written and posted by members of Lancashire Dead Good Poets' Society

Monday 27 August 2012

Hitting headlines.


Good evening,
After something of a strange week in the papers, one story has somehow managed to dominate the news. This week on the blog, we’re looking at ‘experience’, something which our third in line to the throne will know all about.
Yes, Prince Harry has been all over the radio, the internet and the gossip columns. We were drip fed reports of pictures, figured out pretty quickly that we could find it online should we want to and no doubt, TMZ notched up some cracking hits. And yet the British papers weren’t showing it, it all seemed terribly skewed. Well, right up until Murdoch’s lot printed the pictures, the story all seemed terribly exciting, didn’t it. The British media censored, the heir playing with balls, the…
Hang on just a second. What we’re talking about here is a 28 year old fella, who happened to be in his private room, having his photo taken covertly (we’re told against his will). This same photo was all over the internet, having been hyped to high heaven and once it is out, it is out isn’t it. This should have been the end of the tale. Instead, we had the somewhat perverse situation of just one paper deciding to print the pictures, against the media’s own guidelines. Sure, there is an argument that something all over the internet should be freely available in the press but actually, if you step back from the spin, it  is quite a big call to go from the act of searching to the act of showing.  
After all, there is real news out there. The Taliban are still in business, apparently. We’re somehow still in recession, despite spending more on bankers than nurses and in the grand scheme of things, what someone does on their holiday, in their private hotel room, with our without some cavorting little whores is their own business and as a country, we have other worries. It hacked me off as I’m sure you’ve gathered by now. So much so, I’ve knocked up a bit of a poem.
Note: this has intentionally been posted after 9pm UK time… don’t want to be thrusting bad words at children, do I.

Over Exposure.

Harry’s got his cock out
He parties with his schlong
He’s had Pippa in Nazi Cuffs
He’s pulling on a bong

The playboy prince in Paris
The royal in LA
The poolside ginger bastard
Is making Granny grey.

The papers get excited
The Palace goes to ground
5 Live holds a phone in
They really go to town.

And somewhere in amongst all this
great mass of ginger pubic bliss
high powered media mogul pricks
again over exposed us.

Soldiers die in endless wars,
We're overcrowding hospital wards
Our government are drawing swords
But Harry got his cock out.


Thanks for reading, S

2 comments:

Ashley Lister said...

Excellent poem.

And you raise a salient point about the fact that this nonsense is taking precedence over real news.

Insightful and sharp as ever.

Ash

Adele said...

I like Harry and I find it very hard to see how publishing the photo was 'in the public interest. If we extrapolate that kinky curve and argue that if it is on the internet it can be shown in the press - then surely there is a case for child porn on the front page.

I would get Murdoch back into court post haste.

Love the ironic poem though.