The Heeby Jeebies

Like Vicky I suffer from episodes of anxiety, and again usually after the storm has died down after a negative life experience. Unlike Vicky I haven't yet found tools that help me with this. But my pure panic sets in during public speaking and more so during tests such as my driving test. I'm a capable driver but have failed my driving test 7 times, my Scooter test once, and the feeling is always the same. Terror.

I have a similar fear of reading my work out and writing on-line, but it's more manageable. I think the reason for this is because as a teen I wrote to deal with things in my life I couldn't change. Home was very difficult. My mum was an alcoholic and my dad couldn't deal with it in any other way than anger and violence. So every day I went to the library at school before school, during breaks and dinner, and for as long as I could after school. And I wrote. There was no real structure, I wrote whatever my imagination told me to. I claimed to be writing a book but would probably cringe myself inside out if I had to reread it now. It was clichéd, without any real plot-line and had stone circles and mystical elements. It was shite but it was what got me through every day. Which is why I continue to write whenever I can, to regain that elation of being completely lost in what I write. I'm now daunted by plot-lines, structure, and literary writing a little but I'm keen to keep learning and actually finish something that isn't a rambling ream. I write to escape, and it's the only thing I really know that helps when the shit around me gets too much. So I write and will keep writing, even if it is a bit crap.

In other news here's a comic wot I found on t'interwebs.