written and posted by members of Lancashire Dead Good Poets' Society

Saturday, 8 April 2023

Heels

The first thought that sprang to mind when I saw this week's theme of heels was Achilles, Greek hero of the Trojan war. Legend has it that his mother, the water goddess Thetis, wanted to make her demi-god infant son (i.e. sired by a human father) immortal, so she dipped the baby in the river Styx, holding him by his left heel, to confer invulnerability on him. As a result, the only place where he was vulnerable was that part of him that didn't get immersed. The careless goddess should have swapped hands/feet and made sure his left heel got dipped as well!

Of course, as everyone was taught in school (at least in my day), inevitably Achilles eventually met his death when he was wounded in that left heel by a divine arrow fired from the bow of Paris (see below) and Achilles' heel subsequently entered common usage as a metaphor for the weak spot in an otherwise strong person.

Achilles mortally wounded in the heel
The story of heroic Achilles is told in Homer's 'Iliad', though not the manner of his death; that was left to other writers (including Euripides).  And dig around in some other works of Ancient Greek folklore, as I have done, and further, different and intriguing stories emerge of his mother's conniving attempts to protect her son from harm.

One of the strangest, and I've taken it as the catalyst for my latest monologue poem (spoken by Odysseus), runs as follows: In order to keep Achilles safe from involvement in the Trojan War, Thetis had her son disguise himself as a young woman and sent him/her to live at court among the daughters of King Lycomedes of Skyros (an island in the Sporades). There Achilles apparently made a very presentable princess, with flowing chestnut hair and shapely legs.(S)he also fathered two children with Lycomedes' daughters; (in one account rape was alleged). Odysseus had been warned by the prophet Calchas that Troy could only be defeated with the help of Achilles, so Odysseus disguised himself as a merchant selling women's clothes and went to Skyros to 'out' the hideaway. By subterfuge he tricked Achilles into revealing his true identity and then flattered him into joining the campaign against the Trojans, promising him everlasting fame (QED). 

Achilles' Heels
Oh dear.
What have we here?
A princess with an apple
and a spear tottering
on Achilles' heels.

Time to dispense
with maiden's dresses,
shed the chestnut tresses
mummy's boy! There's
man's work to be done.

Here's armour 
for the fight, a helmet,
shield and flashing sword.
Make what farewells
you must on Skyros,

we leave for Troy 
at first light. Your fate
to help us wage a war to
win back Menelaus' whore
then taste eternal dust.

Because this has been a shortish blog and because I like Bob Dylan, although the connection is tenuous I'm linking in a YouTube clip of a Dylan song from his 'Blonde On Blonde' LP: Temporary Like Achilles

Thanks for reading, S ;-)

69 comments:

Nigella D said...

Well I never... amusing poem.👍

Binty said...

The lengths some mothers will go to!

Ben Templeton said...

Interesting. I hadn't heard that story of Achilles as hideaway before. Just one query regarding your entertaining poem, would Odysseus really refer to Helen as Menelaus' whore?

Charlotte Mullins said...

A fascinating and amusing read. I'm enjoying your series of monologue poems. Have you thought about a themed pamphlet?

Saskia Parker said...

Yes, silly goddess! I loved the poem.

Stu Hodges said...

Enjoyed your latest, Steve. It got me wondering if the myth of Achilles' immersion in the Styx is in any way related to later rites of baptism? I thought you might know. Loved your clever poem and good to have a dose of Dylan again.

Rochelle said...

I never knew that story of Achilles disguising himself as a princess. It's a clever poem :)

Billy Banter said...

Full of cunning tricks those Greeks. 😉

Laura Stavropoulou said...

The Achilleid by Statius tells a version of Achilles early life and time on the island of Skyros. It is available in English translation.

Rod Downey said...

An interesting read (as usual). Fate can never be outrun, eh? I like the poem (and "mummy's boy!" had me smiling).

Beth Randle said...

Fascinating. It's a super poem, though "eternal dust" doesn't sound like the greatest incentive going.

Ailsa Cox said...

Rape was alleged? 😱 Men can be heels!

Roger Wakeley said...

I've been to Skyros, a lovely little island. The poet Rupert Brooke died and is buried there. I enjoyed your poem.

Debbie Laing said...

Well well, that episode never got a mention in Tales of the Greek Heroes!

Peter Fountain said...

Enjoyed the blog and poem Steve. That first verse in particular - priceless! 👍

Tif Kellaway said...

Delightfully told. I love it. 🤎

Anonymous said...

Bravo Mr R.

Caitlin Shaw said...

OMG, fascinating stuff.

terry quinn said...

Never heard that story before either. Excellent research.

Did they have heels back then?

Poem is fun.

Sarah Kenniford said...

Fascinating. I remember seminar discussions at university about whether Achilles was bisexual or not (love for his friend Patroclus IIRC) but I'd never heard the Skyros story before. Well done with the poem, nice tone.

Lizzie Fentiman said...

Fabulous Steve, a cross-dressing hero. Very 21st century ;)

Martin Brewster said...

How very interesting. I'm not big on Greek myth (never read those Homer classics) but I was surprised by what I read here and enjoyed your poem.

Dan Francisco said...

I believe Achilles was a bit of a prima donna. Didn't he sulk and refuse to fight at one point? I really like the poem but Steve, query those last two lines (as some others commented).

Ross Madden said...

You show us Greek heroes in a new light! I enjoyed the poem and good to have a burst of His Bobness too.

Anonymous said...

"Beware the Greeks even when wearing heels!" 😂

Lois Marinoglou said...

Rape was quite a common event in Greek mythology. Usually it was Gods taking mortal women. In the stories about Achilleus on Skyros it is said he forced himself on Deidamia in her drunken sleep at the Festival of Bacchus. Your poem is comic.

Bella Jane Barclay said...

An eye-opener! Well done, this hit just the right note for me.

Poppy Deveraux said...

Excellent! I loved it.

Steve Rowland said...

I took the poem to the Blackpool & Fylde Stanza group for advice as I wasn't wholly satisfied with a couple things in the last verse myself (referring to Helen as 'whore' and then that whole final line - how to convey succinctly that Achilles would die but earn lasting fame). In the end I've changed just one word and am happy with it now.

I did follow up on Laura Stavropolou's suggestion and I ordered The Achilleid by Statius from Amazon. I look forward to reading that shoetly.

Emily Blythe said...

Fascinating. It's a really clever poem. "Tottering" is such a descriptive word.

Brizette Lempro said...

Simply the best thing I've read all week. A treat for Sunday morning with croissants and coffee. 👏

Sahra Carezel said...

Surprised, a bit shocked, definitely amused.

Nicci Haralambous said...

Oh dear! My ancestors! (LOL) A most entertaining read. 💙

Tom Shaw said...

Enjoyed your blog Steve. What did Bob Dylan think he knew about Achilles?

Jade Keillor said...

That was an enlightening read and a fun poem.

Jenny Carstairs said...

Gosh, fascinating. I loved your monologue poem.

Deke Hughes said...

Such goings on. Well done with the poem (though not sure about the last line).

Anonymous said...

Little Myth Achilles!

Toni Gresham said...

I read a commentary on the 'life' of Achilles that claimed he only agreed to the princess deception so he could get among the king's daughters.

Amy Fletcher said...

A divine arrow. I feel a sense of loyalty to the weapon (if you know what fletcher means). He had it coming to him anyway.

Becca Riley said...

I love the way you tell them and it's a great poem, comic but with a dark undertone. Bob Dylan though, he can't really sing, can he?

Mark II Ford said...

Well that's an intriguing reveal, and a super poem you've made of it.

Angelos Messaris said...

Great poem.👍 There are several conflicting accounts of Achilles' early life, in at least one of which his mother just abandoned him (in marked contrast to the version you give us here).

Harry Lennon said...

Most entertaining. I enjoyed your poem.

Lynne Carter said...

Very funny poem. I wonder if Achilles was as good-looking as Cat Stevens.

Χλόη said...

Διασκεδαστικός :)

Davey Langan said...

From memory of reading of The Iliad, Achilles had one child, a son called Neoptolemus (born and raised on Scyros), but you mention two children. Who was the other and what's the evidence? Well done with the poem btw.

Andy D. said...

"a princess with an apple and a spear" - genius! 👏

Tony Sedgwick said...

Fascinating, funny and faintly unsettling.

Steve Rowland said...

Davey: Eustathius wrote as follows - “You should know that while Homer and many other authors say that the only child of Achilles and Deidameia was Neoptolemos, Demetrios of Ilion records that there were two, Oneiros [“dream”] and Neoptolemos. They say that Orestes killed Oneiros in Phôkis accidentally and when he recognized what he did, he built him a tomb near Daulis. He dedicated the sword he killed him with there, and then went to the “White Island”, which Lykophron calls the “foaming cliff”, and propitiated Achilles.”

Tim Collins said...

Amazing, I never knew this. Great poem.

Nick Ball said...

That's insane! What an intriguing read. Brilliant poem too. Well done Steve.

Kate Betzeli said...

We have history!

Rosie Lucas said...

I wonder why that episode never got a mention in the school books of Greek heroes! (LOL) I love what you did with the poem.

Βέρα Κλαρέβα said...

Πολύ αστείο!👏

Kimberley Clark said...

Most entertaining. Thank you much for the share.

Molly Holliday said...

A fab read. When your mum's a scheming goddess... "That's another fine dress you've got me into!" 😉

Mitch Carragher said...

Clearly having no nonsense, that Odysseus. This was most enjoyable Steve.👍

Daisy Lockyer said...

Very good.

Steve Rowland said...

According to Statius in the 'Achilleid', Achilles only agrees to his mother's plan to disguise him as his sister when he sees Lycomedes' beautiful daughters, and the opportunity feigning being a girl will give him to get up close and personal with the princesses.

Stelios K said...

High drama in Greek camp! 😂

Colin Faulkner said...

Thoroughly entertaining.

Vasiliki Tsangari said...

Delightful.

Brett Cooper said...

Achilles as a sheila, that cracked me up.

The Existentialist said...

You say the careless goddess should have dipped Achilles' other heel - but she was fated not to. That's how fate worked for the Greeks and no way round it. I enjoyed your poem though, clever and funny.

Tony Morrell said...

Fascinating and funny, such a clever poem. Thanks for the Bob Dylan bonus as well.

Anonymous said...

Instructive. Fate cannot be outmanoeuvred. Good poem.

Jack Pressley said...

Brilliant! Ha ha ha. Thanks for the Dylan bonus as well.

Steve Rowland said...

It's not a themed pamphlet Charlotte, but Achilles' Heels is the opening poem in my poetry collection 'From the Imaginarium', published next month ;-)