Friday, 27 April 2012

I attract Martyrs and Psychopaths.

I suffer from Catholic guilt without the Catholic part. My mum is Catholic but never brought us up to be, so I get the whole guilt without knowing why. It’s a constant feeling that maybe, everything is my entire fault. Not just a bit of it, EVERYTHING. The bin men are late, did I forget something? Did I get the day wrong? Do I have a degenerative brain disorder which made me get the time they are due wrong?
 If someone treats me badly, I spend hours wondering what I did to make them do that to me. Did I accidentally call them a wanker and not realise it? Did I kick them in the shins and forget I did it? Do I have a form of unconscious tourettes which I immediately forget afterwards? Or am I actually just defective? I question everything. Rather than think “What a tool” and put them on the Dickhead List, I beat myself up endlessly.  For those who never admit blame or feel guilt, I am a treat. They can simply just tell me it’s my fault and I shut up (I also tend to attract these folk as it makes them feel quite good about themselves, and a good percentage of mentally unstable people too).

But I’ve decided to start my own Dickhead List. Guilt is a wasted emotion, and is the least helpful one we can have. The people who should feel guilty at their actions never do, they are too busy blaming other people. So things are going to change. I am no longer taking on other people’s crap and letting them make me feel bad. I’m avoiding the petty minded, the self righteous, and the judgemental like the plague. I’m surrounding myself with happy, positive and funny people, (a little cynicism is ok) and you know what? It’s working, my mind is calm and my life is falling into place. No longer will my guilt be someone’s pleasure.


Ashley R Lister said...

I trust you'll spell my name right on your list :-)

A very zen approach to dealing with life's problems. I think you could expand this into a self-help book.


Lindsay said...

I can see the title of it now, instead of 'Bucket lists' it will be 'Dick Lists'. And if you say that really fast it sounds funny.

Ashley R Lister said...

That would hit the bestseller lists on its title alone.

Louise Barklam said...

I hope I don't feature on that list, yikes!

You're not alone Linz, I'm in the same boat, maybe that's why we've been friends for so long, kindred spirits and all that. ;-)

Hugs, Looby. x

Lindsay said...

I know Looby. They usually wait until life's dealt you a mighty kick in the proverbials before they start on you though. Kick you when your down and all that, it's much easier. But hey, when 'Dick Lists' is published you get a free copy of "Sod off somewhere else with your guilt trip" absolutely free!

Danielle Rose said...

you definitely have a best seller. As you know I to attract such undesirable twat bags. Now when I meet someone or look at their Twitter/facebook profile before said meeting, I whack them instantly on the dick head list until they give me a reason to think otherwise. ;] xxx

Lindsay said...

I now not only have a 'Dick List' but a 'Hilarious words and phrases I've stolen List'

1) Mingeabread
2) Twat Bags