Lyrical Ballads

 by Ashley Lister

A third year undergrad recently posted a poll on the Dead Good Poets’ FaceBook page. The poll can be found by following this link: /http://www.facebook.com/groups/10150320397700001/ and I know she’d appreciate any further votes and opinions that can be added. The student is interested in finding out whether song lyrics can be classed as poetry (and vice versa).

My response to this question has been: “It depends on the song.” If anyone wants to know what I mean, study the lack of poetic content in the following:

Gangnam Style – PSY 

(translation)
Oppa is Gangnam style
Gangnam style

A girl who is warm and humanly during the day
A classy girl who know how to enjoy the freedom of a cup of coffee
A girl whose heart gets hotter when night comes
A girl with that kind of twist

I’m a guy
A guy who is as warm as you during the day
A guy who one-shots his coffee before it even cools down
A guy whose heart bursts when night comes
That kind of guy

OK, you might argue. But that's a song in translation. It's unfair to comment on poetry or lyrics that aren't being conveyed in their original language. Culturally they might be more meaningful in their original form.
So I'd ask you to consider this example:

Cheeky Girls (performed by The Cheeky Girls)

Cheeky girls…………
Ooh boys cheeky girls
Ooh girls cheeky boys
Ooh boys cheeky girls
Ooh girls cheeky boys
Ooh boys cheeky girls
Ooh girls cheeky boys
Ooh boys cheeky girls
Ooh girls cheeky boys

I never ever ask where do you go
I never ever ask what do you do
I never ever ask what’s in your mind
I never ever ask if you’ll be mine
Come and smile don’t be shy
Touch my bum this is life.

Oooooh

We are the cheeky girls
We are the cheeky girls
You are the cheeky boys
You are the cheeky boys
We are the cheeky girls
We are the cheeky girls
You are the cheeky boys
You are the cheeky boys

Hhmm cheeky cheeky

Yes, you might argue, but again there's a language barrier here. Perhaps Pinky and Perky (NB - Ashley, check the correct names of the Cheeky Girls before posting this blog) who do not have English as their first language, were unfamiliar with the words they were singing. This example includes repetition, rhyme, sound structuralism and an example of a tripartite reduplicative. But, personally I think this is proof that song lyrics cannot be universally compared with poetry.

However, if you’re still not convinced (and this is one of my personal NSFW favourites):

F**k the Pain Away by Peaches

Sucking' on my t*tties like you wanted me
Calling me, all the time like Blondie
Check out my chrissy behind
It's fine all of the time
What else is in the teaches of peaches?
Like sex on the beaches, Huh? What?
[REPEAT]

Huh? Right. What? Uhh
Huh? What? Right. Uhh
[REPEAT]

SIS IUD, stay in school 'cause it's the best
IUD SIS, stay in school 'cause it's the best
IUD SIS, stay in school 'cause it's the best
IUD SIS, stay in school 'cause it's the best

Sucking' on my titties like you wanted me
Calling me, all the time like Blondie
Check out my chrissy behind
It's fine all of the time
Like sex on the beaches
What else is in the teaches of peaches? Huh? What?

F*ck the pain away. F*ck the pain away
F*ck the pain away. F*ck the pain away
F*ck the pain away. F*ck the pain away
F*ck the pain away. F*ck the pain away
F*ck the pain away. F*ck the pain away
F*ck the pain away. F*ck the pain away
F*ck the pain away. F*ck the pain away
F*ck the pain away. F*ck the pain away
F*ck the pain away. F*ck the pain away

Call me a snob but, if any of those above are considered poetry, they are surely examples of bad poetry.

NB - and if you're looking for examples of good writing, check out the blog for this student: http://www.megansyearofthedragon.blogspot.co.uk/ 

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And road rage and Spike and nationalism and swearing and dancing

 by Ashley Lister

 Below are five things I don’t tell people about myself:

1) I’m a lousy driver. I drive in a state of constant road rage. Sitting next to me whilst I’m in rush hour traffic is like sitting next to a sailor on shore leave, suffering from Tourette’s, trying to recite Eminem lyrics.

2) Out of our four dogs, I have a favourite: Spike. I appreciate that a good dog owner does not have favourites but I'm not a good dog owner and Spike is my favourite dog. He holds a position of esteem above all the other pets and some of the human members of the family. He is laid-back, possesses a pot-belly and has a weakness for chocolate biscuits. I think we have a lot in common. Except only one of us eats turds.

3) I love to display the Union Flag because I have national pride but I worry that it makes me look like a racist or a sport enthusiast: neither of which are looks I would wish to cultivate.

4) Whenever I’m writing short fiction I have a habit of starting too many sentences in the first draft with the word ‘and’. Obviously these instances of the word ‘and’ get deleted as the second draft is processed but they’re always there at the start, like clumsy thumbprints in moulded plaster.

5) I have a strong desire to learn how to do the Gangnam Style dance. Consideration and respect for my colleagues prevents me from attempting this.

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