Thursday, 30 June 2016

Science Fiction - May the Life Force be with you.

All right - I know this is later than I usually post but life is pretty hectic at the moment. My family and other alien specimens have travelled form all corners of the known universe to celebrate what my 96 year old Mum has assured us will be her 'Last Birthday.' Now far be it from me to suggest that this is a bit of misnomer but Mum has been telling me this since I was 16 - so if I am inclined to scoff, it is not without prior experience in such matters.

Since she informed me of her impending termination of Life on Earth, I have been scouring shops and on-line suppliers for an appropriate 'For your Last Birthday' card. Well I thought it might be nice for my siblings, their life partners, children and grandchildren to know that, at last she is making arrangements to go back to her home planet. It seems fitting somehow that were more than happy to supply the card. I am just waiting for her to tell me her departure date so that I can start planning my own future.

Once she has embarked on her journey to the stars, I may re-engage with the George Lucas productions that I enjoyed in an earlier version of myself. Perhaps I'll go 'Back to the Future' and attend a Star Wars convention - but I don't want to queue round the block to get in.  Queuing was so Seventies! I may dust off my son's collection of boxed figures and sell them on EBay while he's in The Canarias experiencing the Tatooine landscape for himself.

After more than five decades on this crazy planet, I think I am qualified to confide that there are more wierdos living here that any science fiction writer could possibly imagine. A short walk along Blackpool promenade on any Saturday night will prove my point. There is no broader cross-section of the supposed human condition to be found anywhere else on earth. Oh and we are soon to host a Star Wars Exhibition - so it seems likely that the costume crew will soon be gracing our streets with their homemade (or virtually purchased) light-sabres. I look forward to the day that a fully grown idiot dressed as Jar Jar Binks is arrested for being drunk and disorderly and has to be rescued by Han Solo in a pedal driven Millennium Falcon.

And there it is. In two small simple words. The reason for my return to Star Wars as a fan after 30 odd years. Han Solo - AKA - Harrison Ford. He is the unrequited love of my life. I want him to take me beyond our solar system, to an enchanted place inhabited by Ewoks. Europe is no longer an attractive option and most of the rest of the world seems to be at war. Whichever star Harry would like to take me to will be perfect. I have decided to forgive him for taking up with that skinny bird.  We all make mistakes. Do you know - I think that I can already feel a convergence in The Force. Better go and get my costume ready... there's the sun, the moon and Harry...

Seriously though folks.  Most science-fiction leaves me cold. When it comes to science, I would rather have the facts. Now there is this man called Professor Brian Cox - he has away of explaining stuff that is just - well you know...


I’m speeding round the sun today at 30K per sec,
No wonder it’s so hard for me to write.
I’m lapping Mars in retrograde.
He’s slow and I don’t see him every night.
There are many slower planets sitting in the outside lanes,
I see them in the darkness,
I even know their names.
I marvel at them every time I pass.
Travelling in celestial clockwork,
how they seem belies their mass.
I am pillion on a planet that’s designed to such specifics,
It keeps me fed and watered and in comfort for the ride,
tilted at the perfect pitch towards a mighty power,
that seasonally warms me and then warms the other side.
For eons, man believed the Earth was central to it all,
a theory that served the purpose of religion, after all.
But when he saw Mars charge the sky,
then loop into reverse,
Copernicus declared us heliocentric.
The Papal frock was hoisted.
They said he was eccentric
but science was born to lead them into light.

And so we race around the sun,
As other planets do.
That’s why we’re here.
That’s why we are.
The Earth.
And me.
And you.

Thanks for reading. Hope to see you all soon. Adele