What I Remember About Friendship...

I thought I’d use this post as an opportunity to just write everything that came to mind when I thought about ‘Friendship’; a kind of word association game that starts in childhood and stretches back into the present. I like writing little pieces of writing like this. I like the unexpected that you find within your own mind. I like the possibilities that can sometimes be found; even a potential poem can be lurking within one of your forgotten memories. So I guess that today’s post is more exercise than writing (but hopefully there is a poem just waiting to be written into existence in the near future).

I remember the paddling pool in your garden. An August afternoon of giggles and freedom. The perfect blonde curls that I wished were mine. I remember cutting my foot, and your mum mending it with a plaster. The strawberry patch, buzzing with sweetness.

I remember the peanut fight that broke out on my 8^th birthday between two friends. Crying when the cake was cut. Crying when I had to share it.

I remember leaving my friends behind.

I remember having to make new ones – in a new school, in a new town.

I remember friendship bracelets. Falling out, taking sides. I remember sleepovers. Back garden camping. Cow pat cakes. I remember locking you in the shed. Barking like a wild dog. Apologising. Laughing. I remember starting upper school. Being scared together.

I remember climbing trees. Making dens. I remember trying to fit in. Copying. Matching. Growing up.

I remember liking the same boy, creating code names. Secrets. Cross my heart ‘til I die. I remember promises, daisy chains and cans of Lilt. Penny sweets. Bliss magazine. Problem pages. I remember dreaming. Believing. Taking different paths.  

I remember saying goodbye. Hurting. Writing. Departure boards. Visiting hours. I remember the fold-in-half feeling of guilt and your look of shock.

I remember being lonely. Trusting you. Lying. Forgiving. I remember Saturdays, Sainsbury’s and Girl, Interrupted. Onion rings. Pasta. Pesto. Tears. I remember Christmas ’04 and my 18^th birthday card. I remember smoking. Being sick. Being dizzy. Roller coasters. The face on the Pringle’s can. Ouija boards. Earthquakes and cockroaches. I remember art galleries, love and long conversations. Paulo Coelho, Cindy Sherman and Camden Town  

I remember ducks drowning. Broken wings. Police. Your purse. An abandoned hamster. Newspapers. I remember giving up, curling up, wishing. The brightest star. Escaping, walking, The Peak District. Bats and torches. I remember my trainers being left outside the tent. Writing. Waiting Learning.

I remember English, ghosts, mountains and fear. Welsh dragons and Starbucks. Musicals, asylums and perfection. I remember looking in a mirror. Jumping forward 15 years. Poetry. Barista. I remember picnics, vegan cheesecake, tartlets and running water. I remember falling in love.

Thank you for reading,

Lar