I recall getting
engaged, finishing my degree, getting married, moving to the opposite end of
the country and then starting a new job all within the space of a couple of
months. When we arrived on the Wirral in Merseyside, we wondered why we were
finding it difficult to adjust and
manage the new situation. There was no thought from anyone else that this might
have been a stressful time for us, or that we might need some time to get used
to all the changes.
We managed to
muddle through together and in some ways it has made us appreciate each other
more and the times we have now here in Blackpool in semi-retirement where life
is much less stressful and much more enjoyable.
Thankfully now,
most people are more aware of the need to provide help and support if someone
is struggling with stress. If you are stressed, my encouragement would be to
find someone to talk to about it (we got by through talking with each other).
There are talking
therapies available if you don’t have a partner or a friend you can share with.
Also, see if there is any way you can change your
situation if it is that which is causing you stress, although this may not be
possible. I was in a job for several years where someone tried to bully me and
I had to continue in it for the family’s sake for a few years.
Above all, cut
yourself some slack and don’t feel bad
if you are struggling mentally or physically with stress. Everyone will at
different times in their lives, so you are not on your own.
Unhappy at work, 15 points
Change of residence, 17 points
Change in number of arguments with partner, 33 points
Death of a relative, 50 points
Need
I go
on?
See
how easily
the score
calculates
and many
of us
I know
find this
reckoning
a reason
for stress
in itself.
If no
cause to cry
is at hand,
treat yourself
to a good
sob
during a film
to release
toxins,
though not
every
tear-jerker
matches
the real thing;
proteins
in
each
drop
don’t
always
reduce
pain.
Thanks for reading, David.
I conclude with a
new poem on theme:
Mindful of Stress
Consider this chart:Unhappy at work, 15 points
Change of residence, 17 points
Change in number of arguments with partner, 33 points
Death of a relative, 50 points
Need
I go
on?
See
how easily
the score
calculates
and many
of us
I know
find this
reckoning
a reason
for stress
in itself.
If no
cause to cry
is at hand,
treat yourself
to a good
sob
during a film
to release
toxins,
though not
every
tear-jerker
matches
the real thing;
proteins
in
each
drop
don’t
always
reduce
pain.
Thanks for reading, David.
3 comments:
My (first) wife and I got married on a Saturday and moved house two days later. We lived on champagne and wedding cake for a week while we got everything straight in the new place and then went on honeymoon. I don't recall it being stressful at all, being young and happy. A few years later I was in Sainsbury's with my daughter buying wine for a Christmas party and I'd taken along an old cardboard box from the basement to put the bottles in. I wondered why people were giving us funny looks until I noticed it said More F*cking Books on the box in bold magic marker pen.
Being able to share the pressures of life certainly helps, and talking is key as you say. Just the act of articulating worries and pressure can help make it less stressful.
I enjoyed your blog and poem. Thank you David.
Interesting blog. It's all about the balance. A certain level of stress is good as a motivator. Too much and it becomes an inhibitor. It's a bit like mastering clutch-control when learning to drive and finding the engine's sweet point. Should be taught in schools as a life skill - maybe it is.
Being bullied at work is more common than people may think. I used to deal with this problem fairly regularly when I was a Union Rep in hospitals - of all places. So joining a Union gives a chance to fight back and a friendly shoulder to lean on and chat about problems. Not every one has a sympathetic partner.
But I agree that a bit of stress can motivate yourself.
Also I found ( find? ) that writing a poem about the situation can help. I remember being stressed when I split up with a girlfriend 20 years ago. Very stressed. But now the pain of the break up has gone and I've got thirty or so poems from it. A result.
Absolutely superb poem as usual from David.
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