One thing that I can't get excited about is camping. Why anyone would want to go out into the middle of nowhere, spend hours putting up a tent, gathering up wood to build a fire and spending a restless night sleeping on a groundsheet, on the cold hard ground, is beyond my comprehension. Apart from that discomfort, I really don't like spiders and snakes!
Another outdoor activity that holds no temptation for me is white-water rafting. Just the thought of sitting in a flimsy rubber dingy while being thrown around by thundering, fast-flowing water fills me with dread. I certainly won't be embarking on that very soon.
I don't get fishing - why bother? Nor do I get mountaineering, Apart from my fear of heights and fear of falling to certain death or sustaining serious injury, I simply don't understand the idea that you climb a mountain 'because it was there'. When my children were younger, if I wanted that kind of excitement, I simply had to put my hands under the cushions on my couch. I called it Star-trekking, 'boldly going where no-one had gone before'.
I don't get fishing - why bother? Nor do I get mountaineering, Apart from my fear of heights and fear of falling to certain death or sustaining serious injury, I simply don't understand the idea that you climb a mountain 'because it was there'. When my children were younger, if I wanted that kind of excitement, I simply had to put my hands under the cushions on my couch. I called it Star-trekking, 'boldly going where no-one had gone before'.
How about a walk in the woods?
The Teddy Bear's Picnic
The Teddy Bear's Picnic
If you go down to the woods today
for camping or fishing
especially in North America
if you go down to the woods today
here are some points to remember
wild animals call the wild their home
deer and wolves and bears
when you decide to invade their territory
prepare very carefully.
Black bears and grizzlies
may be down in the woods today
with very different personae
black bears are shy and retiring
they will flee if you make a loud noise
so attach little bells to your clothing.
Grizzlies may choose to approach you
so carry a pepper spray with you
and discharge it into their eyes.
It is simple to identify
the species of bear by it's scat.
Black bears are vegetarian
so check it for berries and nuts
Grizzly bear scat, should you find it,
is easily recongised
it contains small bells
and smells of pepper spray
So don't go down to the woods today
or you may have to run for your life.
Thanks for reading. Adele
8 comments:
Attenzione all'orso! I've been following the story of brown bears in northern Italy. They were reintroduced into the wild in 1999 in the Trento region but recently a backpacker has been attacked and a jogger has been mauled to death. The jury is out on whether they should be culled. I enjoyed your cautionary Teddy Bears' Picnic poem ;-)
Cull all joggers! 😂
What did you find under the couch cushions?
I don't know about you but I get more cautious the older I get. I've no idea what possesses middle-aged people (55+) to go bungee jumping or rapids shooting. But I do like the outdoors when properly dressed for whatever the weather and I'd never trust a bear anywhere!
One of those Sunday afternoon tv appeals caught my eye recently, about bears in Asia that are kept captive in squalid pens so their bile can be farmed! How horrendous. Apparently bear bile is a big thing in traditional Asian medicine. It made me feel quite sick. Sorry to go off on one! I did enjoy reading your blog and poem.
Thank heavens someone else dislikes camping as much as me. I don't mind sleeping under stars as long as they are 5 Star.
Excellent poem.
We only went camping once, what a wash-out. Never again. (Love the roaring bear.)
You only need to be able to run faster than the slowest person. 😉
Post a Comment