Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Josh Knows Best.

06:00:00 Posted by Lara Clayton , , , , , , , 4 comments

This week’s theme ‘Comedy in Poetry and Writing’ has proved challenging. It has been difficult for one reason: I’m not funny. This isn’t a hyperbole to orchestrate a stream of ‘yes you are’ comments, it’s the truth, I’m really not funny (to adults at least). However, there is one person that I can always make laugh, but he’s two years old.

The inspiration for this post comes from my two-year-old nephew Josh. I considered filming my operatic version of The Gruffalo by Julia Donaldson, before realising that my out of tune notes and gangly skips are probably only appreciated by Josh. I wondered if sharing Poetsaurus – a scary dinosaur that stomps around the lounge reciting rhyming couplets – was a better idea, but realised it wasn’t. Therefore, I decided not to share my silliness with you. Instead, I thought I’d share a collection of haiku – inspired by a two-year-old who is far funnier than me.

From the perspective of a two-year-old

When feeding the ducks
Don’t bother throwing the bread –
Just eat it instead

If you want to see
Things from a new perspective
Then stand on your head.

Unscrew the rose head
Because it means that you can
Water more quickly.

Fake, painted, plastic
Food looks good enough to eat...
Take a massive bite!

What is pretentious?
I just really, really like
Hummus and breadsticks.

Jigsaw puzzles aren’t
Difficult if you forget
About the picture.

Everything is red.
The grass is red, trees are red.
Everything is red!

Hide and Seek is great
when you hide in the same place –
You always get found.

How old are you Josh?
Can you say that you are two?
Three, four, five, six, eight.

Teaching a toddler
To say fork will result in
A four letter word.

It’s important to
remember to be polite
and always say ‘peas’.

A black dog lying
In the sun on a hot day
Is called a hot dog.

Thank you for reading,



Ashley R Lister said...

I want to see the operatic version of the Gruffalo. Great post.


Ste said...

Loved this post - everything is red! Started off very much like my one tomorrow would have tho so back to the drawing board for me! :D

Lindsay said...

I want to see the gruffalo too! I am very silly so I would love it. I love this post, as a mum of 3 and my youngest just coming up to 2 this was just perfect, summed it up beautifully. Loved the 'fork' one, we are having that one, along with 'clock'In fact I think they are all ace. Toddlers are brilliant.

vicky ellis said...

Sweet, funny and insightful. The simplicity of the two year old's perspective seen from an adult's observations is weirdly relaxing. It makes you realise how simple life really is if you forget about all the nonsense we tag onto it.

This post reminds me of the old chap on Antiques Roadshow who informed the expert that he had burned some very valuable wooden chairs. "They were only chairs." He reminded the shocked presenter. Quite so :)