Journal - Dear Kitty

I was gifted a five year diary when I was about fourteen. Someone, an adult, made unkind remarks about me and diary keeping. I was a sensitive soul and the book remained untouched in a drawer for a year.

I started to write a diary, or journal when I was fifteen. From age seventeen, I missed a lot of years when recording my life on paper wasn’t a priority. I wish it had been, then I could look back on events, see the person I was and compare myself with who I am now. Life is what makes us who we are. Life throws things at us and how we deal with those ups and downs shapes us. Ideally, we learn from life’s experiences, good and bad, and avoid repeating mistakes. No need to beat ourselves up if we don’t get it right. It’s a shame I don’t have the missing bits written down, but there was a time when keeping a diary got me into a spot of bother and another time when it caused me great embarrassment, so perhaps it is a good thing. Why, then, I wonder, do I bother to write a journal now, most days? I see it as therapeutic rather than self-indulgent and hopefully it’s a therapy that does me good and creates memories to read back on. For me, that is. I can’t imagine anyone else being interested.

When Anne Frank began writing to Kitty, she had no idea of the impact those two years of her recorded life would eventually have on the rest of the world. She received a diary for her 13th birthday in June, 1942. A month later, she and her family were in hiding. Her ‘Dear Kitty’ diary entries tell of her hopes and dreams and her adolescent awareness as she developed an attraction for Peter van Pels, who shared the hiding place with his family. She wrote of personal relationships with her family and Peter’s family, her fear of discovery and worries about the disappearance of Jews. Anne died in Belsen concentration camp in 1944. She was fifteen years old. Her diary, discovered by her father, was first published in the UK in 1952, as ‘Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl’. I have laughed and cried my way through that book. It is more than special.

There are many novels written in the epistolary form. I’ll mention a few favourites. ‘The Tenant of Wildfell Hall’ by Anne Bronte is framed round letters from the character Gilbert Markham to his friend about events connected with his meeting with the character Helen Graham, the tenant. ‘The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 and Three Quarters’, by Sue Townsend, is written as a diary. ‘Dracula’ by Bram Stoker, based on letters and newspaper articles is a Gothic horror story which has done a lot for Whitby tourism.

My Haiku,

Secrets coded in
Fountain pen and turquoise ink,
When I was fifteen.

In difficult times,
Between neatly written lines
Are tears of despair.

Cutting my own path,
Italics with flourishes
Speak of confidence.

Scribbled in biro,
Telling of the days events
With love and laughter.

“Look how far you’ve come!”
I remind myself to take
The best from each day.

PMW 2025

Thanks for reading, Pam x

Read More

The Matrix - Blackhouses Village

‘Matrix – the cultural, social or political environment in which something develops.’

My first glimpse of Gearrannan Blackhouse Village on the Isle of Lewis was breathtaking, almost tearful. We were up a slight hill by the coast looking down on the cluster of thatched, shallow built stone cottages and a lane weaving through to the shore. It was idyllic. I imagined being settled there with all my family, away from the stresses and strains and everything I would like to escape from in the real world. Through my rose-tinted glasses we would have an endless supply of provisions and enough skills between us to look after each other. How cosy and warm it would be, by the fire, inside a cottage with its 3ft wide walls.  I wondered what the attraction was to the original settlers. It’s windy on the Atlantic coast. Surrounding hills offered some, but not much shelter. As I remember, the last inhabitants were re-housed as recently as the early 1970s. The cottages are renovated and well maintained. One is now a café and gift shop, two or three are museums showing visitors like us how people lived. More like how they survived. The other cottages are holiday accommodation. The revenue helps with the up-keep and nothing has been spoiled. There is running water and electricity. The village is perfectly saved for the likes of us to have a tangible insight into life through the ages, and on-going with the successful holiday lets. From an early settlement it has developed into the modern world and continues to be a conservation area. Perhaps I’ll have an opportunity to stay there and live my dream for a moment.

Matrix – ‘Something, such as a situation or a set of conditions, in which something else develops or forms the complex social matrix in which people live their lives.’

I found this, by Amy Lowell:

The Matrix

Goaded and harassed in the factory
That tears our life up into bits of days
Ticked off upon a clock which never stays,
Shredding our portion of Eternity,
We break away at last, and steal the key
Which hides a world empty of hours; ways
Of space unroll, and Heaven overlays
The leafy, sun-lit earth of Fantasy.
Beyond the ilex shadow glares the sun,
Scorching against the blue flame of the sky.
Brown lily-pads lie heavy and supine
Within a granite basin, under one
The bronze-gold glimmer of a carp; and I
Reach out my hand and pluck a nectarine.

                                      Amy Lowell 1874 – 1925

 

Thanks for reading, Pam x

Read More