Wednesday, 7 May 2014

The Heeby Jeebies

21:54:00 Posted by Lindsay , , , 2 comments
Like Vicky I suffer from episodes of anxiety, and again usually after the storm has died down after a negative life experience. Unlike Vicky I haven't yet found tools that help me with this. But my pure panic sets in during public speaking and more so during tests such as my driving test. I'm a capable driver but have failed my driving test 7 times, my Scooter test once, and the feeling is always the same. Terror.

I have a similar fear of reading my work out and writing on-line, but it's more manageable. I think the reason for this is because as a teen I wrote to deal with things in my life I couldn't change. Home was very difficult. My mum was an alcoholic and my dad couldn't deal with it in any other way than anger and violence. So every day I went to the library at school before school, during breaks and dinner, and for as long as I could after school. And I wrote. There was no real structure, I wrote whatever my imagination told me to. I claimed to be writing a book but would probably cringe myself inside out if I had to reread it now. It was clich├ęd, without any real plot-line and had stone circles and mystical elements. It was shite but it was what got me through every day. Which is why I continue to write whenever I can, to regain that elation of being completely lost in what I write. I'm now daunted by plot-lines, structure, and literary writing a little but I'm keen to keep learning and actually finish something that isn't a rambling ream. I write to escape, and it's the only thing I really know that helps when the shit around me gets too much. So I write and will keep writing, even if it is a bit crap.

In other news here's a comic wot I found on t'interwebs.



Adele said...

You write because you have a creative gift. Confidence - that is another story but the first two chapters of your book as read at the open mic nights are superb.

Christo said...

Lot to say on this subject, but that will have to be LATERS as I need togo for a shave and pamper now.