Taking tea, in Twickenham, at a little gate-leg table, in front of a fire, in a book-lined sitting room with Alexander Pope.... Or, in bed with John Donne. I didn’t mind which. Of course, I would have to be careful that I didn’t end up in bed with Alex and pouring a cuppa for John.
When the prompt came on Lancashire Dead Good Poets to write a poem about a fantasy dinner party I didn’t at first see it, having a week previously adopted a cat. The beautiful Ophelia, known as Fifi. My time was taken up with entertaining her. I really hadn’t given any thought to giving a dinner party.
However, a guest list immediately came to mind.
My fantasy dinner party
would be filled with phantoms
helping to solve a mystery or two.
Jack the Ripper would sit next to Jesus.
Tutankhamun with Edgar Allan Poe.
Shakespeare, Bacon, the dark lady,
let's sort it out once and for all.
Adam and Eve. Noah. Houdini.
The crew of the Marie Celeste.
Designers of the pyramids,
the architects of Stonehenge.
As women are under-represented,
Emily Dickinson and Old Mother Shipton
will be welcome to come and tell us
exactly what the dash they meant.
And You, the mystery man in my life,
of course, my phantom,
there's a place for you.
would be filled with phantoms
helping to solve a mystery or two.
Jack the Ripper would sit next to Jesus.
Tutankhamun with Edgar Allan Poe.
Shakespeare, Bacon, the dark lady,
let's sort it out once and for all.
Adam and Eve. Noah. Houdini.
The crew of the Marie Celeste.
Designers of the pyramids,
the architects of Stonehenge.
As women are under-represented,
Emily Dickinson and Old Mother Shipton
will be welcome to come and tell us
exactly what the dash they meant.
And You, the mystery man in my life,
of course, my phantom,
there's a place for you.
(JB 2021)
I might need a gavel to keep order, make sure they don’t all speak at once.
The catering could
be a problem. Ten is the max round my dining table and then only if you sit
knee to knee; so we would have to eat in relays. And I am not sure of any
dietary requirements so, perhaps, best if they brought their own.
I have drawn up an individual menu, the alternative’s bangers and mash.
The MenuJack the Ripper: raw steak, liver, kidneys.
Tutankhamun: oatmeal porridge, granary bread.
Adam and Eve: apple tart with syrup of figs
Noah: fish.
Jesus: a fish finger butty.
The crew of the Marie Celeste:
pickled herrings, lime and cucumber.
Edgar Allan Poe: hamburgers and fries
Shakespeare, Bacon, the dark lady:
crows’ feet and swans’ necks.
Houdini: a jacket potato.
Emily Dickinson:
corn - on - the - cob - with - a - saucer - of - butter.
Old Mother Shipton: used to cave dwelling,
bat soup, rock salt and dripping.
The ancient Egyptians and stone-age men are tricky,
best stick to jam sandwiches and salad.
My friend: custard creams and black coffee.
Myself: lavender cake and rose-water jelly.
(JB 2021)
Afterwards if there’s time we’ll play Charades.
Afterwards if there’s time we’ll play Charades.
Thanks for reading, Jeanie.
13 comments:
This was so entertaining. I love your sense of humour and funny poems :)
Very clever! 👏
So enjoyable I read it twice; I'd love to sneak into your fantasy dinner party! Perfect blog for a Friday evening ��☕
How I enjoyed this Jeanie. It's an assured debut, written with wit and great comic timing - one poet for the tearoom, another for the bedroom; 'Afterwards if there's time we'll play Charades'- brilliant touches. Your dinner party poems were clever and amusing, a neat idea to make them a pair. The whole piece (including tea and cake) was a delight and I hope you'll blog again.
Splendid. What fun devising those individual menus. Well done Jeanie.
Such fun, Jeannie. Definitely ticks my box.
Thank you xxx
The Menu poem - brilliant. I love it.
What splendid poems. I'd stick with the jam sandwiches.
This was such fun :) Well done.
Class!
What a rauchous collection of characters. Can I come too Jeanie.
A fun romp - clever!
:)
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