To His Recently Married Mistress

 by Ashley Lister

This is a poem I read at a recent Dead Good Poets event. I've repeated it here (this week) because I think it summarises my thoughts on sad Valentines.

To His Recently Married Mistress

(an addendum to Marvell’s poem)

Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime.
We would sit down and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love's day;

But you’ve got plans until tommora

Watching Emerdale, TOWIE, Corra

Walking dogs, delousing cats

Shopping for shoes and women’s hats

Trawling round Asda. Then Tesco.

Complaining that the muggles are too damned slow

Checking out eBay, threatening to cook

Moaning about some shite from FaceBook

Tweeting bollocks (through GoodReads)

Bitching at the crap in your news feeds

Moaning always – around the clock

Doing any damned thing to avoid my cock.

Had we but world enough, and time again.

I’d likely do your sister – or perhaps I’d just do men.

Ash