written and posted by members of Lancashire Dead Good Poets' Society

Showing posts with label Colin Davies.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Colin Davies.. Show all posts

Monday, 20 May 2013

Reasons not to write


Reasons not to write...

I am dead,
Bereft of life,
Breathless,
Buried,
Checked out,
Deceased,
Defunct,
Departed,
Done for,
Expired,
Extinct,  
Gone to meet my maker,
Inanimate,
Inert,
Late,
Liquidated,
Bloodless,
Mortified,
No more,
Non existing,
Offed,
Cadaverous,
Out of my misery,
Passed away,
Perished,
Pushing up the daisies,
Reposing,
Resting in peace,
Spiritless,
Stiff,
Wasted,
I have ceased to be,
No more,
I have been push off this mortal coil,
My goose is cooked,
I dream no more,
Still hearted,
Under no illusions about my sudden return to life,
Kicked the bucket,
Snuffed it,
Gone next door,
Been taken by foxes,
Finding out the truth about God,
Bought the farm,
No more the fool,
Feeling better now,
I am an ex-parrot...

And even then I would probably be a ghost writer.

Monday, 13 May 2013

Pop Music


New York, London, Paris, Munich everybody talk about mmmm, that’s right pop pickers this weeks theme is all about pop, pop, pop music.

With the invention of the teenager in the 1950’s came the creation of the parent saying “What’s this rubbish?”. Though a little know made up fact is, at the very same time Bill Haley rocked us around the analog time piece, another form of being was on the rise. And as the charts became more and more about the popular vote and the majority of young people having a good time, this new social group fell in rank and file to express their views with smug expression.

That’s right, with the explosion of the pop music scene came the meteoric rise of the pretentious twat. A social class that, like pop culture, is still around to this very day.

Before pop, pretentious twats were just pretentious. They huddled together writing poetry and classic literatur, living the life a drunk with money with only the occasional witty riposte to make a social comment or patronise others for using a tautology.

With pop music the pretentious evolved, becoming more and more twatish as the years rolled on. Their refusal to listen to anything ‘popular’ moved them further and further away from the people they so wished to condescend until, they themselves became the joke.

The self imposed exile has stopped them being exposed to great moments in writing, one of the very things they hold dear. Such great poetic works like ABBAs sinister “The day before you came” or the subversive version of “Tainted Love” by Soft Cell.

Throughout the history of pop you can find some outstand examples of poetic writings, “Neon on my naked skin, passing silhouettes of strange illuminated mannequins” - ‘Big in Japan’ Alphaville; “Beauty I’d always missed, with these eyes before. Just what the truth is, I can't say anymore” - ‘Nights in White Satin’ Moody Blues and of course, “You ain’t nothing but a Hound Dog, Cryin’ all the time” - ‘Hound Dog’ Elvis Presley.

Behind every single one of these records is a fantastic wordsmith and musician. Sometimes the performer is that creative genius, and sometimes it’s not however, the performer is usually of equal talent, though I must admit this is not always the case. And I do understand not all pop music displays flashes for pure art, some of it is quite puerile but, if like the pretentious twats, you close yourself off to it, you’ll never seen the diamond in the shit.

All art is art, and you are allowed to like things that sometimes you shouldn’t. These are our guilty pleasures. I think it’s ok to be pretentious because what’s the point of opening yourself up to all the beauty in the world if you can’t lord it over someone who thinks Dan Brown is a great writer from time to time. It’s the twat bit that holds people back. Open your mind to things without having a preconceived idea because someones else has already labeled it for you.

So turnaround bright eyes, it a mad world out there and ask yourself, are you ready for this jelly?

Monday, 25 March 2013

How to be a Super Hero Part 1

08:10:00 Posted by Colin Daives , , , , , 2 comments


Hmmm, super powers?

It's an age old question, along with "what's better UFOs or dinosaurs?" and "Start Trek or Star Wars?" it's probably one of the most asked questions among circles of enthusiasts loving know as geeks. The difference with the super powers question is it has a broader appeal. Not everyone has seen Star Wars, but I lay good odds on everyone having a power they want.

But which power? X-ray vision? Flight? The ability to not get stressed in the super market? (Is market a super power? Ed) How do you decide?

As you can see there are so many questions to ask, so much to consider. My old English teacher thought my group of friends were wasting our time debating such important issues, yet when we ask her she said "Inadvisability." Which, to be fair, is a good answer and much better than the over sized penis idea Simon Stubb's had.

The problem I see with powers is how can you have just one? Spider-man has strength, wall climbing and spider sense  Superman has flight, strength, X-ray vision, super hearing and an over sized penis. All the one trick super ponies seem to form gangs like the X-men.

Then there's the issue of power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Taking this further results in super corruption, an idea explored very well in Garth Ennis's "The Boyz." A graphic novel series that is not for the faint hearted.

So what super power would I have? Sorry but I am going to have to give you two answers. First would be the evil Colin, taking a power to use for mischief  That would be 'Stepping Out of Time.' An ability that would allow me to effectively stop time for everyone except me. This power would enable me to rob banks, steal cars, and pull don Piers Morgan's trousers then draw a Cock & Balls on his forehead with a permanent marker during a live TV broadcast. It's the little things that make me smile.

As a force for good I'll have to take my inspiration from Douglas Adams. The only new idea in the Hitchhickers Guide to the Galaxy film that was written by Mr Adams that didn't appear in his other works was the 'Point of View Gun.' A weapon that would make whomever you hit with a shot from the gun, instantly see your point of view. Which would stop wars. So I think I'd like a power that removed peoples hate and fear just by touching them.

Though I must admit, the evil Colin power has the potential to be a lot more fun. But isn't that just the draw of the Dark Side?

How to be a Super Hero Part 1

To be the hero I must have a neat super power
Something cool to help fight crime and make the bad guy cower

To get to the crime scenes I’ll want to be able to fly,
Zooming over roof tops faster than Blackpool’s CSI.

To see criminals running, I’ll need to have super sight,
Then swooping down from the sky above to break up the fight.

To apprehend the perp I’ll require super muscles,
The strength to hold and restrain through the hustle and bustle.

To grab the headline I’ll need a suit full of colours bright,
Purple top with Red under pants over shiny blue tights.

To really become noticed I'll need a good super name,
Something like 'Invincible Col' should work to bring me fame.

But this is with good intention, I know it will not last,
As a hero I'd need to do stuff, not sit on my arse.