Catalogues With Glossy Pages

As an eleven and twelve year old, there was something exciting about the arrival of the latest home-shopping catalogue. It took both hands to lift it on to the table and all day to choose items of clothing, sticking to the given budget. Glossy pages with a distinctive inky smell felt pleasant to touch and were slowly turned from one appealing outfit to another with corners folded down to mark likely purchases. My mother wasn’t well enough to take us shopping and growing girls needed new clothes all the time. The catalogue was a life-line.

Later, when I was considered old enough to go to town with friends, I was given money to buy things from Chelsea Girl – my favourite boutique – and Marks & Spencer for underwear. The catalogue always had a place, though, and as I grew up and raised my own family, it was useful for household items. Affordable credit added to the appeal of the convenience of home shopping.

We used to keep the catalogues in a cupboard with the fat telephone directories. Littlewoods and Grattan along with Argos, Toys’R’Us, and Betterware, when the man came. They’ve all gone now, though sometimes we have Cotton Traders if they think we need reminding that they are there.

The physical catalogues might have ceased to fill the cupboard, but the way of shopping remains. We’re online instead. Amazon has absolutely everything, just a click away. The anticipation of the catalogue parcel has been replaced by the excitement of the Prime van being only three stops away. Marks & Spencer has more appeal online than in store. I was recently disappointed to visit our branch and discover a shop reduced in size by closing off the top floor and carrying limited stock. The food hall was as bad. A wasted trip on my part.

We still get those mini-catalogues stapled into the TV listings magazines, the ones full of interesting gadgets that make me wonder how old I’ll be before I can’t manage without them. They go straight into the recycling.

Haiku for those long ago times,

A nice, grey school skirt
And a navy blue cardy
To start the new term.

Some smart white blouses
A pair of stirrup trousers
That’s what we called them.

Strap under the feet.
And socks and knickers and vests
And some pyjamas.

PMW 2023

Thanks for reading, Pam x

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Please Sir, can we have some more?

This week on the blog, we've been looking at the road less travelled or, as I call it, the fightback of the British economy. You may be wondering what this has to do with poetry but, as we're stagnant again and it seems the chancellor has absolutely no idea which way is up, I figured it was my chance to vent at him. 
Okay, so that wasn't very subtle but neither was George with his little red briefcase- and at least I've not tried to bugger you this morning. Had I attempted it, there'd be plenty of squealing done as I've torn the ligaments in my foot playing football. Here I am then, playing through the pain and making sure I get a topical boot in. Enjoy (which is probably not the right word). 


Please sir, can we have some more?

Dear George, I'm rather curious
Just what is it you do
It seems that our economy 
Is faltering with you
The only growth is growing old
We're stagnant in our 'spacious' homes
Please tax us, so we feel we own
A stake in this great fightback. 

Without you George, we'd all be stuck
Probably in some deeper rut
Where all the doors are slamming shut
with no chance to escape.
Your fresh idea of bigger cuts
Most excellent, let's stop those scruffs
and reward those who enter Crufts
the foresight is quite staggering. 

Whilst you're on a roll, why not attack
The families with nothing yet put back
Why shouldn't strivers pay extra tax
and be thankful, just for working?
For curiously, we're going backwards
With all these cuts and stealthy taxes
Bedrooms are a privilege for lower classes
Anyone for a second home?

Yes George, we all now live in fear
Despite 4 pence less tax on our pint of beer
Can you still not see that your numbers are queer
Maybe someone can tell you on twitter.
There's no money George and with you, there won't be
Stop your messing with the British economy
We've been downgraded, so hashtag that
Now trending: @george_osborne, twat.



Thanks for reading, 
Shaun. 

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