written and posted by members of Lancashire Dead Good Poets' Society

Saturday 12 September 2020

A Growing Pain

Apparently I am a "woke leftie, spouting a redundant Marxist narrative" - an accusation laid at my door recently by someone who not only believes both 'woke' and 'leftie' are forms of abuse, but also clearly doesn't understand there's a difference between democratic socialism and communism.

And there was me thinking I was simply advocating a world in which everybody has a secure roof over their head, isn't in danger of being gassed, bombed, ethnically cleansed or otherwise physically and mentally abused, has enough to eat and drink, is offered education while young and work at a reasonable remuneration in a world where being a good, caring and responsible citizen is the pre-eminent goal, where any form of discrimination is unacceptable, where exploitation (whether by 'greedy fat cats' or 'lazy scroungers') is simply not tolerated, but where the truly needy are supported and restored to equilibrium and a sense of worth. Isn't that what a decent society ought to be about?

Is it naïve idealism? I was told when I was a young man that I would grow out of such illusions when I got older, with a wife and kids, a career and a mortgage to worry about. But I still hold to those ideals, that social conscience and aspiration for the greater good. To me, that's what being 'woke' and a 'leftie' is all about. Far better than dozing into the nightmare of this creeping right-wing 'laissez-faire (i.e. rampant and unchecked) capitalist-oligarch domination that we're currently heading for. Maybe I just never grew up.

I take the view that we all start off with enormous potential as little human beings, with the latent ability to learn to be open, positive, kind, generous, co-operative, adventurous, creative, as we grow - providing we're given the right milieu and role models.

How disappointing that what starts like this....
If we're shown love, care, kindness, tolerance, the importance of honesty and fairness, most of us  will end up internalising and exhibiting those qualities in life (and pass them on in turn).

It doesn't always go according to plan. There are vast inequalities in this country where 5% of the population (just over 1 million people) own 90% of the wealth, a gap that's widening, by the way, and in which millions of people are living below the poverty line. Without political and social change enshrined in law (i.e.a leftie agenda) those inequalities are never going to be "levelled up" (to use the current buzzword). Instead, the power-brokers - the have-a-lots who mean to have even more - will always deflect away any criticism of their own privilege and motives by encouraging a sense of dissatisfaction with something or someone else: like the nasty EU (which has actually done more good for the average citizen in this country than any Tory government of the last 50 years), welfare scroungers, or those dirty immigrants. So it goes, shameful and disdainful.

...so often ends up like this!
"Boris is my PM", "No more immigrants here", "Our own rules", "Fuck off EU", "Oven ready, go!", "Tough shit, remoaners" - just a few of the placards endorsing and celebrating a democratic vote to leave the European Union thanks to a Brexit campaign founded on outright lies and misinformation peddled by right-wing pressure groups and part funded by Russian roubles, playing on the xenophobic bigotry and narrow-mindedness of a nation disaffected ironically by years of Tory austerity, supposedly necessitated in the wake of a financial crisis caused by the cynical greed of a bunch of exploitative free-market capitalists.

It's a growing pain (as far as I'm concerned), this groundswell of baying right-wing venom against the best of our social and democratic constructs as a tolerant and caring society. We have the greatest state health service in the world (the NHS) and yet the Tories are planning to decimate it as part of a trade deal with the USA. We have the finest public service broadcasting organisation in the world (the BBC - and we should be as proud of it as we are of the NHS), but it is under attack for proposing to charge the licence fee (means tested) to over 75s because the Tories have decided to pull the government subsidy that has funded the pensioners' free licence for decades. It's this government which should be receiving pelters of abuse, not the BBC. And then most recently there has been the ugly campaign against migrants and "illegals living off Britian's generosity".

Well here's a financial argument to put it all in perspective: if the business-men and companies that are illegally avoiding paying tax in this country stumped up the hundreds of billions a year of which they are defrauding the exchequer, that would more than cover every penny that's paid out in social benefits and universal credits (and those are the government's own estimates). Earlier on I  mentioned exploitation and it is abundantly clear that 'fat cat' illegalities far outweigh 'lazy scrounger' illegalities - but the Tory press and the right-wing pressure groups make sure your average Joe - or Doris - will vent their spleen on those at the bottom of the heap, the lazy scroungers and the pitiable immigrants, rather than the cynical captains of industry and financial makers and shakers who are the real culprits, sitting arrogant and supposedly untouchable on top of the pile, taking us all for a ride.

Okay, rant over. Let's cut to some poetry - and this week a piece loaded with satire, plus not a little irony and (in its tail) the sting of existential retribution. Don't be like Doris!


Lust And Loathing In Suburbia
Doris Motion, matronly and decorous,
is nonetheless a slave to patriotic lust.
It's discreet, like the ancient vibrator
in her dressing-table drawer, this secret
she shares with the blue-rinse ladies
with whom she plays fours; their mantra,
"In Boris We Trust", the only outward
token of such deeply felt devotion.

In another age, a picture of Our Lord
might have graced her bedroom wall,
but since her husband passed away
a framed photograph of Boris Johnson
and the sympathetic note he wrote her
are on proud display. If they made
a bust of her hero, she'd have one too,
for that extra touch of patrician gravitas.

In this chamber fashioned as a shrine,
every night she lights red, white and
blue candles, the better to contemplate
the man she adores as she peels off lashes,
cleanses her pores and, in deshabille,
pulls the brush a hundred times through
a once lush gilded mane. It captivated
Father; she imagines Boris is the same.

Sometimes she gets a hot flush
just gazing into his Labrador eyes,
would happily mother the sweet boy
for his brave sacrifice,
could fling her arms around
his stout form in mute gratitude
for making Britain great again -

and rues the fact that both her sons
have moved away, turned their backs
on this neat suburban nest, the elder lad
to France, the younger fled to Italy.

Kneeling nightgowned by her bed at length
to pray, beseeching: "Give Boris strength
and keep those dirty migrants at bay",
Doris doesn't see the dark stain of shame
spreading across her expensive pink rose paper,
nor sense that pervasive whiff of disdain
like bad drains which has been hanging
around the gated cul-de-sac for some days now...

Thanks for reading my "woke leftie spoutings", S ;-)

28 comments:

Boz said...

U stormed it there la!

Anonymous said...

Noble woke leftie spoutings Mr. R, but I'm not sure the world is paying attention - too busy bitching.

Ross Madden said...

I share your dismay and disgust Steve. Your poem made me both laugh out loud and cringe. I'm sure we all know a Doris or two. Stay woke and keep ranting for a better world.

Bill Parry said...

Steve - the poem is beautifully composed and makes its point subtly enough. I've read your preamble twice - and really, there's nothing with which I can take issue. You've known me long enough to know that, basically, we're on the same page. But I am deeply concerned about the current PC zeitgeist and its bastard son - and it IS a bastard of the first water - this hideous 'cancel culture'. The latter is surely the implacable enemy of meaningful socialist logic, which must be based on a pluralistic, open society approach to the free exchange of ideas. The intolerance of the current PC lobby to any ideas or opinions which infringe the tenets of the prevailing social ethos is, in the view of this unreconstructed leftist, antipathetical to the principles of pluralism. Censorship and intolerance from the professed left strikes me as every bit as noxious - and indeed dangerous - as that for which Mrs Whitehouse campaigned in the '60s and '70s. (Though the irony of the overlap seems to have escaped most right-on radicals.) I will remain unashamedly 'lefty' in my sensibilities and perceptions; but if 'woke' means applying the inflexible rigours of the prevailing zeitgeist without regard to circumstances or context, then I am very happy to sleep on.

Matt West said...

Hi Steve. I'm with you pal about what a sh!t job the Tories are doing and all the fake right wing news spew. I stopped using FB because of it. One thing worries me though. Your Doris looks a bit tasty! Anyway when can we go back inside Bloomers pal? UTMP.

Steve Rowland said...

Bill, thanks for the detailed and considered response. I agree with you about the inherent danger of 'political correctness' being invoked to distort or stifle rational debate on social issues. Being 'woke' (as originally coined) as far as I'm concerned is about awareness and openness, not bias or cultural censorship.

Nigella D said...

I just wanted you to know that I'm not like Doris (LOL). Another very powerful blog, Steve.

Rod Downey said...

Well said Steve. I really can't imagine why anyone would want to mother Boris Johnson. It's a stain on the world that he was mothered at all! Biting wit in your Lust and Loathing poem - should be on the national curriculum. Oh wait, the Tories have taken poetry off the agenda. Bastards.

Max Page said...

It's a very good point you make about the extent of tax evasion in this country - basically a selfish and anti-social act. I thought your poem was wicked :)

Ruth Maxwell said...

You say what many of us are thinking, but far more eloquently than I could manage, so thanks for that. I've seen the word 'woke' bandied about a lot, along with 'virtue signalling' by people pouring scorn on protests against anything they see as challenging social injustice or cynical Tory politics. I believe more people would vote to stay in the EU than leave it if the referrendum was held again today. We have to move on, but it's difficult to see where intelligent debate will get us in the face of so many Dorises and their male equivalents who are cheer-leading the turning back of the tide of progress.

Ben Templeton said...

Brilliant Steve, and necessarily savage. When will apparently intelligent people wise up to the truth about the clown in Downing Street, the pussy-groper in the White House and all those other shysters who've been given a mandate at the ballot box to make a mess of the countries that elected them?

Mitch Carragher said...

So much of what is written these days smacks of cliche, especially put-downs like 'woke' or 'leftie' - just lazy name-calling. There is a lack of intelligent debate or serious addressing of issues. Thankfully you don't fall into that trap. My only critique of your blog is that you didn't quote figures for tax avoidance and the social welfare bill. I thought your poem was devastatingly good.

billgrams said...

Great critique of our current sickness and a brilliant poem to boot. Like both equally. Call the piece not a rant but a reasoned critique. To 'Tell it like it is,' in short don't be apologetic. Just a thought.

Stu Hodges said...

Powerful stuff Steve. I read recently that Britain has signed its first post-Brexit trade deal and it's with Japan. The irony, lost surely on Doris and her ilk, is that it is essentially the same as the EU's trade deal with Japan. What's that phrase? You couldn't make it up. When are the people who voted for Brexit going to realise that their little victory is a costly and hollow one?
Great poem, by the way. Stay woke :)

Georgia Steele said...

I agree in principle and in practice with everything you say. As a lifelong feminist, I do feel slightly uncomfortable that you've singled out the female of the right-wing species in your satire, but I think the poem makes a powerful point.

otyikondo said...

Watching from the cheap seats in low-Gini Scandinavia, shaking my head in dismay. Sadly, the culture wars that have plagued the States for decades (basically since Reagan and earlier) now seem deeply entrenched in the UK, to the point where a sizeable part of the population are so irreversibly invested in the cargo cult of post-EU sunlit uplands that they will simply shrug as the country threatens to tear up international agreements. Their eyes are so fixed on the prize of "sovrinty" dangled in front of them that they are blind to anything else going on in the pursuit of that chimera. I suppose things would be no less obscenely out of joint if the government were made up exclusively of left-handed people, or vegans, or LARP enthusiasts, or avid cyclists, or cross-dressers, or celebrity chefs, or seismologists, or Capricorns, or pedal steel guitarists instead of the extreme loyalist Brexit dogmatists who now run the place in lockstep. On the other subject, I wonder, Steve, if you remember, back in the day, an agitprop theatre company called 7:84? They were active from the mid-70s and took their name from the seven percent who then owned 84% of the nation's wealth. So, yes, the inequality IS getting worse, and the savage irony is that the perpetrators are so often put into power and kept there by the very people who will be left even further behind. It's a paradox if ever there was one.

Jon Cromwell said...

Well that was another thought-provoking read. I suspect that calling socially-minded people 'naive' in repsonse to pleas for a fairer society is just another form of abuse like 'woke' or 'leftie' by those who are happy with the status quo, which is dominated by a cynical and divise world view. Just look at all those crowing reactions you cited from people celebrating their historic split from Europe. Small minds are utterly besotted with power and prestige rather than the greater good (as you've expressed it before I think) of society at large. I thought your poem was funny in a pointed way. Sadly, I don't think many of the Doris brigade will read it. Stirring patriotic rhymes are more their thing. Well done, anyway.

terry quinn said...

Excellent article and poem

Steve Rowland said...

Georgia, I'm sensitive to the point you make (as a nearly lifelong feminist myself) about the gender bias of my satirical sideswipe. May I just say that in fairness I did rip into the male equivalent in another recent post? See my poem 'Off White' about a certain breed of xenophobic football lads in the August 8th blog.

Harry Lennon said...

Top form Steve. The poem is a corker. 👍

Lizzie Fentiman said...

Strewth Steve, it's not been pretty watching the land of hope and glory tearing itself apart these last few years. I'm glad my parents moved to Oz in the early 70s but it saddens me to see the shitshow the old country has descended into. I've come to trust your blogs for an honest as well as an artistic appraisal of what's going on, so to me woke and leftie are positive attributes of a considered position. As for Doris and the millions like her, well Boris has promised them all TimTams. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Jazmeen said...

There are some bad mothers out there!

Robert Harries said...

I thoroughly enjoyed (and concur with) the contents of this latest blog and I thought your satirical poem hit the spot. Well said. Thanks for sharing.

Beth Randle said...

I have big arguments with my mother about Boris. Unfortunately she's a bit of an apoligist for him, is willing to ignore or not believe his many failings because he's 'lovable and trying his best for Britain'! She's not quite a Doris but there's no doubt he exercises some strange charm over women of a certain age :(

K. Worth said...

Another powerful post Steve. Well said. I'd never unfriended people on Facebook before this year but I got tired of seeing so much vile right-wing propaganda being shared and circulated by some of my FB friends that I just unfriended them in the end. Social media truly has become a Yahoos' playground (I'm sure you know what I mean).

Emily Blythe said...

Great writing again Steve. I like the way you structured the before/after images (clever) and I'd never thought about those tax evasion issues very seriously before but they are significant. I know the Doris of your poem is a caricature, but I wonder how many people will feel it's a bit close to the bone?

Anonymous said...

I'm loving the incisive satire of that poem. Very funny and sadly true for many, I suspect.

Grant Trescothick said...

Very well written. You make a great point about the relative levels of 'illegality' at play. I've seen loads of media posts in the last few weeks frothing at the mouth about hundreds of migrants crossing the channel for the chance of a better life (just like they used to do from Ireland to Liverpool in a century gone by!). They are coming here to work not to scrounge. And as you say, the cost to the country of 'benefits cheats' is way lower than the cost of 'tax cheats'. Xenophobia is the driver. It's what 'won' the Brexit vote. Keep calling it out Steve.