Monday, 15 April 2013

Ladies or Gentlemen, dogs or cats?

09:09:00 Posted by Colin Davies , , , , , , , 3 comments

When it comes to aligning oneself with a team, be it football (I am a Manchester City fan ever since my Father met me Mother), or computers (I think Apple products look nice but are over priced), or phones (again, not Apple). But by far the one that will cause more arguments, more sarcasm to be thrown around, more name calling than any other is, cats or dogs?

In the majority of cases each camp would not like to see the other ill, it's more a “who's best?” war rather than total annihilation. They will harp on about loyalty (dogs) and independences (cats), stupidity (dogs) and intelligence (cats), good companions (dogs) and the evil with in your own home just waiting for the chance to kill you (cats)

I have owned both, more cats than dogs to be fair. I prefer looking after cats for the reason of not needing to be the centre of their attention all the time, makes them easier to look after, (feed, let out, let in, feed, and be there sometimes to pet). Dogs need you more (feed, walk, play, look at, are you still there, I'll get it, play, walk, feed)

But I think the major attributes we see in these animals that attracts us in a particular direction is gender. Not of the creature itself, but of the species.

All dogs are male, including the girl ones. And all cats are female, including the boy ones.

This is very true in language “He's a dog”, “Meow, she's got the claws out”. Yes a woman can be referred to as a “dog” but that is an appearance thing not a personality.
Here are two lists pointing out what I mean.
Proof that all dogs are male including the girl ones:
1. They are completely predictable. You know exactly what is going to happen in any given situation.
2. They are completely obsessed with their own, and other people genitals. And are rubbish at hiding the fact.
3. They can not hear you talking to them from 6 inches away but can hear a food packet being opened from a mile away.
4. Let them lye on the couch and it becomes theirs forever.
5. Test if something is bad for you by eating it to see what happens
6. If treated right will be loyal, if treated wrong may turn. In both cases prone to doing something stupid.
7. If upset, they don't say anything, just sulk and growl.
8. Bad smells emanate from their rear regularly
9. Will often consume large amount of stuff that's make them sick, look at you in a pathetic way telling you it will never happen again, then consume the same again the next night.

Proof that all cats are female including the boy ones:
1. Unpredictable. Think you know what's going to happen, guess again.
2. They expect to be worshipped all the time.
3. They look cute and frail but are quite capable of ripping off a nad snack with one swipe should you get something wrong.
4. When you call them, it's up to them whether they turn up or not.
5. They leave their hair all over the place, even in areas you think they've never been.
6. Will only greet you when you get home because they want to.
7. It is their opinion that you only exist on the earth to make they happy, when they want you to.

So is the real question, boys or girls?

Adabted from an original list obtained from by By Nury Vittachi"


Lisa McFleeca said...

By these definitions I am apparently a dog/bloke in preference and behaviour... Minus genital related issues due to a lack of danglies....

Cats are evil, Constantine had it nailed. My mum also thinks you should never date a "cat fella" because there's something dodgy about them! This also goes for someone who doesn't drink, someone who's tight and someone who keeps their coat near the kitchen because they will always smell like chip fat.

Enjoyed the post :-) x

Ashley R Lister said...

I think this sums up my thoughts on the subject this week. I might just post pictures on Saturday :-)


vicky ellis said...

We had a proper chuckle at this, thanks Colin :-)