written and posted by members of Lancashire Dead Good Poets' Society

Saturday, 11 December 2021

Sharks!

"Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water..." has to be one of the most famous taglines in movie history, slicing like a dorsal fin through the surface of our collective cultural consciousness, instantly recognisable even by those (like me) who never saw 'Jaws 2' - from which it derives - or any of the other three horror films in the franchise starring man-eating  sharks!  But then I don't swim, and have never thought it particularly safe to go in the water in the first place, at least not beyond waist height in some quiet corner of the sun-kissed Mediterranean. 

'Jaws' certainly did much to give sharks a worse reputation than they already had, and the obvious question that sprang to mind when I saw this week's blog theme was: is it a reputation that is deserved? I took a bit of a dive into the topic and was surprised by what I found.
 

Sharks have a cartilaginous rather than a bony skeleton (which is why there are no fossil remains to be found) and are of the order of fish known as chondrichthyans. They have five to seven gills on either side of the head and pectoral fins that are not fused to the head. Being dominant in their domain, they have not been required to evolve much from Shark Mark I, though there is great variety to be found.

In fact there are over 500 species of shark swimming around the world's oceans (which, remember, gives them access to 70 per cent of the planet, while land-based life is limited to the other 30 per cent). They have been around for over 400 million years, which means they pre-date (and have obviously outlived) the age of the dinosaurs, presumably because of the protective nature of their watery environment.

It is sad to reflect, therefore, that 143 of the 500 species which have existed so happily for all those millions of years are now classified as endangered thanks largely to the malign impact of mankind on the planet in the last 200 years. That's quite a shocker. One could quite understand if some sharks did have it in for human beings!

So what about all the scare-mongering over shark attacks on people? In reality, although they are apex predators, i.e. top of the ocean food chain, and cold-blooded killing machines of the seas, there have been  a mere 2,785 confirmed reports of unprovoked attacks by sharks around the world since 1958, when official recording of such incidents began. That averages out at 45 a year, less than one per week. Furthermore, the number of fatalities per year is in single figures, in other words little higher than zero in statistical terms; one might almost call that a drop in the ocean, unless you happened to be one of the handful of victims.

On top of that, a mere dozen out of 500 species of shark are truly considered dangerous and of those, only 3 types have even clocked up double-digit death tolls since records began in 1958. They are the Great White, Tiger and Bull. It is true that the number of attacks per year is increasing and the reason for that is thought to be the directly related to an increase in the number of people who go swimming  in coastal waters (e.g. around the USA and Australia) that sharks have traditionally regarded as their own. As in so many other areas, we are the invasive problem.

Leaping fresh from the imaginarium, this week's new poem, again dashed off in haste at the end of another less than successful away day.

In Vinegar Shallows
We'd burst late upon the scene
in sharp sharkskin suits
with cold avaricious eyes
and calculating machines.
In terms of the planetary day
evening was already under way.

Sun swung low over still waters
as we swaggered down to the shore,
liked all that we saw
and proceeded to royally
fuck everything over
without a care for consequence.

The last few basking sharks
circling in vinegar shallows
clearly knew the chips were down,
the game was up. You could tell
as they meandered mournfully.
There would be poaching tonight.


I was going to post a link to the cult 'Baby Shark Song', but thought better of it.

Thanks for reading. Stay dry! S ;-)

43 comments:

Jay Daley said...

Fascinating. Your point about destructive mankind is well driven home here. I liked the poem but on a semantic level the basking sharks are probably going to boil rather than fry.

Seb Politov said...

I didn't know those shark facts. It really does point up how destructive we are as a species. Great poem too.

Nigella D said...

I never felt sorry for sharks until reading your moving blog and poem :(

Anonymous said...

So many sharks. So few shark attacks. Case proved Mr R.

Beth Randle said...

Beautifully written as usual Steve. I've sometimes wondered why we like dolphins but not sharks. Is it because they are warm-blooded mammals like us? Dolphins have been known to attack humans as well. I love the latest poem.

Ross Madden said...

Yes, absolutely. Leave the seas to the sharks. If god had meant us to swim she would have given us gills (LOL). Brilliant poetry. 👏

Ben Templeton said...

A great blog. I didn't know sharks had been around for so long (and Shark Mark I made me smile). Your poem is clever and moving. Thanks for sparing us the Baby Shark song. 😏

Debbie Laing said...

I have to say I feel much the same about sharks as I do about snakes and wasps, but I recognise others may feel more kindly disposed to them (and your poem hits home there). I'm happy to keep well away from them and hope they do the same.

Binty said...

Poached shark doesn't sound very appetising...but i get your point.

Mac Southey said...

I never saw any of the Jaws films either, couldn't see the attraction. As for sharks, they're not very lovable are they - though the one in your picture looks quite cute. The poem worked for me. Man as the worst predator.

Lizzie Fentiman said...

Yes. Australia has the dubious distinction of having the highest reported number of shark attacks, nearly a quarter of them all; so far 18 this year with 2 fatalities. That compares favourably with our 400 murders. I thought your blog was very balanced and death by sharks is a drop in the ocean which is why it's shocking when it happens. I thought the poem was great, loved the title and the way you developed it. Loved the graphics too.

Grant Trescothick said...

Of course sharks don't have it in for us anymore than we have it in for them. Horror movies (and even James Bond films) have done nothing to help. It should be a case of live and let live but as your pointed poem demonstrates, we are the destructive party here (albeit in reality unwittingly).

Rod Downey said...

Great blog Steve, excellent poem, nice fin!

Deke Hughes said...

I loved this. Such an elegantly and eloquently written piece and yet it makes a compelling case that the sharks are not the bad guys here. Well done. Fabulous poem too.

Miriam Fife said...

I'm with you on staying out of the sea (except for a quick dip on a very hot day). It's a great poem.

Caroline Asher said...

I'm no great lover of sharks but you've awakened my sympathies for them with your compelling prose and moving poetry.

Harry Lennon said...

Excellent and on-point blogging Steve. I really enjoyed the poem: great title, powerful message, tremendous use of language. 👏

Nick Ball said...

I watched Jaws again a few years ago. Utter rubbish. Well done for your blog in defence of sharks, and the latest poem pointing up the destructive side of our own species. Excellent stuff as ever. Keep them coming.

Simon Pickford said...

Caught a re-run of Licence to Kill on TV today - lots of hungry sharks!

Stu Hodges said...

Well said Steve. A succinct debunking of a myth. Of course there are occasional rogue sharks but people need to remember that all wild animals can be dangerous in some circumstances. I thought the poem was very good. Merry Christmas to you.

Brett Cooper said...

Most encounters between sharks and humans are simply a case of sharks being inquisitive and not aggressive. They are not particularly territorial but they will check out large creatures in the waters and being apex predators, as you have documented, they are quite fearless. I know people who have had a few quite innocuous encounters while swimming. Your poem nails the real issue. We are far more of threat to sharks (and many other life forms) than they are to us.

Yvonne Russell said...

I admire the way you challenge preconceptions. Well done for that and for the clever poem.

CI66Y said...

That's a rather pretty shark. There are some absolute monsters out there! (LOL) Seriously, this strikes the right notes and your clever poem is a powerful satire of the true predators in the matter of human beings and sharklife.

terry quinn said...

I didn't know about the shark skeleton. The things we read on this blog.
I take your point about the statistics but you still wouldn't get me in the water in Australia.
Excellent poem

Peter Fountain said...

A great, informative read and an excellent poem.

Mark II Ford said...

Fascinating stuff and a great poem (loved the title and the concept of it).

Lydia Glezou said...

I loved your instructive blog and clever, satirical poetry. 👏

Billy Banter said...

Sharks are people too! Happy New Year.

James Wilsher said...

Thank you for sharing. I really didn't know that about sharks. (Your blogs are a real education!) I thought the poem was brilliantly done.

Lois Hayburn said...

What a thoughtful blog and a really clever, pointed poem. I loved it.

Roger Wakeley said...

Really interesting read. I didn't realise sharks had been around for so long, but I did wonder how do we know this, given they don't leave fossilized remains? The poem is excellent.

Anonymous said...

Just to say I thought your poem In Vinegar Shallows was really well done; a clever metaphor and an incisive satire.

Ruth Maxwell said...

I loved the blog and the poem, but I'm intrigued (bugged in fact) by the tense of your last line "There would be poaching tonight." What sort of construction is that? My best guess is future conditional, but I don't know.

Gwen Basinski said...

You make the case for sharks and against man cogently enough but it's the poem that packs the emotional punch for me - I think it's brilliantly done. 💙

Ozzie Blake said...

I've no great affection for sharks, but that's a very telling blog and a quite excellent poem. 👏

Dean Juncowitz said...

I have swum with (basking) sharks and lived to tell the tale. You're right, it's all about understanding and respect, whereas ignorance breeds fear. I like your cautionary poem.

GV (Vance) said...

I love that poem. Very well done Steve. BTW what's happening with your poetry collection that was rumoured to be in the works last year?

Malcolm Drysdale said...

I like the ecological point you are making with the long and the short of it, and I enjoyed the poem once I'd figured out the 'planetary day' - which ought to have been obvious to me from the foregoing. Very well said.

Brett Cooper said...

I don't know if you saw that a man was killed by a Great White Shark just off the coast at Sydney the other day, first fatal attack in the area in 60 years. The guy used to swim there regularly. Bathing has been prohibited temporarily.

Lee Ballantyne said...

Brilliant poetry. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ricky Middleton said...

Well done for speaking up for the sharks. Loved the pointed poem.👏

J P Lowery said...

Written with such style, I loved reading this - and the message is a sobering one. Clever poem too.

Anonymous said...

Genius poetry.