Saturday, 6 October 2012

Dying for a Daffodil

00:00:00 Posted by Ashley Lister , , , , , 6 comments

 by Ashley Lister 

 Mention the Lakes to me and there is only one poem that pops into my memory. I suspect it’s the lines of verse at the forefront of most people’s thoughts when they’re associating poetry and Lake District.

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

I mention Wordsworth’s Daffodils because, this week, I’ve been unable to put much forethought into my blog post. I’ve been stricken with a cold bug that’s on the verge of developing into a terminal case of man-flu. If this condition does prove fatal, the following parody on Daffodils shall serve as my epitaph.

I sobbed and coughed and moaned and whined
And stuffed bog paper up my nose
And languished on my fat behind
Whilst watching television shows
And miserably I cried all day
And wished my cold would go away.

I took painkillers every hour
I mainlined bowls of chicken soup
But every taste just tasted sour
And chicken soup just makes me poop
So there I lay feeling so shitty
And wallowing in my own self-pity.

And every conversation’s killed
By hateful, painful coughing fits
And drinks are regularly spilled
It’s really getting on my tits.
This damnéd cold just drags and drags:
I’m drowning under old snot rags.

Now you may say I’m an evil cow

But one goal keeps me alive.
It broils beneath my fevered brow
And makes me desperate to survive.
If I achieve recovery:
I’ll kill who gave this cold to me.
Ashley (cough splutter) Lister


Lee Howell said...

Hope you're feeling better soon Ash. xxx Hugs xxx

Sheilagh Dyson said...

Well, it cheered me up! Get well soon. xx

Sheilagh Dyson said...

Well, it cheered me up! Get well soon. xx

Ashley R Lister said...

Lee & Sheilagh,

Thanks for the good wishes. I'm feeling a little better this morning, so it shouldn't be too long until I recover and stop wallowing in self-pity.


Adele said...

Sorry you are really porrly.

I thought I had man-flu once - turned out to be mad cow's disease. Many men can't get it apparently - I believe it's because they are pigs. Not you sweetie - you're a pussy cat! Get well soon.

Ashley R Lister said...

Thanks for the get well wishes :-)