Birth Rights

George. It was a name that featured fairly prominently in our ‘potential children of the future list’. Links in the family, quite traditional, not as common these days… and then just like that, it was gone.

In the next few years the name is going to boom- there will be a George, a Georgie and probably a G in every classroom in the land. There’ll be so many the ever so sure of himself chancellor will probably think he had something to do with it. Well, Mr O, there is a smarter and more sensible bet for future leader of the country- and in a few years the little bugger is going to learn to talk.

Yes, the news of the royal birth is big- in the scheme of things. It was good, big news for about fifteen minutes- although what we’ve actually had is big headlines for an entire week of rolling news. There wasn’t a place you could turn in the UK this week that didn’t have some sort of acknowledgement there had been a successor born.

By rights given at birth, this child will go on to do everything he could ever dream of. He will have to go to work one day, he will have to behave in a certain manner and keep himself acting like an upstanding member of society if he is to live this lifestyle but, royal privilege aside, Prince George also has the right be like any other child in the country born lucky enough to have supportive and good hearted parents. HRH will just be a little bit ahead- with a guaranteed income and guaranteed position, as and when a vacancy comes around. He won’t ever, I suppose, have to spend a day fracking for a living.

But, those were not the only rights that the little prince was given at birth. We are all born free, innocent until proven guilty and with control over our own personal lives. We have the right to remain silent- we have the right to protest- we have the right to learn. Whilst I’m running a list off, can anyone confirm if we still have privacy?

I would hate to live in a world where it was deemed the norm to spy over someone’s fence or take photos of them in their car. If I was having a family there’d be no cameras, no visitors, no nothing without my say so. It is perhaps the firmest thing I would take a ‘not in my back yard’ approach to- (after the carving up of the earth’s core in order to turn the heating up). It would be no time for a Hugh Grant backlash and high time for a Russell Crowe style response. When Catchphrase Cameron announced his idea for a backdoor internet naughty list last week, he claimed it was for protection of children- and this same week we had a media scrum all after a royal baby photo. It hardly seems proper that children born tomorrow will have literally no rights at all. If the babies of today have to go through this and their parents computers have to be covertly vetted, where really is it going to end? Badly, I’d say.

What Right.

Give us your first born son, we want him now

We want to know the weight, the when, the how

We want the pictures, want a royal wave

Let’s get him out to front and centre stage.

We want to know his names- first, middle, last

and any other detail we might ask

We want him out on show, not tucked away

Could someone please confirm the Christening day?

We want to know which blankets in the pram

Will warm this little king with tiny hands

What was that brand of click in place car seat

And can we get all this on our high streets?

We want his face across our magazines

With every bit of trivia we’ve gleaned

We want his family tax records on show

We’ll buy it- we just really want to know

One last thing- if there’s walking in the park

Or public, please don’t do it after dark

We’ve imposed enough without needing the flash

We’d hate to be at fault if someone crashed.

Thanks for reading,
S