighs over 700 grams, however, in e-book form this book’s difficult-to-hold size is reduced to the dimensions (186 X 128 X 9.0mm) and weight (303 grams) of my Kindle: so light and manageable I can hold it comfortably with one hand.

So, I guess you could say this traditional reader has been converted, but not completely…  I will never get rid of the books I currently own and I won’t stop purchasing real books; I’ve already vowed to only buy poetry in hardback and paperback form. And while the new way of reading has its advantages, the old way will always have its place - no amount of free e-books will ever fill me with the same excitement as a second-hand bookshop (however hard they are getting to find).

Thanking you for reading,

Lara

Monday, 6 May 2013

...or get off the pot


This week the theme is advice for aspiring writers

From all the books I have read about writing, all the people I have spoken to about writing and all the interviews I have read, listen to or watched with writers about the craft of writing, I have only two major piece of advice.

First,
Writers read,
You may not agree,
But I assure you this,
Reading is bliss.
And not just the stuff you adore,
That’s a bore.
Challenge yourself, be bold,
Let others work unfold.
For good and for bad,
Happy and sad,
In their words you will find,
Your own voice, but mind,
Careful not to copy,
That’s just sloppy.
But seeing is knowing,
Reading is sowing,
Your ideas will grow,
Words will flow.
And with the help of books,
Within your minds nooks,
The pieces will fit,
The plot you will knit,
And you know how and how not to,
Put the words down from inside of you,

Second,
Writers write,
Quite obvious right?
Yet still they use excuse,
Not produced,
Too happy, too sad,
You’re a writer, too bad.
You put the words out on paper,
Deal with them later.
But the writing is happening,
Not waiting for less apathy ,
Caught in a tsunami of procrastination,
You’re denying a nation,
Of entertainment and ideas,
Like a pair of frightened deer,
You first stand there, then run,
As if the laptop is a gun.
Just stop, take a mo,
Start typing, let it flow,
Get it out, let it play,
Come back to clean on another day.
Don’t say you “could have”, don’t say “you can’t”,
“I can” and “I have” should be your chant.
So sit at your desk and write something down,
Ideas are no good to anyone when you’re in the ground.

Philip Pullman writes 1000 words a day, five days a week. That means a first first draft of a standard novel of 50,000 words would take 50 days or ten weeks. And that’s the stuff from the heart, then you can start the editing process and make it into the book you want it to be. But at least it’s all there in front of you to work on.

Now go, write something.

Thursday, 2 August 2012

"The beginning is always today”

07:30:00 Posted by Damp incendiary device , , , , , , , 2 comments
"I hate clever women...they are only troublesome."  This is not a quote from my favourite writer.  These are the words of Henry Fuseli: artist, visionary and twunt.  He was also 'unhelpful crush #1' for Mary Wollstonecraft, author, feminist and lover of twunts.

Here's what Mary wrote:

'Security of property! Behold in a few words, the definition of English liberty. And to this selfish principle every nobler one is sacrificed....'

'Virtue can only flourish amongst equals' 

From A Vindication of the Rights of Man (1790) which preceded Thomas Paine's Rights of Man by a year.


“[I]f we revert to history, we shall find that the women who have distinguished themselves have neither been the most beautiful nor the most gentle of their sex.”  

“My own sex, I hope, will excuse me, if I treat them like rational creatures, instead of flattering their fascinating graces, and viewing them as if they were in a state of perpetual childhood, unable to stand alone.” 

“Taught from their infancy that beauty is woman's sceptre, the mind shapes itself to the body, and roaming round its gilt cage, only seeks to adorn its prison.” 

From A Vindication of the Rights of Woman


Clearly she was a rational, keen-minded individual with a, sadly, contemporary-sounding axe to grind.  But these words, marvellous as they are, do not encapsulate what was wonderful about Mary Wollstonecraft.  Mary was, in the nicest possible way, a bit of a fuck up.  She had a habit of falling for the least suitable man to hand. 


Now these men were respected in their professions.  They were intellectuals, noted for their work.  They were no doubt fascinating in some way or I doubt they would have caught her attention.  They were not, however, particularly nice men.  Take twunt #1 above.  Fuseli was an interesting chap.  Repressed sexuality aside, he helped define the Romantic movement and he did a reet good incubus, so he did.  He shared a deep Platonic relationship with Mary which, for her part, turned into love.  Fuseli was married.  A slight hitch.  Mary decided that she could work around that and asked his wife if she'd mind terribly if she moved in with them, seeing as she had such great affection for Henry and all.  Sophia, Henry's wife, failed to see the practicality of this solution and forbade Mary from ever seeing Henry again.  Henry had no further contact with Mary.

You could argue that Mary was being unrealistic, or even that she was a little bit mad.  I think not.  I think she was working within the remit of the manifesto which she had written.  The first quote above makes it clear that she believed that the laws of property interfered with 'noble principles'.  The definition of property can be extended to include notions of ownership in relationships.  As a fiercely independent woman, her suggestion makes sense in a way that was centuries ahead of its time. 

After this humiliating event, Mary travelled to France, to enjoy her fame as a supporter of the Revolution.  There she met the dreamboat, Gilbert Imlay, aka twunt #2.  He was a speculator, and had an interesting approach to diplomacy, running British blockades of French ports while acting as ambassador in Paris.  He mirrored this approach in his dealings with Mary.  A lusty love affair led to pregnancy.  She had his child.  He became restless.  He left her with the baby in Paris and moved back to London.  She followed him to London.  He largely ignored her.  She tried to kill herself.  She recovered and agreed to go on a business trip across Europe, with her baby, on his behalf.  She returned to find him shacked up with another woman.  She tried to drown herself in the Thames. 

Again, you could argue that Mary was being a little bit naive by trekking across to Sweden on his behalf.  At the same time, however, she wrote to him frequently.  Her letters to him were collected and read by her later husband, William Godwin, who said of them: "If ever there was a book calculated to make a man in love with its author, this appears to me to be the book."  The letters allowed Mary to make a clever and emotional plea for Imlay's affection, ranging between vulnerability and independence.  Here was a woman who capable of using her writing like a spell to enchant her would-be lover. 

But Imlay was a bad egg.  Mary's letters didn't entice him back towards his responsibilities, however alluring their content, and Mary was forced to come down on the side of independence once more.  Those words which she had sent out into the world found their enraptured audience, however, in William Godwin, writer and philosopher.  The pair hit it off and soon she was pregnant again.  This time the couple married.  Seems like a good idea right?  Well as it turns out this marriage only drew attention to the fact that she hadn't been married to Imlay when she bore his child.  English Society was not too chuffed and a few of her friends found that the stench of scandal was more than they could bear. 

Nevermind, Mary and William set themselves up in the Polygon, a pair of ajoining houses which allowed them to be independent and communicate by letter.  Superb.  Their eversomodern plan was working out splendidly until Mary died of septicaemia 11 days after giving birth.  Bugger. 

William published a biography of Mary a year after her death, detailing her suicide attempts, the hopeless love affairs and illegitimate children.  England was scandalized once more.  Her name was mud until the Feminists cleaned her off and caller her Mother. 

So there she is.  Mary Wollstonecraft.  Intellectual rebel.  Emotional hazard.  Fierce, fragile and expressive.  Role model.  Icon. 


 

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Book Burning


On the 10th May 1933, 40,000 people gathered in the Opernplatz (Berlin) to hear the German propaganda minster, Joseph Goebbels, deliver a speech that would result in thousands of books being condemned.





On that night, more than 25,000 books were thrown onto bonfires. Books that had been classified as “un-German” were set alight, in what Goebbels described as “Action against the un-German spirit”.

An act of extreme censorship that would continue to shock our futures, but which would not silence our minds, imprison our speech, or break our spirit. Against a backdrop of severe violence, voices refused to lie quiet in the embers; they rose from the ashes: tall, strong and defiant. For example, Helen Keller’s voice rose in response to the ashes of her own burnt books, saying that “Tyranny cannot defeat the power of ideas”. She, along with many other authors, poets and  playwrights, refused to be oppressed – fire could destroy their written works, but it couldn’t eliminate their thoughts or their ideas.

Similarly, Stephen Vincent Benet’s radio play, They Burned Our Books, was broadcast on the eighth anniversary of the book burnings. With the same flames that the Nazis had used to destroy, new works were sparked into existence and spirits were lit, spurred into action. Benet sets the scene, and against spouting Nazi ideologies he calls forth voices of wisdom and enlightenment from over the centuries to speak. It is a piece of writing that has the ability to move you, while the voices of past poets and writers inspire even the most dormant of minds.

Extract from Stephen Vincent Benet’s They Burned Our Books
  
Narrator:
A book's a book. It's paper, ink and print.
If you stab it, it won't bleed.
If you beat it, it won't bruise.
If you burn it, it won't scream.
[Crackle of flames]
Burn a few books – burn hundreds – burn a million-
What difference does that make?

Voice of Schiller [firm and thoughtful]:
It does to me.
Excuse me, sir – my name is Friedrich Schiller,
A name once not unknown in Germany,
One of the glories, so they said, of Germany,
A Germany these robbers never knew.
Over a century and a half ago
I spoke and wrote of freedom.

I spoke against oppressors and dictators.
I spoke for every man who lifts his head And will not bow to tyrants.
And, though I died, my poems and plays spoke on
In every tongue, in every land for freedom,
For that's what books can do.


Thank you for reading,
Lara