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| As it's Christmastime... |
This is what Holly suggests:
‘While seated, wait for the hostess to remove her napkin first. Follow her lead and then, place yours on your lap, unfolding it below the table (no shaking it with a flourish). The fold faces you.
When there is a napkin ring, remove it by pulling it toward you. Then, place it to the left of your place setting. (Traditionally, a napkin ring is used for family, houseguests, or for informal dinners.)
If you must excuse yourself, place your napkin on your chair (if it is an upholstered seat, leave the soiled side facing up). By doing so, you are discreetly not calling more attention that you have left the table. The other option, which I do not condone, is leaving it on the table to the left of the dinner plate. Who wants to look at your napkin?
At a private dinner party, wait for the hostess/host to determine when dinner is over. What does one appropriately do with their napkin, then? I will let you in on a little secret! Here is the old-school signal to your hostess that you know the proper way to leave your napkin after dinner: Fold your napkin similarly to how and where it was placed when you arrived at the table (unless it is a rather challenging fold, i.e., The Duchess Fold).
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| Folding lesson |
The easy and proper method is to simply fold your napkin into a rectangle, and place it to the left, where the forks were originally placed. Most guests just plop their napkins to the left or in the middle of their place, without folding them. Truth be known, a seasoned hostess will know which guests know this old-school signal, and smile as they acknowledge their adeptness and polish when they view the empty table after the guests have departed.
If you are at a restaurant, not a private house, it is appropriate to leave your napkin in a casual-loose semi-fold. Leaving a balled-up napkin pile on the table is not appropriate. And, remember, for both private parties and restaurant dining, slide your chair back under the table when leaving.
Forbidden Faux Pas:
No-No: To place a fork on top of a napkin. The only exception to this rule is if you are dining outside, with the possibility that wind would require you to weigh down the napkin, and a fork would keep it from blowing away.
No-No: Wiping your entire mouth with a napkin.
What is done: Lightly dab the corners of your mouth, using the inside of the napkin, so that any marks are not visible on the outside. Ladies, try your best not to get lipstick on the linen napkin as a courtesy to the hostess.
No-no: To place a napkin standing up inside a wine glass.’
Well, I’m pleased that all that is settled now. You have no excuse for being shunned in the circles you move in.
Incidentally, whilst I was looking for these details I came across the fact that there is actually a name related to all the above and that is Tablescape. Who knew?
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| A useful napkin |
Holy Thursday
They're kindly here, to let us linger so late,
Long after the shutters are up.
A waiter glides from the kitchen with a plate
Of stew, or some thick soup,
And settles himself at the next table but one.
We know, you and I, that it's over,
That something or other has come between
Us, whatever we are, or were.
The waiter swabs his plate with bread
And drains what's left of his wine,
Then rearranges, one by one,
The knife, the fork, the spoon, the napkin,
The table itself, the chair he's simply borrowed,
And smiles, and bows to his own absence.
Long after the shutters are up.
A waiter glides from the kitchen with a plate
Of stew, or some thick soup,
And settles himself at the next table but one.
We know, you and I, that it's over,
That something or other has come between
Us, whatever we are, or were.
The waiter swabs his plate with bread
And drains what's left of his wine,
Then rearranges, one by one,
The knife, the fork, the spoon, the napkin,
The table itself, the chair he's simply borrowed,
And smiles, and bows to his own absence.
Paul Muldoon (1951 - )
Terry Q.
Terry Q.
5 comments:
I'm well impressed by that Christmas tree napkin! And shocked at my own uncouthness (LOL).
Ha ha. Thank goodness for old-school Holly Holden, though she would not approve of that napkin on a plate! It's a fine poem.
An interesting read. I'm not familiar with Paul Muldoon. I suppose that Holy Thursday is a reference to the Last Supper?
Judging by those 'rules' of napkin etiquette, most of the world transgresses! A good choice of poem.
We are indebted to you Terry, and to Ms Holden of course, for enriching our impoverished lives with the niceties of napkin usage. I must confess we did have proper napkins at our Christmas Day dinner - and a matching table runner!
And that's an excellent choice of napkin-related poetry.
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