written and posted by members of Lancashire Dead Good Poets' Society

Showing posts with label card. Show all posts
Showing posts with label card. Show all posts

Tuesday, 14 November 2023

Solitaire - Alone

My mother loved her diamond solitaire ring and wore it all the time. It was a gift from my father, bought in Hatton Gardens on one of their trips to London. She was delighted with it and I watched it twinkling like a rainbow on her finger. It would have been dwarfed by Elizabeth Taylor’s diamond, but it was large enough to be the status symbol it was intended to be. Sadly, within the year, Mum became ill again and succumbed to the cancer she had battled off and on for three years. The ring was eventually passed on to my sister. It sparkles on her hand and looks lovely. I chose pieces of my mother’s jewellery for what they mean to me, yet I rarely wear them. There will always be the pain of loss and how life changed.

Singer Andy Williams cover of Neil Sedaka’s song, ‘Solitaire’. I can’t remember exactly when I first heard it, but for some reason I associate it with moving into the small bedroom – I think I’d swapped rooms with my sister – and sorting my belongings into the fitted furniture.  I listened to music all the time, records or radio and I really liked this song. For a week it was Radio Luxembourg’s powerplay, every hour, every show. To hear it now throws me right back to that moment in time and being seventeen.

‘Solitaire’ is a card game to play solo. I learnt it as ‘Patience’ but it’s the same thing. Cards are set out in a row of seven, first one face up, others face down. The next row, miss the first card, place a card face up on the second card then place cards face down along the rest of the row. Repeat until the last pile has six cards facing down and one facing up. Remaining cards will come into play as needed. The object of the game is to place cards in sequence, King at the top, Ace at the bottom, and alternating red and black. If a face-up card is moved on to another, the face down card can be turned over. Only a King can move into a space at the top. The remaining pile of cards can be turned one by one as needed. Completion would be four columns going from King to Ace in alternate colours. I’ve never introduced myself to a points system, I’ve just taken it as far as I can then either started again or made it work out –no, it’s not cheating when you’re playing by yourself.

I found this poem by John Updike,

Black queen on the red king,
the seven on the black
eight, eight goes on the nine, bring
the nine on over, place
jack on the queen. There is space
now for that black king who,
six or so cards back,
was buried in the pack.
Five on six, where's seven?
Under the ten. The ace
must be under the two.
Four, nine on ten, three, through.
It's after eleven.

 John Updike 1932 - 2009


Thanks for reading, Pam x

Monday, 29 July 2013

Sheep on a hill

08:55:00 Posted by Colin Daives , , , , , , 1 comment
WHAT IS THIS LIGHT!

Oh it's morning. Daybreak bursting through the crack in my curtains infecting my light starved eyes with blurred pain. DAM! It's like this every morning but never happens the same way twice. I didn't even have a drink last night. I don't drink any night.

The constant sound of a pen tapping on a wooden surface relaxes me. Some people find it annoying, like nurse Gemma. She grabs the pen off me and throws it in the bin. The look on her face is one of utter violence. I'm sure if she thought she'd get away with it she'd stab that pen into eye socket and grind it round until the clear plastic started to scrape the bone. Fat cow. Who does she think she is?

Breakfast is simple flaky powdered crap with milk. Good for me they say, good for no one. It's Tuesday so yesterday was Monday. On Monday's we get post. I got a postcard from my mother.

According to the picture on the front she's in Eastbourne with Derek. I hate Derek, have done ever since he took mother away from grieving for father. She wasn't ready, it had only been 4 years, he could see how vulnerable she was and...

Sheep on a hill; sheep on a hill; sheep on a hill...

I stared at the message on that back for 16 hours 27 minutes and 32 seconds. I couldn't believe what she'd written; I don't believe it. Blue ink from a ballpoint pen. You can tell by the way the card indents under the pressure of writing.

It wasn't the “Having a lovely time” or the “Weather is nice, bit blowy”, those kind of formal statements are just part of the course. The line that threw me, that made me dream and hope before I realised it was bull “Wish you were here.”

Filled with cruel intention and disingenuous feeling “Wish you were here.” as if. She never wanted me in her in the first place. Would have had the doctors rip me out if she could have. Couldn't wait to put me in here with nurse Gemma, get me out of the house, get me as far away from her as possible.

“Wish you were here.”

I WANT MY PEN BACK!