I can only recall one joke that he ever told (and I must have been about ten at the time). It went like this: A trio of West Indian brothers opened a fish & chip shop in south-east London. When they applied to the GPO for a telephone number they were assigned BLAckfriars 123. That made him fair hoot.
For younger readers I should explain that prior to the mid-1960s introduction of automated Standard Trunk Dialling (with all digit phone numbers), callers would dial a manned telephone exchange using the numerical equivalent of the three-letter id of the exchange and then ask the operator to connect them with the local customer number. A ghostly remnant of the time when telephone dials carried letters equivalent to numbers can still be seen on smartphones today. BLA would have been represented by the digits 252 (should you care to check). By the way, the joke falls down on a technicality because the customer part of the number was always four digits, not three. WHItehall 1212 (the original number for Scotland Yard) is perhaps the most famous example.
What then is the essence of a Dad Joke? It's usually quite short. often in the form of a question and answer, and is frequently based around aa bad pun or similar dubious play on words, the whole delivery being a tease designed to elicit groans from the hearer for it being 'corny', rather than any appreciation for its wit.
One thing that did surprise me was to learn that the label Dad Joke is relatively recent (1987 - happy 40th birthday), though the style clearly goes way back to a time when hippos ruled the world.
At which point, let me regale you with twenty of the worst 'hippo' dad jokes (though some are not half bad):
 |
| a hippo dad |
01. What do you call a hippo with one leg? - A hoppo.
02. What do you call hippo with no hips? A potamus.
03. What do you call a lame hippo? A limpo.
04. What do you call a lame hippo who inhabits the Limpopo river? A limpopotamus or limpopopopotamus
05. What do you call a hippo with no legs? It doesn't matter, as he can't come when you call him.
05. What do you call a hippo with no legs? It doesn't matter, as he can't come when you call him.
06. What do you call a hippo with a cold? A hipposnotamus.
07. What do you call a hippo that can rap? A hiphopotomus.
08. What role do you give to a hippo that can act? Hippolyta (in A Midsummer Night's Dream).
09. What do you call a hippo with Tourettes? A hippopottymouth.
10. What do you call a hippo who never follows his own advice? A hippocrite.
11. What do you call a non-existent hippo? Hippothetical.
12. What do you call a hippo with no legs swimming in a river? Bob (or clever Dick)...think about it.
13. Why is a hippo wearing speedos like an elephant? They both have large trunks.
14. Hippos can run and swim faster than human beings. Your best chance in the triathlon is the bicycle race.
15. What do you get if you cross a hippo with Snoop Dogg? A smokealotapotamus.
16. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One's heavy, the other's a little lighter.
16. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One's heavy, the other's a little lighter.
17. Where do hippos go for a grand night out? To a hippodrome.
18. Where do brainy hippos go to university? The hippocampus.
19. Why do hippos hate the cold? Because of hippothermia.
20. Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it.
Or course I've written a bit of a fun poem for today's blog. When reading it, you'll need to put the stress on the fourth syllable of hippopotamus, making it either a short ä (first verse) or a long ā (pronounced like an r, last verse), hence the diacritic marks. Don't worry, the rhymes in the poem will keep you on track.
Hippopotämus <> Hippopotāmus
Hippopotämus
Don't try to frame us
Defame or fat shame us
Certainly don't blame us
Sad ignoramus
It's Greek of course, for river horse
And we're much better sports
Than any phoney water polo pony
OK, we understand that reprimand
Dismiss what we've been taught
Take this chance to change our stance
He don't alarm us
Delights to charm us
Won't never harm us
No one's as calm as
Hippopotāmus
Thanks for reading, S ;-)
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