Monday, 17 September 2012

Pirates: A Cautionary Tale

This week on the blog, we'll be looking at the theme of Pirates. Looting, pillaging, drinking, dancing pirates- and I don't just mean the population of Manchester, which has been crowned illegal download capital of the UK. They know how to party there.

Apologies for the slightly late post: I decided to write a poem, based loosely on an experience from childhood. Those family holidays were well spent, let me tell you. Enjoy.


If you should find yourself ashore
an island divided in the Med
Take heed a Traveller's warning
Beware the one eyed head.

From the street, quick split our group was lifted
Set to sail on crowded deck
A land of golden sunrise promised
Free drinks provided until sunset.

Into a galleon bar we swayed
Our glasses over flowing with brew
The children were rounded around an old baise
Topped with the dullest of jewels.

Then in swooped the man with the motive
The ship's mate with swashbuckling pen
Bright pinbadge, sharp brochure, a real Mr Suave
Peddling his wares there and then.

We began to fear this was an ambush
Our captors it seemed, hearing no end
And the captain who steered home the one final push
Was an eyepatched old seaman called Ken.

These days Ken said he preferred finance
No danger, he said, no loose cannons,
Much rather a veranda with such red evening views
Drinking rum with a view to being hammered.

By sundown conversation had petered
Reluctantly, Ken let us go
Said he'd broken the rules he'd knocked so much off
No such offers in all Limassol.

So stand firm should they ever approach you
Selling timeshares and other such scams
I assure you, you'll lose a full day of your trip
Before taxiing home, head in hand.

Thanks for reading,



Ashley R Lister said...

We missed you last week.

Great start to a week of piracy, matey.


Shaun said...

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they aaaaaarghhh :)