Sunday, 5 February 2012

The Fish has a Gun

08:38:00 Posted by Damp incendiary device , , , , , , , 4 comments
by Raven Finn

I've been told to do a post about a desert island.
I find this pretty much impossible.
But desert islands are next to water.
And water has fish.
Fish are cute aren't they?
They just go '...o...o..o'
Well obviously slightly different to that but thats the shape their mouths make.
Turtles are cute too.
Awkward turtles aren't as cute though, more awkward then cute.
But some have eyes like Nicki Minaj in her new song.
That's just terrifying.
Imagine scuba diving and suddenly 'WOAH WHAT'S NICKI MINAJ DOING HERE WEARING NEXT TO NOTHING LIKE USUA- oh it's a fish.'
That would probably make the news.
Although most things make the news these days.
I saw a story on the news about a kitten with 10 toes on one paw.
Not exactly 9/11 is it?
Fish can't live on sand can they?
It would be strange if you just landed on a desert island inhabited by goldfish like 'Oh hi there, we ownz dis town, innit.'
I don't know why it's a gangsta it just seems appropriate.
Imagine if they had guns.
Well I'm never buying a fish now.



Ste said...

The phrase 'sharks with frickin laserbeams' comes to mind.

And that gangsta invasion may be closer than you think

Thanks for posting Raven, gave me a good laugh, especially bout the Nicky Minaj/scuba diving exploits

Ste said...

A mate of mine just sent me a response to this blog

vicky ellis said...

I really enjoyed being present for the making of this blog post:

"There's nothing to write about a desert island."
"Yes there is, you just need an angle. Think about desert islands, what comes to mind?"
"Nothing. They're rubbish. Desert islands don't even exist to ants because they're tiny and everything is massive to them."

Twenty minutes later...

"I know what I'm writing for the blog."
"I'm not telling you."

I was expecting ants. I got gangsta fish. I bloodly love the way my daughter's mind works. I hereby name today Surreal Sunday :)

Ashley R Lister said...


As Ste said - this is amusing and it made me smile too.

It also made me Google Nicki Minaj. I shall find a way to retaliate for that.