Ye Moste Tragickal Historie of Blackpule FC

The last of our trio of Shakespeare-related themes is Tragedy. Herewith the sole surviving excerpt from a long-lost work, Ye Moste Tragickal Historie of Blackpule FC, author unknown, though experts have detected stylistic similarities with the work of Will.I.Am Shakespier and suggest that it might have been the inspiration for a more famous play. Read and weep...

Scene: night-time - a Fylde in Bloome litte by ye lighte of th'inconstant moon. Centre stage, a Football Fanne bedecked in tangerine favors stands gazing at ye Stadium from which an insubstantiall Spirrit issueth forth.

Spirrit: Mark me.
Fanne: I will.
Spirrit: The day is almost come
When I to sulph'rous and tormenting flames
Must relegate myself.
Fanne: Alas poor Spirrit.
Spirrit: Pity me not, but lend thy serious hearing
To what I shall unfold.
Fanne: Speak, for I am bound to hear thee.
Spirrit: So art thou to revenge my wrongs, when thou shalt hear of them.
Fanne: What sayest thou?
Spirrit: I am the verrie spirrit of thy Blackpule clubbe,
Doomed for a certain term to blighted depths.
I could a tale unfold whose lightest word
Would harrow up thy soul, freeze thy young blood,
Make thy two eyes like stars start from their spheres etc etc etc
Fanne: Angels of grace defend us. But speak on.
Spirrit: Know thou then that there is something rotten in this state of Blackpule.
My vital spirrit hath been most rankly abused
By those whose seeming virtue did a darker purpose hide.
O what a falling off was there when those in power
Did shamelessly contrive to unhouse the whole enterprise
And starve it of all life and hope for their own brute selfish ends.
Fanne: O my prophetic soul. I did suspect 'twas so.
O mismanagement most foul!
They did with candied tongues make promise of great deeds
All unfulfilled.
Spirrit: When all the time they did their fortunes build
Upon my best endeavours.
Blest are those whose blood and judgement are so well co-medled
That they are not a pipe for self-serving fingers to play a devilish tune.
I fear I have been played. I am undone by a most pitiful ambition
For they have almost suck'd this Blackpule clubbe like unto an empty husk.
So am I now condemned to fail and fade unless thou act on my behalf.
Fanne: What woulds't thou have me do?
Spirrit: O reform it altogether!

That's all, folks! No poem this time as I'm too busy with the upcoming Community Protest March & Demonstration (aka Judgement Day 2) scheduled for Saturday 30th April, starting at 10:30am outside the Blue Room (originally the Stanley Arms where Blackpool FC was formed) and processing through the town and along the promenade to Bloomfield Road. Do join us if you live within striking distance.

Thanks for reading. Have a good week, S ;-)