One Christmas Poem

Good evening all, 

This week we've been looking at numbers and feeling all festive. Not all of you? Well I have. Yesterday I rewrote the twelve days of Christmas with Lara (available on the DGPS facebook wall I think) and today, in the same- ooh, I'll make a poem mindset- I've created another one for you all. I feel it is equally cynical, as all Christmas poems should be so without further adieu, here it is. 

Christmas Poem #2

Whilst bankers guard their pots by night

all brimming full of gold

The rest of us are set to watch

on telly, in the cold.

For times like these have been a squeeze

both up and down the land

I don't suppose that Davey knows

He's been out to Helmand.

In quick like Santa, he whistlestopped

and gave a half arsed speech

Something about the job being done

no 'fight them on the beach'!

But jobs are up the figures say

look at this aggregate

Erm, Davey boy, there's more people

your sack is full of shit. 

So this Christmas I'd like to ask

just like the one before

If Cameron, dressed as fat St Nick

would stop by my front door.

I'll help him with his list for coal

add on a million more

I'm sure there'll be no greater gift

than Dave helping the poor.

Thanks for reading, and merry Christmas to you all. 

S.

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It's all in the picture

Due to a very heavy workload I will be covering for Cerrie this week.


Oscar Wilde's A Picture of Dorian Grey shocked a society when it was first published in 1890 as the lead story in Lippincott's Monthly Magazine. The magazine itself censored over 500 words from the original because they were deemed to be too much. Though most of the outrage was because the scenes of the debauchery depicted acted more like a mirror to the higher order and served as confirmation of actions to those living in the less fortunate world. 

In 1891 Wilde removed some of the more controversial passages, added a couple of chapters and did some major rewrites to create the book form that is so well known today.

What most people don't realise about A Picture of Dorian Grey is how much of it is based on reality. Not all the sordid frightfulness, we all know what the other half get up to in the quiet of their own Buckingham Palace. It's the painting, the picture, the wearer of the sins that is real.

Yes I know it sounds too amazing to be true however, I have located the pictures held in the attics of some well known politicians and when you see them you will understand how these people maintain such a normal looking face with all the wrong they do.

First up is Dep. Prime Minister Nick Clegg.

Then the main man himself, David Cameron 

But the most compelling evidence that pictures are are being kept to hide the effects of sins from an evil doing person is this one of Margaret Thatcher.

It was removed from her attic 1 week before she passed. As you can see, there was a lot of sin to catch up with.

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David Cameron's Things To Do List

by Ashley Lister

 sell some UK assets

help an oxbridge chum

screw the country's voters

soundly up the backside

line the bankers’ pockets

get Nick Clegg on his knees

sanction fuel price hikes

make the old folk freeze

give away Royal Mail

make sure my friends get stocks

keep employing Georgie Osborne

keep sucking Tory lollipops

help my friends dodge taxes

do my business chums a favour

advise the poor to buy jumpers

blame it all on labour

beatify dear Maggie

locate George Osborne's brain

kill more old folk than Harold Shipman

screw Nick Clegg again

destroy a once proud nation

reside at number 10

screw Cleggy for one final time

get voted in again

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