Monday, 25 July 2011


Monday morning. The constant string of whirrs and whistles from my phone ensures that absolutely no more sleep can be had here and so, reluctantly, I am out of bed. Today is my 25th birthday. I am, for the first real time in my life, aware of my own existence and one day eventual demise. To this point in my life, it is becoming increasingly apparent that I have achieved precisely sod all. And I’m late for work, which comes as nothing of a surprise.

It is fair to say that, as with most birthdays post-eighteen, it means little to me. Other than a reluctantly ticking time bomb poking and prodding me from the inside out, you wouldn’t really know I was in my late twenties (optimism there, see). I get asked for ID on a weekly basis, still work part time and to be fair, could be any student you happen to cherry pick from a bar. In reality though, I’m starting to become an old man.

This time last week I was the most inspired I have been for weeks. Returning from Latitude with a clutch of ideas just waiting for a paper home and I’m happy to say, some of those refugee thoughts made it out alive. ‘Location/Environment and Writing’ is a theme that fits most appropriately with my thoughts and, to be honest, I wish I was back under canvas. Or, actually, in my shed. Or in my car. Basically, I will write if I’m somewhere pretty. Here, I can’t find the motivation.

The great post yesterday from Fiona Pitt-Kethley got me thinking. I’m not in a position to move. The writing isn’t jumping out at me and so, how the hell can I do all of these things. I don’t quite feel a novella coming on- I don’t really know what direction I’d take that. So, in true Apprentice style, I’m going to try and print some money. Whoring myself out to the world of the ‘ooh, there is a gap in the kindle market there’ - I’m going to see just what happens with a little bit of effort and a lot of carrot-stick-chasing.

I figure, if six of the country’s worst business brains can impress Lord Sugar with some meowing and giggling, I can fill a gap in the market selling some e-books. I don’t know yet what the market is. I don’t know what I’ll write but, with experience as a football journo behind me, I am more than willing to plough out some rhetoric in search of a $0.49 profit.

I’m aiming for a vegan ice-cream out of the experience and any gain over and above that will be kept aside. Maybe, I’ll be in Spain one day. Maybe a new shed. All I know is that any kind of writing beats twiddling thumbs waiting.



Ashley R Lister said...

Happy Birthday you old bastard.

Great post -



Ste said...

Happy Birthday Shaun. Speaking as an Arsenal fan, I think there's a huge gap in the market for a fantasy piece where Arsene Wenger splashes some cash, buys Samba, Cahill, Jagielka, Mata, Lukauku, Schneider, retains Fabregas and Nasri and eventually has Messi banging on the door begging to be signed. I'd pay good money for that little daydream right there ;)

Lisa Gilbride said...

^ That sounds like a plan. "Fantasy Football: Fan Fiction for the Footy Fanatic." It'd work really well as a graphic mini-series and if you sold advertising in the back few pages you could probably cover the printing for a sample batch then pitch them as inserts.

Happy birthday, Shaun. Great post as usual.