Sunday, 11 January 2015

You Think You Want A Resolution

When I was asked to write a New Year’s blog type thing I set my mind in motion. I thought long a hard, scrunching up my nose and closing my eyes so tight that they felt like they would never open again, just to get that extra bit of thunk out of my head. I looked at the theme ‘Resolution(s)’ and allowed myself to remember all the New Year’s resolutions I haven’t kept over the years. I could recall every last one of them up to 1992. You see, this was the year that I actually managed to keep one. 

I resolved to never make any such 1st of January promises ever again; and I have stuck to that promise. I know it doesn’t look like it - after all I have written a couple of books, published a collection of poems and, as started on the 1st of 2015, I am currently writing a poem a day in my #365poems project. However, none of these were resolutions. I at no point wrote down a list, or exclaimed to anyone that “come the New Year I will make sure…”

Yes the #365poems started as the year began, but that was just an arbitrary marker, much like the New Year itself. Because I am numbering the poems and not dating them, it is so much easier in the future to trace back to a day when a particular poem was written if both the first poem and the first day share the same numeric value. 

I set myself goals regardless of the day. I have found over the years that I’m much better at achieving goals than keeping promises to myself. Goals have a finish line, goals can move with your life and do not have to be fixed, and you can’t let yourself down with a goal after the first week. 

As the clock struck midnight on the 31st of December 1991 and it was time for my ‘92 resolution, I decided to try and rid my life of disappointment, accept that things fail, it’s OK to be sad from time to time and to give myself time to succeed at whatever I choose to do. 

What I have built for myself since then is a life with no regrets, with highs and lows and with people I love. Everything else is just gravy. I challenge myself because I can, I push myself because I want to and I’m not disappointed because the next success is only round the corner. 

Here is the first of my #365poems, thank you for reading. 

1: Happy New Day

Happy New Day
I wish you health and happiness
That opportunities present themselves
And luck bless your every step 

And as the day unfolds
I hope you smile and cheer
As the promises you made to yourself
Are fulfilled and dreams become tangible 

I touch the air of winter’s lust
Covering all I own in the outside world
With a layer of frozen moisture
That excites my fingers 

The park is full of wistful thinking
A family is left out in the cold
And the man in the pink top leaves the bandstand
With a broken heart 

A melancholy realisation
So that was Christmas
And a Happy New Day
Let’s hope it’s a good one 

But before the countdown begins
I have one last wish
That the next 365 days
Are not filled with hate
Colin Davies