Here Comes the Weekend

 As a child I remember looking forwards to the weekends, but thinking back now, they weren’t the best times. Age eleven, I was miserable in my secondary school and Friday teatimes were wonderful. No school for two whole days. Saturday morning and I would will my parents to forget about my piano lesson. If it wasn’t mentioned, it didn’t exist. It didn’t work. The fated hour would be nearly upon me and I would be transported by my dad’s car to the home of the horrible man, subject of nightmares. I would sit rigid and hit the keys hard in a display of my anger. I hated every moment and each week I promised myself I would speak out and it would be my last. I never did. Sundays were bath, hair wash, Sunday School then the rest of the day would be family time. We would either be visiting or having visitors. It was always good and remained so until after tea. That was when the worry started. The sinking feeling of dreading school tomorrow, remembering the piece of unfinished homework, the maths I hadn't understood, the poem I forgot to learn by heart, the items for cookery I didn't ask for. I don't know why I looked forward to weekends at all.

In adult life, weekends offered a mix of welcome rest time after a hard week at work and being out and about socialising. A day out or sometimes a whole weekend away would be a good way to relax and enjoy something or somewhere different.

Becoming parents changed the way we planned weekends. Activities for the children were a priority even if it was just a play on the park and an ice cream. Junior football became my pet hate. I love the game, I always have, but some awful parents I encountered made my blood boil. It would upset me to witness five and six year old little lads having fun running with the ball, being seriously shouted at because they haven’t yet developed the skills some parents expected them to be born with. I would dread the times I had to take our little lad on my own. I would stand watching, keeping to myself.

Since retirement, the days are much the same and weekends disappear almost completely. We know it is Saturday when there’s a home match on and we’re in our places at Bloomfield Road. My husband is once again on the touchline at grassroots level, taking our football playing middle grandson to his matches. We’re starting to plan a few short breaks away with our caravan, but we tend to go midweek when places are quieter, so I suppose that becomes a kind of ‘weekend’ for us.

I remember Mackintosh’s Weekend, a boxed collection of mixed chocolates and posh sweets. They would be my mum’s and rarely shared. It’s the first thing I thought of when I saw the theme for this blog, so I had to mention it.

No poem today. Instead I share an excerpt of lyrics from ‘Here Comes the Weekend’, a Moody Blues song written by John Lodge,

Somewhere in the night
There’s a heart that beats so fast
I can feel the heat
Of the fire in your eyes,
Burning like a naked flame,
Waiting for the ice to break,
Counting down the days,
Waiting for the weekend.
Lonely is the night.
Silence is a friend to walk with,
With no one else to talk to.
Somewhere in the heat
There’s a heart that beats so fast
I can hear your voice,
Talk to me tonight.

Thanks for reading, Pam x

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Twilight - North and South

 

"Twilight - The soft glowing light from the sky when the sun is below the horizon, caused by the reflection of the sun's rays from the atmosphere."

We enjoyed a break away last week. A mix of visiting family and sight-seeing, with three things ticked off my wish list. Heading to the South Downs, we arranged an overnight stop near Banbury to break the long journey. It was great to catch up with family members we don’t get to see often enough and a good time was had by all. We all went to the coast, spending the day between Arundel, Brighton and Worthing.  The weather was better than expected, blue skies and sunshine, and very mild for late October. This was my first time on this stretch of the coast, apart from Butlin’s, Bognor Regis, when we’d only ventured out of the holiday camp once, briefly, to see the sea. My wish list included Brighton, to see the pier and the pavilion, so I enjoyed the drive along the coast which took in both of these and more. We strolled along the front at Worthing, pebbled beach and calm sea with the occasional wave breaking onto the stones. We had a leisurely dinner at a water’s edge restaurant, looking out on to the twilight seascape as the late afternoon became early evening. A beautiful end to a perfect day.

Looking out on to the sea and sands used to fascinate me when I lived in the pub on South Promenade. I loved walking on the beach or the prom with my mother when I was a child. It became for me, our special time together. Mum would take me across to South Pier for a game of bingo and a play in the amusement arcade, then we’d have a walk, sometimes up to Central Pier and back. It is an area I associate strongly with her, and always will. After she passed away, I took myself there to be alone with my thoughts, my sorrow. It had become a special place.  It was a place to think of happy memories, a place to release tears and a place to shout out in anger. Fresh air and freedom, in all seasons and all times of day, but mostly in the calm of early evening, a quiet sunset with the tide out,  then the twilight dimming my vision.

Homeward from the South, we spent a couple of days in Shropshire, visiting more family members, but sight-seeing on our own. This ticked off two things on my wish list, The Iron Bridge, which I’d wanted to go and see for ages, and the Blists Hill Victorian Town – a living museum – which I’d wanted to visit since seeing it on an episode of The Apprentice earlier this year.

Autumn Twilight,

On a south coast beach
Built of white pebbles
The crash of waves reach
Over the edge.

The daylight fading,
The Channel dark’ning,
Twilight sky shading
The horizon.

On a north west beach,
Miles of smooth, fine sand,
Evening seagulls screech.
Late colony.

The sky, pinkish grey.
Sea claims the sunset
At the end of the day.
Autumn Twilight.

PMW 2023.

Thanks for reading, Pam x

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Making Waves

I'm not normally a confrontational kind of person. Once in a blue moon however, I do tend to "go off on one" and inevitably, it results in a reaction of total amazement, which at the time only adds to the fury that I'm trying to vent. Not a good thing really. This is the only way I seem to make waves. Quite boring eh?

However ..... They do say that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction don't they? In a "Butterfly Effect" kind of way .....

The actions of other people are the usual trigger for me to "lose my rag", and last week was no exception. Someone else "made waves" causing "after ripples". Imagine being in a shop with your 7 year old son and making your way towards the checkout when the man being served decides to rob the cashier as she opens the till. The realisation that I needed to make sure we stayed safe played quickly through my mind, but it all happened so quickly, it was over before I knew it and thankfully he didn't use a weapon. It resulted of course in a flurry of emotions; primarily shock, not only for the poor members of staff, but the onlookers too, alongside anger (that he'd put people in fear of safety/danger), fear itself and futility/frustration (that I couldn't see what he looked like as I was behind him). It's the anger that still remains though.


HOW DARE YOU?!!:

You thieving piece of scum!
How DARE you?!!
You PATHETIC and COWARDLY piece of S#*t!
You took that which wasn't yours
for your own greed and satisfaction.
In doing so, 
you did something 
which isn't big
or clever.
In fact,
all it does is to evoke
feelings of disgust,
venomous anger 
and a burning desire 
to hurt you.
And I mean REALLY hurt you.
Would YOU like it
if the people you loved
more than ANYTHING 
in this whole UNIVERSE
were threatened
or put in fear of their personal safety?
How would YOU feel?
There is NO such thing 
as a victimless crime!
You may think that all you've done
is to deprive a large company
of some of their profits,
but in robbing that store
you created a wave
of events
resulting in injury,
trauma, shock
and ANGER.
It's a dangerous emotion 
that last one,
especially when coupled
with a Mothers love!
Never not EVER 
underestimate it!


Ok. Calming down now. Feel a little better now I've got that off my chest! Thanks for reading! ;-) x

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